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January 2014 Moms
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Please send happy vibes

Mandii385Mandii385 member
in January 2014 Moms
My hubby had been having problems with drinking... He hit me a couple weeks ago and has been sober for a while until recently he thought he would be sweet and buy me wine, only for him to drink half.... He ended up turning nasty and hitting me again, me and the baby are going to my parents. Has anyone been through this? Insight please!
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Re: Please send happy vibes

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    SandFHasseSandFHasse member
    I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm glad that you and the baby are going to your parents. I have not been through anything like this and have no advice. Just keep you and the baby safe. Thoughts are with you guys. Hugs
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    TylynngraceTylynngrace member
    I didn't go through this with a SO but I did with my dad. It's really hard to separate from the person that you expected more out of but in the end it's what's best for you and your baby. Hang in there mama, prayers headed your way.
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    somewierd_personsomewierd_person member
    Just keep your physical safety and your baby's safety in mind right now. I am going to suggest finding a good counselor for yourself. I know some people with mental health issues that get complicated with alcohol and violence. No matter how you choose to handle it your priority is to keep your child free from harm. You're already taking difficult steps to help yourself, good for you. I personally would mandate some help for your hubby as well. I'm not a fan of trying to moderate when there is real help out there. I'll keep your family in my prayers during this painful time.
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    bensmommy518bensmommy518 member
    I am really sorry you are dealing with this and happy to see you have taken the step to move into your moms.  Please remember to keep your safety and LO's safety above all else - and like tarajeannette said - safety is more than just physical safety. 

    I work in the addictions field and can tell you that your husband needs professional help - but I think you already know that.  They best thing you can do to support him is to maintain boundaries - which can include refusing to move back in until he is receiving help.  Or you can kick him out until he gets help.  I HIGHLY suggest you start going to Al-Anon meetings even if only for education and support for you.  You should get into counseling for yourself and he should get his own counseling.  Also plan to do family sessions together before reconciling so you can establish boundaries and expectations together (for example be clear about what will happen if he drinks again). 

    If you have any questions or need any type of support feel free to PM me. 




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    jcwinstojcwinsto member

    Everyone has given really great advice so I'm just going to send you hugs and tell you to stay strong.  Don't give in and don't go back until he is getting good help and has shown that he is changing. Really changing, not just promising to change.  It will take a lot of strength on your part but you can do it.  It is what is best for you and the baby. 

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    MiaMyPuggleMiaMyPuggle member
    Sorry you're going through this. I dealt with physical and emotional abuse by an alcoholic my entire childhood. Thank you, on your child's behalf, for leaving. Without professional intervention, he won't get far in his sobriety. He also needs to decide that he's not picking up the bottle. I'd leave until he's been sober and can prove to you that he is for several months. I want nothing to do with the person who affected my life so much when he/she is drinking. I resent it and despise it. Probably why I don't really drink at all. Literally, I have a glass or two of wine a year. It has that much of an effect on me. Just speaking from your child's standpoint if this crap he puts you thru continues. I'm hoping for the best for you and LO.

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    ac1259ac1259 member
    Good for you for getting out! I haven't dealt with it in a relationship but I have also with a parent and coming from your child's perspective..get out and stay out until when and if he can prove this will never happen again. Both of you will be better off..I'm so sorry you're going through this mama:( I'll be thinking of you and praying for you guys!




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    chicki1012chicki1012 member
    Lots of good advice from the pp's. Sorry your going through this, sending u prayers that everything will end up being ok. What pp's said number one thing is to keep baby safe. Hugs.
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    Mandii385Mandii385 member
    Thanks everyone. We have started couples therapy as well as him enrolling in a rehab after work program. Thanks for the t&p this is not something easy to talk about, honestly it's embarrassing but thank you ladies for listening!
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