SAHM routine?

BabyCurtiss2014 · September 2014

For the SAHM do you have a routine yet? Does your DH expect you to do all the house chores? Have you joined any mommy groups?

elsa1688 · September 2014

I am in a moms group and I am starting an infant class at a local preschool coop tomorrow. There's a mommy baby yoga class on Tuesdays so that gives me something to do TWTh. DF is off Sunday and Monday so Friday and Saturday are open days. The days are a little long sometimes. I need to go on more walks and I am thinking about joining a local mom workout group. It's hard. I was in another mom group that ended recently. I feel like I keep putting myself out there but haven't really clicked with anyone yet.

Hairstylist16 · September 2014

I consider myself a sahm even though I work part time in the evenings and the lo has a schedule more because the toddler has a schedule. Although its a loose schedule since it seems hectic a lot of the time.
My DH does expect me to do it all which is why I have all this resentment and anger towards him. I would love to join a play group for my toddler so he could make more friends but my town doesn't have any.

kriati03 · September 2014

@elsa1688‌ I also have been involved in a few different mommy groups but haven't clicked with anyone yet! Hoping to find at least one new legitimate friend in this process.

I don't have a specific routine since our day to day activities change. I'm glad that LO isn't stuck on a specific schedule that we are able to change things up.

I do most of the chores around the house and DH doesn't complain too much when he has to step up and do some.

I take some mom and baby yoga classes, just signed up for weekly moms group with sponsored speakers, and plan to start with the local library singing group in a couple weeks.

nunzchucks · September 2014

It's probably different for me since I've been a SAHM for 2.5 years, but we have a routine and both kids have a pretty predictable schedule. We run everyday after DS's first nap. On Monday, I wash all the linens, Tuesdays I dust and vacuum, Wednesdays I do the laundry, Thursdays I clean the bathrooms and Fridays I deep clean the kitchen and grocery shop. I pay all the bills and make dinner almost every night unless we have leftovers.

I belong to my local early childhood PTA and I love it. We do 4 or 5 activities with them each month in addition to library story time once a week.

CrysW08 · September 2014

I sort of have a routine but only when it comes to when I shower & walk the dog. I only recently started being able to get some of my usual house stuff done too but that just happens on days when LO cooperates. DH gets how time-consuming taking care of LO is & so he does whatever needs to be done after he gets home from work. I haven't joined any groups but our library has a "lap-sitter" story time starting next week so I'm hoping to meet some SAHMs there.

MNOpea · September 2014

We do not really have a set schedule, we just try to do something everyday, which is more for the toddlers benefit. Options include: the zoo, library time, the playground, walking to the base , and playing with a friend. There are no mommy groups in the area but I luckily have a friend with a toddler close in age to mine, no small baby friends yet though

coffee89 · September 2014

We have a loose schedule at this point. We get up around 8 (If he gets up earlier he is normally content in his crib for a little bit), change, snuggle, feed and play for a while. When he gets close to his morning nap I'll put him in his vibrating chair and he normally stays there until after his nap. The afternoons are a bit more flexible, that is when he gets grumpiest so I'll try to get my out of the house errands done at that time (car and walking calm him down). His early evening nap is "me time" where I can get my shower, or a meal, or just sit in silence. When DH gets home it's normally play, feed, off to bed.

DH's only expectations is that everyone makes it out of the day as happy and healthy as possible. He does expect me to take up more chores than he does but he will take the baby during the evening and weekend so I can do them if I want, which is fair to me. He does help with things that get put off until the weekend, but I try to keep up with it during the week, otherwise I would go nuts with nothing to do. Some days are better than others, yesterday I managed to get a load of laundry in and that was all for the day vs today where I'd cleaned and rearranged the living room and had dishes done by 10am.

I am trying out a moms group and so far I like it. Even if I don't end up doing outside play dates and making friends, I figure 2 hours with adults at the meetings who understand is still worth going.

tbmadeamistake · September 2014

Our schedule is mostly for the toddler but charlie is starting to fall on line with it. Up around six or shortly after. Hang out at home until around nine. Top of charlie food wise and head out (playground, library, errands). There is a new playgroup at the church we use for the kids' baptisms that is nice, once a week. Charlie mostly sleeps while we are out but is starting to surprise me and stay awake for more of it. Come home for lunch and a nap around noon. Long naps so we generally are up again around three. These days we hang out at home in the afternoons. C plays and watches movies. Charlie has another snack and a shorter nap. Dinner at 6:30 and then off to bed for Catherine. Charlie gets his last bottle between seven and eight depending on his mood. Both kids asleep by eight is the goal. If we are doing bath, it tends to happen before dinner.

jclester614 · September 2014

Holy moly, @nunzchucks, you are superwoman!

Like @Hairstylist16 I consider myself SAHM even though I work PT from home. DH and I own a small business together, and I'm supposed to do the admin and bills while taking care of LO. It is so freakin hard, especially as we go thru growth spurts when all the baby wants is to be nursed and/or held. We have gone back and forth about hiring someone (we fired my maternity leave replacement bc she was terrible), but it saves a lot of money if I do it myself. Also, if the new person sucks, it'll just be back to square one again.

I also do 95% of the chores and 100% of the meals (including packing DH's lunch every night/morning) and manage our personal finances... I also have resentment about this. I don't think DH understands what he's expecting of me. Some days I don't leave the house, and he doesn't understand why that happens either. If he helps me, I feel like he makes it sound like it's because I'm failing so he has to bail me out. [end rant...sorry!]

LO usually goes to sleep around 12am-2am, wakes at 6am so I feed him in bed and we both go back to sleep until about 10:30am. Then I feed him and me, and we're looking at 11:30/12 when I feel like I really "start" my day. I work while LO plays or naps or eats. The afternoon looks loosely like that, in a loop, until DH gets home and then I pass the baby off so I can make dinner. After dinner it's a little down time, maybe a shower, later usually dishes and maybe some laundry. LO sometimes takes a long nap around 6-8pm, but sometimes not. Then it's eating/snuggling/crying until 12-2am when finally he will go to sleep.

curlylocks3 · September 2014

I wasn't sure how specific you wanted me to be about the routine. H works long hours so I try to do bigger chores on the weekends when he is home but otherwise do them Monday. Cleaning is usually Saturday and then I'll just do a sweep every few days during the week. Laundry is Sunday for sheets, towels and clothes. I normally grocery shop on Friday or Saturday evening. We cloth diaper so that is every other day and I do another load of baby laundry later in the week. We go to PT on Wednesdays and I'm working on going to at least one play group thing a week.
Daily routine though is that H does their first morning feeding while I go to the gym. If we need something from the grocery in the middle of the week I pick it up on my way home. They take a longerish nap so when I get back I will shower and make my formula pitchers/ bottles for the day and spend some time with the cat. They get up for the day around 830 or 9 and we do feedings followed by play time, then naps. They eat every 3 hours until bedtime so we pretty much follow that routine...sometimes we run errands but not often. If I haven't gone to the gym in the morning we will do a long walk or I'll take them to babysitting at the gym but I prefer to escape entirely on my own.
Naps can be hit or miss so I try to do things during them like sweep, prep dinner or wash bottles but if the napping has been more "miss" I do those after they go to bed (by 8 ideally).
I've always done more of the chores and now with H's hours I definitely do. I resented him at the beginning but also wasn't good at giving them up. I am weird in that cleaning is therapeutic for me. I do the cooking usually but that's because H's idea of cooking is chicken nuggets. He'll eat pretty much anything though so that makes it easier. And while he doesn't do a lot of chores since he's not home a ton he is good about grabbing my phone where my to do list is and doing what he can.

curlylocks3 · September 2014

Geez that was long, sorry! I joined a moms group and have only gone to a few things. I'm working on it! I know I need to meet people but it's hard.

nunzchucks · September 2014

@jclester614‌ It's not as busy as it sounds. Breaking up chores really helps!

AandJ28 · September 2014

@nunzchucks - I really like that you have designated days for doing specific household work. I feel like I am constantly all over the place with the housework so seeing your schedule sounds like something I'm going to try. Thanks!!

We have a schedule of wake, eat, cuddle, nap (I shower), eat, play time or errands, nap, eat, play time, daddy time, eat, bath, story time, bed.

I am going to start researching mommy groups in my area and I also want to look into mom/baby yoga. There is a stroller walking group that meets at the local outdoor shopping center so I'm going to check that out as well. I was thinking of looking into story time at the library but wasn't sure if LO was too young. Seeing so many of you do it, I am going to check it out.

H doesn't expect anything me to do all of the housework. He's great at helping in that area. Like others, I work part-time (coach all star cheering) at night and on Sundays so he helps take care of LO during those times. Even though I consider myself a SAHM mom, even though I coach since I'm home all day.

@megel85 - I feel the same way about figuring out who this new me is. Some days I feel great about the decision to stay at home and other days (when I'm covered in spit-up and haven't gotten out of sweats) I feel a little weird. Today I committed to myself that every day I am going to get dressed and put myself together. I feel much better when I do that than I do when I just lay around in sweats all day.

Taymiller · September 2014

We wing it.

I do have a chore "schedule" Monday is bedrooms, Tuesday is cat liter and dusting, Wednesday is bathrooms, Thursday is kitchen, living and dining room, Friday is floors, Saturday is nothing and Sunday is laundry. If the chores don't get done I don't worry about it. If I feel like napping instead of cleaning DH doesn't care.

I don't have a set schedule for LO, I feed him when he is hungry, he naps when he is tired. I do take him and the dog for a 2 mile walk every night during his witching hour around 7pm. We put him down around 9pm. I try not to stress over schedules and just go with the flow. If we plan to go anywhere I just make sure to pump and feed him right before we go.

Jenn111211 · September 2014

We sort of have a routine, but it is very flexible. DD usually wakes up between 5 and 6. I feed her and we snuggle for a little while. Then I put her on the play mat while I eat a quick breakfast. We play a little more and then she takes about a 30 minute nap, which is when I shower. Then we try to pretty much follow the eat, play, sleep (working on this part!) pattern until about 4:00. From that point on it is impossible to get her to nap. We usually go for a walk (which she hates, but I have to get out of the apartment so I do it anyway). DH usually gets home around 7:30. We take turns eating dinner, which he picks up on the way home from work. Then we give DD a bath, And DH gives her a bottle and puts her to bed while I pump.

As far as household chores, DH expects me to keep the place tidy, but we have someone come clean for us. DH had been doing the laundry on the weekends since my third trimester, but we just moved into a new apartment with a washer and dryer (we live in NYC), so I'm going to try to get laundry done during the week so we can spend more time together on the weekend. I'm hoping to eventually be able to clean myself or at least cook dinner once I start to get the hang of things.

I haven't found any groups to join but I really want to start getting out of the apartment more. I think I'm going to try Baby and Me yoga.

BabyCurtiss2014 · September 2014

Thanks ladies this is all so helpful to me!!! We do not yet have a routine, DS is 15 weeks and I thought about trying to get one going but I've been feeling overwhelmed. I thought some structure might help my sanity lol. DH expects me to do house chores and sometimes I just don't have the time. The day just gets away from me. Another reason I think a routine might help!

I want to join a mom group bc I don't know many people here we just moved here a year ago for DHs job and I got preggers right away so never started a new job so didn't meet too many people. I wish all of you lived here!!!

lol

nunzchucks · September 2014

@merie412 I will teach you my ways, grasshopper!

BabyCurtiss2014 · September 2014

merie412 said:

nunzchucks said:
It's probably different for me since I've been a SAHM for 2.5 years, but we have a routine and both kids have a pretty predictable schedule. We run everyday after DS's first nap. On Monday, I wash all the linens, Tuesdays I dust and vacuum, Wednesdays I do the laundry, Thursdays I clean the bathrooms and Fridays I deep clean the kitchen and grocery shop. I pay all the bills and make dinner almost every night unless we have leftovers.

I belong to my local early childhood PTA and I love it. We do 4 or 5 activities with them each month in addition to library story time once a week.
@nunzchucks‌, I want to be like you when I grow up.

@nunzchucks‌ me too! Lol you rock!

Stevens627 · September 2014

https://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

H thought it was amusing to send me this. ..

Hairstylist16 · September 2014

nunzchucks said:
It's probably different for me since I've been a SAHM for 2.5 years, but we have a routine and both kids have a pretty predictable schedule. We run everyday after DS's first nap. On Monday, I wash all the linens, Tuesdays I dust and vacuum, Wednesdays I do the laundry, Thursdays I clean the bathrooms and Fridays I deep clean the kitchen and grocery shop. I pay all the bills and make dinner almost every night unless we have leftovers.

I belong to my local early childhood PTA and I love it. We do 4 or 5 activities with them each month in addition to library story time once a week.

Wow nunschucks your kinda my hero. I wish I was that organized with a schedule

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