WWYD - preschool showing videos (often)

vszapp · September 2014

DD (2.5yo) just started preschool for 3 half days (9am-1pm). She *loves* it - never cried when she started and gets bummed on the days she doesn't go. She is very active, gregarious, and curious, so it's a great thing for her. When she leaves at 1pm the younger kids go to take a nap, and much to my chagrin I discovered that the older kids watch a "movie" on many days (I presume to keep them quiet and give them some down time - it's a small-ish school). Of course DD hears that the older kids are about to watch a video, and she doesn't want to leave, especially since screen time is limited to about 15 minutes, if at all, in our house. We are already battling the "can I watch a video?" thing constantly, and this just makes is much worse by making it seem like something that "big kids" do and also something that is out of reach. Obviously this is a personal preference thing and I know many kids watch a fair amount of TV and are just fine, but I would rather have her out playing, coloring, looking at books, etc until I really need her to sit still for a few minutes. Other than this I am happy with the school and it has a wonderful reputation, but this really peeves me for some reason (a movie at school daily, really??). I could talk to them about it, but clearly they're not going to change their practices for me. I'm not sure if (ok, how much) I'm overreacting, but do you think this is something I should just use as a teachable moment for her, or is this grounds for finding another school?

VOR · September 2014

You put movie in quotes. Why? Is it a full length movie, or is it perhaps a 1/2 hour show in order to give them down time? And what kind of show/movie is it? If it's something age appropriate and even educational, if it were my child, I wouldn't mind them watching one short thing a day.

Which brings me to my other thought - your DD isn't watching this, right? So, no, I wouldn't change schools just because she KNOWS that they watch a show and she wants to watch too. For me, this is a teachable moment.

Now, if you plan on having her go there through the age when she'll be one of the older kids - that's a different story. And if this is the case, my suggestion would be to talk to the director about the structure of the day for older kids and with this movie... what is it exactly? How long, content, etc.

If you still don't like it and you would move her by that age, then sure, maybe now is the time to move her.

But based on the little info in your OP, I wouldn't move her just based on that.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

What is the age difference between your daughter and the older children who are watching?

What are they watching and for what length of time? How often?

Are naps mandated by the state? Virginia, for example, requires an hour nap even through the 4 year old Junior Kindy. But most have dropped naps so they will give them down time as a suitable replacement.

vszapp · September 2014

@VOR - I put it in quotes because I don't know exactly what they are watching, only that the teachers calls it a "movie". Every time I pick DD up she is exhausted and I'm toting around a 4-month old as well, so I haven't had the time to follow up. We do plan on having her go when she is older; I imagine she'll drop her nap in the next year or so.

@marlaSinger& - no naps mandated in CA that I know of. I don't know how long the show is that they are watching, but every time I have picked her up, they've been starting a "movie"

[Deleted User] · September 2014

I would ask those questions to the director if you are concerned. It could have a simple and legit answer.

vszapp · September 2014

PrivacyWanted said:

Naps are mandated in CA - I know because we are dealing with a daily battle of not having my 4 year old nap because then she doesn't go to bed till 11pm. The way it is worded they can give some quiet time in a dark space in lieu of a nap - I think watching a video would be allowed. I know they can listen to music at the least.

DD also calls every video a movie no matter if it's a 2 minute video on anatomy or Frozen.

Your DD isn't watching it. I get that it bothers you because you have to deal with your DD wanting it, but I'd just use this as a teachable thing. There will be lots of things that the older kids get to do she doesn't, or kids at the park/target/school/church/temple/street corner get that she doesn't. I think 2.5+ is a great age to start teaching that we get what we get and we don't throw a fit.

Didn't know about the mandatory naps thing - maybe they do show a video to qualify for kids who can't sleep. It is the teachers who are calling it a movie, but of course I need to ask to learn more. I guess I just hate that they turn on the TV every day no matter what it is... But yes, there are lots of moments every day where we tell her she can't do something that other can. Just wasn't looking to add another to the mix.

shannm · September 2014

In the interest of full disclosure, I let DS watch movies while DD naps on the weekends. It is the only way I can get any chores done.

However, whether the school showing movies would bother me depends on how old the kids are, how long the shows are, what the show is and why exactly they are doing it.

If it is a small school and they are doing it as downtime for the kids while the teachers get a break, maybe to eat while things are quiet, then maybe no big deal.

But in general, the daycares/preschools that we have experience with don't regularly use tv. At nap time, the kids who don't nap, would listen to a quietly playing book on tape while resting, do activity books quietly, or read to themselves.

honkytonk_kid · September 2014

For now I would use it as a teachable moment. "Other kids might do X, but our family does Y."

If you plan on keeping her there as she gets older and into that group, I would address it or look elsewhere. And honestly I would have my doubts about a preschool that does a "movie"/show every day.

GillianB32 · September 2014

Wow @vszapp it looks like you're doing a great job by being able to limit screen time by fifteen minutes a day! Any tips on how you managed to achieve this?

[Deleted User] · September 2014

Our school doesn't have tv's but they project you tube clips , etc onto their white board. They do dance parties with it on rainy days.

Not the same as your situation but it's still screen time. Though I find it an excellent and creative way to spend some energy.

amieeyoung · September 2014

I worked in two different daycares, both used tv in the afternoon for older kids (an educational tv show about 30 minutes or so). It served two purposes, it helped the kids calm down and relax and was an activity that worked well for pick up time. If you are trying to do an activity and have a parent picking up a child every 5 minutes you don't get anything accomplished. This gave time for the teacher to talk with each parent as well about the child's day or any concerns and gave time for the teacher to get the kids stuff together and fill out plans for the next day.

It made sense in the older room. In the younger room kids played quietly (we had nap mid day, then snack, outside time, then quiet time- educational stuff was before nap.

Before you get to upset find out what they are watching and why they are watching it. Maybe it is so the older kids will be quiet enough for the young kids to get settled into a nap, or a way to get the older kids calmer at the end of the day and the teacher time to get things together for end of day.

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