First child, going to be a single mommy

jessicanicole25 · September 2014

I couldn't be more nervous/scared about going to be a single mom. I have my family that supports me but can only do so much. I've tried everything to have the father be apart of this but it's worse than talking to a wall. He complains he is "too busy" with his baseball teams and work. I'm 17 weeks and still active and working my heart out but would do anything and give up anything for my child where it's not the same for him. My dad walked out on my mom before I was born but was lucky enough to have my step dad start taking care of me when I was 3 months old! And mind you he was 15! Idk I just don't want my child to feel like I failed it by not being able to have him in my life like I want

agm04 · September 2014

I'm sorry.

At this point, some things are out of your control. You can't make him be there. You can only give him the opportunity to be involved. You love your baby and are going to do everything you can for her - that's not failing her. Take it one day at a time!

biaher16 · September 2014

He is going to regret one day not wanting to be part of the baby's life and honestly you can't force him either. Your baby needs people that love him and will be there for him. Best of luck and don't forget to meet with a lawyer to discuss your options, he made that baby as well so he should support it. Just my opinion.

jennjilljo · September 2014

That's rough. If he doesn't want to be involved now then he probably won't want to be involved in the future which can make your child feel bad about themselves. Do what you have to do to take care of you and that baby. Many women here were in your position at one point or a similar one. They have beautiful children who have real dad's that stepped in to take care of them and are expecting to expand their perfect little family's. GL to you and remember that your LO and their physical and mental health are the concern now. Healthy for the baby will be a lobbing supportive environment where s/he can feel wanted.

srcr2011 · September 2014

I am sorry you are going through this. Big hugs!!

crystalw88 · September 2014

That is a stinky, stinky situation! It really sucks that he's "too busy" with this and that. Children are such a blessing and come into this world for a reason! I hope he comes around or he'll never know what he's missing.

Cookie0875 · September 2014

This is a tough spot. All you can do is be strong and be there for your LO. Make sure they know it's not their fault he's not around later when they start asking. GL to you! We're all here for you!

amt0312 · September 2014

I'm sorry for the shitty situation that you are in. Of course, as you know, you need to start looking out for you and your LO above all else. He's made his choice, so now you have some choices to make. You need to decide if you are going to pursue child support, etc, from this guy or not. It's a long road from here. I know of a few girls who had their children's father sign over parental rights to protect them in the future from a deadbeat dad showing up suddenly wanting to be a part of the kids' lives. Of course, in this instance, I don't think you can collect child support.

Good luck and you'll make it through

jennypolkadots · September 2014

I agree with everyone else - this is a tough situation and I am so sorry you are going through this. I just wanted to add that it's never too early to go talk to a lawyer and see what you need to do to get child support. It's his deal if he doesn't want to be around but he does need to help support the child he helped create. Don't do this out of spite, but out of love for your child and their well being.

JoJoPlus2 · September 2014

I'm sorry you are going through this. Becoming a single mom is scary, I became a single mom with my first when he was 4 years old and although it was very scary to think of doing it on my own it was a very rewarding experience for me. You are not alone and if you ever need an ear, I am only a message away! (((HUGS)))

reneamac313 · September 2014

I'm sorry you are in the situation and I wish you the best. I don't think your child will ever feel like you failed them by not being able to keep someone that wasn't that interested in being there in their life. I wouldn't force something like that to happen, it can cause more pain in the long run.

Dani_Love · September 2014

Your child will not feel like you failed them, your child will know their father failed them and their mother did everything she could to be the best of both worlds. Talk to a lawyer, get child support. It's not an easy road but it is rewarding.

lizzybean · September 2014

I'm sorry for what you are going through. If he is "too busy" to be a father, then he does not deserve you or your baby.

I am not an expert, but make sure you seek some sort of legal advice about how to move forward. ((Hugs))

CogDis · September 2014

What a jerk! If he was too busy to be a father than he should have left it in his pants.

I don't get how we tolerate men like that in our society. The same thing happened to a dear friend of mine. She is happy as ever with another man and a sweet LO, but I still growl at that old slimeball!

You won't be single forever (if you don't want to be) and as long as you don't harp about how you and your LO are missing out because of that jerk then your LO won't feel like their missing out most of the time. My friends' LO hasn't ever met their father and this child is perfectly happy and well adjusted! She always taught him that not everybody gets a mother and father, some only get one, but he's lucky because he has some aunts and uncles and grandparents and friends who all love him. He truly does feel loved, IMO.

Good luck lady!

christenld · September 2014

I'm sorry you're in this situation! I'm so happy you have a supportive family though. You can make it great!

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