PGAL Ladies Question

MissMandyD · September 2014

For those of you who have had a D&E or D&C after a previous loss do you find yourself being extra nervous about your upcoming delivery? I am finding myself having anxiety about my D&E and this upcoming delivery. It is hard to just be excited and looking forward when you know how badly things can go. People keep telling me "Oh don't worry everything will be fine." and that just makes it worse.

Any advice or just not feeling like I am going crazy alone would be much appreciated.

Emerald27 · September 2014

No experience, but have you discussed this with your doctor? He/she may be able to set your mind a bit at ease, by carefully going over the risks with you...and not just the dr. google version of the risks, but by discussing the risks as they think they might relate to YOU and your specific experience, pregnancy, etc.

((Hugs))

toomanycats1 · September 2014

I'm a loss mom too, but mine came after my D&C procedure and pregnancy for DS(7).

Prior to having my son I had a D&C for fertility issues. Everything went fine with his delivery. What are you specifically concerned about relating to the D&C? So sorry Luv. Being PGAL is hard.

MissMandyD · September 2014

I talked to my doctor about and we both agree that I likely have milk PTSD from my D&E. She said everything is going really well and is on board with my birth plan.

What scares me is not only all that can go wrong but all the memories that go along with the D&E. I am in a different hospital but the triage room in the new hospital reminds me of pre-op for the D&E. Also when I was hospitalized at 27 weeks I had to explain the D&E with the twins to 3 different people. I asked my doctor to put it in my chart not to ask me about it. But still I am having trouble with the anxiety. From everything I have read and the classes the key to being successful with un-medicated birth is to keep yourself calm...I just hope I can do that.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

I had a d&e last August. I'm almost afraid to ask... What is making you anxious? I never heard of any risks/complications for women with a d&c in their medical history when it comes to labor.

Emerald27 · September 2014

@MissMandyD‌ I wonder if there would be a way for you to skip triage via a special accommodation. Or if they could dim the lights, have you stand or sit in a chair instead of on a hospital bed, or something.

I might start thinking of ways to make it very different so that you're able to remain calm and labor with your rhythm while waiting to be admitted. Plan music to listen to while you're in triage, or maybe make a plan with DH to slow dance or kiss while you're waiting (obviously not while they're checking you).

Kissing can help because it releases oxytocin. The slow dancing can help your labor pain be lessened and also changes the atmosphere a lot, and it's comforting to rock in DH's arms...something along those lines, some sort of plan, may help you through that part of L&D calmly.

More hugs!!!

MissMandyD · September 2014

Emerald27 said:

@MissMandyD‌ I wonder if there would be a way for you to skip triage via a special accommodation. Or if they could dim the lights, have you stand or sit in a chair instead of on a hospital bed, or something. I might start thinking of ways to make it very different so that you're able to remain calm and labor with your rhythm while waiting to be admitted. Plan music to listen to while you're in triage, or maybe make a plan with DH to slow dance or kiss while you're waiting (obviously not while they're checking you). Kissing can help because it releases oxytocin. The slow dancing can help your labor pain be lessened and also changes the atmosphere a lot, and it's comforting to rock in DH's arms...something along those lines, some sort of plan, may help you through that part of L&D calmly. More hugs!!!

Thank you....this is all great advice.

Maggie6424 · September 2014

I had a d&c in November and the doc said he wasn't concerned about any complications from it. Hopefully you'll do just fine and it'll be a distant memory.

Briala · September 2014

I'm not concerned with complications because of the D&C I am just scared that something will go wrong in general. I don't think I will feel calm until this baby is safe and healthy in my arms, but until he is out, I just worry that any moment something will happen and I won't realize it until it's too late. My D&C was 10/8/13 and I had a missed m/c I didn't know something was wrong until the second u/s at 10 wks and there was no heartbeat. It just stresses me out because I will be pregnant during the dates of the previous loss I am just a basket of nerves with just waiting... I just keep telling myself everything will be ok and crossing my fingers.

I wish all of you the best of luck and I hope you have nice and smooth labors, births, and healthy babies!

golfingdarwinfish · September 2014

I freak out every morning because LO is quiet overnight and in the morning (let's hope that carrie over to birth ;0) ), and I obsessively grab my stomach feeling for movement. I haven't really associated our past losses or my D&E with this birth at all (the pregnancy, yes, definitetly, but not the birth itself), and I won't let myself focus or even remember what it felt like to go to the hospital pregnant, and leave empty. I can't go there.

You may find that when you're on your way to the hospital because you are in birth things feel completely different than they did that day. There won't be sadness in the car, you won't be biting your lip/swallowing hard with tears running down your cheeks - you'll have nerves in your stomach, but you'll be excited and there will be a car seat in the backseat. Hopefully the whole aura around the day and the drive just feels different and that my help.

Eastie156 · September 2014

I remember feeling this way with DS after our m/c. I was anxious most of my pg with him, it was hard not to be. I don't have a ton of advice, just can offer some creepy ((hugs)). Hang in there, it does get better.

MissMandyD · September 2014

golfingdarwinfish said:

I freak out every morning because LO is quiet overnight and in the morning (let's hope that carrie over to birth ;0) ), and I obsessively grab my stomach feeling for movement. I haven't really associated our past losses or my D&E with this birth at all (the pregnancy, yes, definitetly, but not the birth itself), and I won't let myself focus or even remember what it felt like to go to the hospital pregnant, and leave empty. I can't go there.

You may find that when you're on your way to the hospital because you are in birth things feel completely different than they did that day. There won't be sadness in the car, you won't be biting your lip/swallowing hard with tears running down your cheeks - you'll have nerves in your stomach, but you'll be excited and there will be a car seat in the backseat. Hopefully the whole aura around the day and the drive just feels different and that my help.

Thank you. Sometimes it is hard to overcome the fear but I am sure you are right about the day and feeling very differently. I know what you mean about the morning movement. I have the same thing.

Maggie6424 · September 2014

I think nearly every parent has a fear that something could go wrong. DS1 is going to be 3 in December and I STILL worry about something happening to him!
Just try to remind yourself that you're in good hands and pray if you're a spiritual person.

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