2nd Trimester

over bearing mom...

sorry i really need to let this out...

So i'm 13 weeks pregnant with my first baby and the first grand baby on my side of the family. so of course everyone is overly excited about the baby. my mother in law (this is her second grand baby with the first being 13) she wants to buy the stroller but wants to bring me along to see what i like. super sweet of her! my dad has bought a few teddy bears which is adorable! but my mom... well shes is taking over everything. She told me that she is doing the baby book.. her reasoning is she did it for my brother and I so shes going to do it for the baby.. weird right.. and i'm not cool with it... Now she went behind my back and bought the crib.. she didn't even ask me if its OK it what i want or anything.  i know i should be appreciative but shes taking everything away from me. I'm even being told not to buy anything! so this mama to be is not happy at all right now... 

 

Re: over bearing mom...

  • I'm also expecting my first and it is the first grand baby for both my family and my husbands. Mother in law offered to buy us any and everything so we asked her to buy the crib. Any kind she wanted as long as it's the color we chose and as for my mom ugh she is the type to do what she wants and everyone else has to like it. So when she started buying random useless stuff I just gave her a small list of items she could buy if she wanted and the rest we wanted to pick and buy. She was super Ok with it after I explained why we wanted it this way. I know mom's are difficult but maybe just telling her this is your one opportunity to bond with your baby and buy the baby everything you want him or her to have and maybe she will respect you for that and let it be. Hope I helped :)
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  • Just send her my way....

    Seriously, have you told her how you feel? If she is insistent, maybe she could do a baby book and you can do your own. I didn't have time to do any sort of book so my child has none.

  • I think you need to just explain to her that things like picking out a crib and making a baby book are things that mothers look forward to doing. It sounds like she is trying to relive her own pregnancies and is just very excited about your child. Be appreciative but draw the line. You can take that crib back and buy a new one. I for one am really particular with my furniture and have standards for cribs - toxic material free, no mdf, etc. So maybe you can use something like that as an excuse for why you don't think it's the best option but are really thankful. 

    She can make you a sweet keepsake book if he wants. And you can make your own. No child has ever been traumatized by having two baby books :) I got the sweeeeetest one at Anthropology a few weeks ago. It is not babyish/tacky at all and so adorable. Maybe you and DH could get one like that to fill out because there is a lot of info your mom can't fill out. Like "why we chose your name" "how we found out you were on the way", etc. 

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Moms and MILs can be no fun during this special time :( I love my MIL but she has really gotten under my skin during pregnancy. For example, we told her about 10 weeks and the next week she swings by my office unannounced (she has never done this before) with a big bowl of fruit and a card about how excited she is for the baby. I had not told work yet and it was just really awkward and totally inappropriate. Thoughtful, but annoying. 
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • You need to stop being a doormat.  Tell your mom that you were her baby first and she is making this special time for you less enjoyable.  I would also tell her that she already got her chance to do a baby book and decorate the nursery.  Now it is your turn.  
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