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September 2014 Moms
WonderWomanAbbey
member
Oh, hi. Men, breakups, and hormones suck.
WonderWomanAbbey
member
I took a hiatus after my last post. Couldn't handle what everyone was saying. Mostly because it was the truth I couldn't face. But I deserved every bit, and I needed it.
Hubs cheated. Even if he wasn't sleeping with the 20 year old girl that he was hiding from me, lying and sneaking around is still cheating. To me, at least. And to him, if it was anyone else. He gave himself a pass for his own needs.
After it happened, I still blamed myself. I let him convince me that I had chased him away. That I had broken our family and that he needed a friend outside of me. That I would've "freaked out" if he had told me he'd made a female friend, so that's why he hid it. And I believed him. I threw myself right back into trying to make him happy. Cooking, cleaning, working on him at home (I'm a massage therapist) taking care of my SS while he went to the bar, went to poker games, did whatever he wanted. Sleeping with him, even if I wondered the whole time if he had been doing the same things with someone else. I felt sick with myself, and I did it anyway.
It was mentioned to me by my SS's mom a couple of weeks ago that she'd caught him sneaking around, "just talking" to some other girl when she was pregnant with Wesley. Then I really felt sick. That was something he'd never told me. But when I asked him, he admitted to it. Yes, he'd cheated on her while she was pregnant, "but that was five years ago, so who cares?" Well, I do. He clearly doesn't know what it means to be a partner. To be a man. Or a father.
I'm 38 weeks and 5 days now. I'm dilating, and as I type this, waiting outside of my ob's office to get checked again. I told him last Thursday that I was done. That he wasn't the man I would ever want to raise my child with. And I don't know what I'm going to do as far as where to live or how to get custody of my son. But you guys were all right to flame me. I was stupid and all of the things that I hate to do what I did. I thought I was choosing the high road. Putting my family first. But the man that got me pregnant hasn't been around since those two lines showed up. And he doesn't deserve me.
Hope everyone is doing well :-)
Hubs cheated. Even if he wasn't sleeping with the 20 year old girl that he was hiding from me, lying and sneaking around is still cheating. To me, at least. And to him, if it was anyone else. He gave himself a pass for his own needs.
After it happened, I still blamed myself. I let him convince me that I had chased him away. That I had broken our family and that he needed a friend outside of me. That I would've "freaked out" if he had told me he'd made a female friend, so that's why he hid it. And I believed him. I threw myself right back into trying to make him happy. Cooking, cleaning, working on him at home (I'm a massage therapist) taking care of my SS while he went to the bar, went to poker games, did whatever he wanted. Sleeping with him, even if I wondered the whole time if he had been doing the same things with someone else. I felt sick with myself, and I did it anyway.
It was mentioned to me by my SS's mom a couple of weeks ago that she'd caught him sneaking around, "just talking" to some other girl when she was pregnant with Wesley. Then I really felt sick. That was something he'd never told me. But when I asked him, he admitted to it. Yes, he'd cheated on her while she was pregnant, "but that was five years ago, so who cares?" Well, I do. He clearly doesn't know what it means to be a partner. To be a man. Or a father.
I'm 38 weeks and 5 days now. I'm dilating, and as I type this, waiting outside of my ob's office to get checked again. I told him last Thursday that I was done. That he wasn't the man I would ever want to raise my child with. And I don't know what I'm going to do as far as where to live or how to get custody of my son. But you guys were all right to flame me. I was stupid and all of the things that I hate to do what I did. I thought I was choosing the high road. Putting my family first. But the man that got me pregnant hasn't been around since those two lines showed up. And he doesn't deserve me.
Hope everyone is doing well :-)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Oh, hi. Men, breakups, and hormones suck.
First BPP 1.24.14
EDD 9.26.14
Baby Cooper John born on 9.24.14 6lbs9oz
*O17 June Siggy Challenge - You had 1 job!*
Gemma
born August 31, 2014
I'm thinking about moving from VA to OK near some family. My dad is excited about the idea, and there are a lot of reasons that it could be great. Get back to the slower, country life. Raise my son much more comfortably and safely since cost of living is soooo much lower. I feel guilty, but I also feel like it's the best move for me and my son.
I have been there and I was not strong enough to leave the first time around. You are doing the right thing and will have a much better and relaxing life without him around.
And as was said above, you will find the man that will treat you like everything you are worth and so much more and he is totally worth the wait. Good luck in this new chapter of your life.
I am so sorry you have to go through this but I am glad you are doing what is best for you and the baby.