Hi Ladies,
I'm mostly a lurker and have written in a few times. The short story is that H is a very grumpy guy, and is unkind at best, bullying at worst, especially to DS. I have worked with him on this with counseling, medication, my own modeling, educating on child development, etc., various methods of self control, etc. Etc. Nothing sticks. H nit picks, hollers, and acts completely rigid and inflexible with every interaction they have. Tonights argument between them was about turning pages in the bedtime story. The child is 3 years old for F sake, and H is 40.
DS is now telling me that he doesn't like Daddy, wants us to go away from him, and even while I'm there, wants very little involvement with him. My heart is breaking. I contemplate getting us away from this jerk, but honestly, I can't imagine sending my kids to him unsupervised for weekends, etc per a divorce decree. He may be grumpy and unpleasant, but he thinks he's trying to be a good dad, and would argue that pretense in court. At least I can keep my eye on things under one roof.
Does anyone have experience with a situation like this? No idea what to think, but my baby is hurting and I need to do something. Thanks for reading.

Re: Damned if I do/ don't
My mom stayed with my stepdad and tried so hard to protect us. She had no idea how bad it really was when I was alone with him.
I would start building your case - document document document - and have your therapist do the same. Then I would get in touch with a women's advocacy group and make an escape plan. I can only imagine how he is treating you. And if your son is only 3, it will only get worse I would imagine as he gets older.
Gosh, I'm sorry this is happening. I wish I had more advice but I only know what happened to us.
And the women's group can give you tips on how to safely document so that your hubby doesn't find it.
I hope others have some more advice for you.
Throwing leaves