For those who have or are having girls

hopeby2015 · September 2014

Have you looked into IF affecting your lo? We are having a girl and I've been wondering if there are any tests you could do to check for IF? Having walked this path, I really hope my lo doesn't have to go through this and I guess I'd like to be prepared in advance, if possible. Guess I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the subject and if you've done any research on it?

hopeby2015 · September 2014

I guess this could also apply to boys as well actually ..

AMShark · September 2014

I don't know the gender of my babies yet, but I have thought about this. I have also read that the very first baby ever conceived via IVF and her sister, also conceived via IVF have both given birth to babies without having any medical assistance with conception.

I think it's a misconception that children of parents with fertility issues will automatically inherit those issues. I suppose, depending on the cause of infertility, it's possible that there might be a genetic link that can be passed on. However, I believe there are so many different causes for IF and different factors contributing to IF, that you really can't predict that a problem will be passed on.

Do you know the cause of your infertility? If you're "reason unknown" like so many of us, I don't think you'll find any answers for DD either.

Mrs.McIrish · September 2014

I used donor eggs so my girls aren't getting my crappy ovarian cancer gene. But most IF isn't hereditary. If you had premature menopause and it runs in your family, maybe freezing eggs for a daughter is a good idea. But it's impossible to say what advances in medicine etc will be in 20+ years when our daughter may want to get pregnant.

chickyclg · September 2014

When the time comes we will be very open. I have some blood issues that they need to know about, and I need to research other things like is DOR hereditary for our little girl, and we had pretty bad MFI that our little boy needs to know about.

Hopefully they won't have to experience IF, but I feel if they know they were conceived with IVF it might be easier for them to come to us with questions they may have later on.

southernyankeegirl · September 2014

I will certainly educate my children on our infertility struggles (whether we struggle for #2 when the time comes or not). It may be something they consider as they get older, but I will also make it abundantly clear that it is NOT an excuse to use any less protection when they do engage in sexual activity. Exactly when you don't want a pregnancy seems to be when it's most likely to happen if you aren't safe.

I don't think most causes of infertility are hereditary, except perhaps for PCOS, fibroids, and POF. None of those are issues for me, but my Mom had cysts and fibroids so any daughter of mine will know that in case it ever becomes relevant.

Even still, the old truth that the only way to diagnose infertility is to try for a full year is still true for children of those with infertility. There is absolutely no way to know if your child will be infertile until they actually try to conceive.

Mostly I just hope to educate them in general on the range of experiences people have.

hopeby2015 · September 2014

To clarify, we also used donor eggs. And we don't know much about our donor medically due to local laws (abroad) and we are fine with that. I guess my concerns are less, is it hereditary and more like this affects 1 out of (I think something like) 1000 couples. I was just wondering if there was anyway to be on the lookout for it. Any testing that could be done in advance. So that we know what's coming up in the future - maybe setting aside some money for IF specifically, etc. And I know the technology and understanding of IF will change in the next 20+ years but I guess there's a part of me that wants to do more to be prepared.

gsancho · September 2014

I've also read mixed information about what sort of IF issues can be passed down and what cannot. But in general, most IF issues are not hereditary. The only thing I remember (since I have AMH and E2 problems) is that a few sites said E2 deficiency during pregnancy can lead to DOR problems...but some doctors didn't agree with that, so who knows.

Either way, I at least feel good that I know way more about fertility than most parents, so we can help educate our kids appropriately.

Margritli · September 2014

Our MFI is due to a microdeletion on the Y-chromosome, which means that 100% of male offspring with inherit IF. The thought of passing on our IF was really devastating at first. We considered PGD at the beginning for this reason, but decided against it for several reasons:

1. It is impossible to know what medical advances will be made in the next 30 - 40 years, which may make new therapies available.

2. We were uncomfortable with the idea of gender selection, which is what PGD would have come down to in our case.

3. There are many ways to lead a fulfilling life. Some with kids, some without. Maybe potential sons of ours will not even want to have children. And the hypothetical question posed to DH, "Would you rather have not been born than to have been born with this condition?" Clear answer: NO.

We don't know the genders of our little beans yet, but boys or girls, we will be open with them about our struggles when the time comes. It is important for me that they grow up accepting the idea that families are build in lots of ways, which for me includes LGBT families, single-parent families, families created through adoption, families built through 3rd party reproduction. I think this diversity is beautiful and want my children be exposed to this, too. "The old-fashion way" is only one way of building a family. IVF is another. I think if it is treated as a fact of life, it makes it easier to accept.

We will also not wait until our children are adults, but rather tell them early so that they can make career and life decisions armed with this knowledge. I think my DH and I would have been better equipped to face IF had we found out sooner, because we would have made crucial decisions very differently, knowing that we might never have children.

Margritli · September 2014

Forgot to add: We will be starting an IVF fund if it turns out that we are having boys, so that we can help them with potential IF costs, which hopefully by the time they are so old will be covered by insurance here.

Obviously, this is something we have talked and thought a lot about.

happygirl1013 · September 2014

My DH and I spoke about this because it's a concern for me. I don't want my little girl to suffer through undiagnosed pcos like I did. We plan on having out radar up big time for the warning signs when she gets close to puberty. I think awareness is half the battle, and we will be super sensitive to warning signs. As for my husbands issues, we sat down and spoke to his sister and her husband about their little boy (he's only 19 months). Because my dh and his sister have the same parents, therefore similar genetics, we wanted to do the right thing by providing them warning signs for what to look for when their kids enters puberty. I think we are one of the first generations that actually talks about infertility because it isn't taboo anymore. A do as long as we spread awareness to our families, hopefully the future generations won't have to go through (or at least as bad) the suffering or ambiguity we did of not knowing what is happening with our bodies or going undiagnosed.

beachy6 · September 2014

For me, my condition is hereditary. My mother had endo and had trouble conceiving both my brother and me. I am horribly scared about giving this awful condition to my daughter. Actually, the second thing I thought after we found out we were having a girl was me praying like mad that she wouldn't suffer like I have.

The only blessing for her is that I've been through it and I understand what to look for earlier on with endo, whereas my mom didn't know because not as much was known about the condition when I was a teenager and suffering.

I guess it depends on what your specific diagnosis is as to whether it can be passed down or not. Hopefully, it won't be a concern for many of you, as most issues aren't hereditary.

Lillovebug79 · September 2014

I worry about MFI if we have a son. Our RE said that my husband's MFI is genetic. What that would mean for our son, I don't know. But we would be very open and honest about our struggles with our children. Both my mother and sister have pretty bad endo, which I managed to escape. Neither of them had any trouble with conceiving but I will make my future daughter aware. At the very least, we will make them aware of potential issues.

cls78 · September 2014

Honestly, I haven't thought about this, but our IF was due to mild MFI and probably our age.

ttuprincess · September 2014

I definitely worry about this since one of my main issues was my Endo and it is hereditary. My maternal grandmother had to have a hysterectomy at 26 due to Endo and my mother had one at 40 for the same reason. I was really frustrated that this information wasn't given to me sooner about my family history. I definitely will tell my LO about it early enough that she can be proactive since I wasn't given that choice.

absolutelymaybe · September 2014

We have a girl AND a boy. I'm not concerned about our girl having IF issues (at least not the kind we had) since we were MFI. As for DH's issues, we don't know what caused them. It was kind of unexplained, so I guess it might affect our son, but I'm not sure there's anything we can do about it or look out for.

beachy6 · September 2014

@ttuprincess I told my DH that I wanted to be open early on and even mention freezing her eggs early in her 20's...he thinks I'm nuts, but I'm very serious! I'd even pay since the guilt I'd have from passing it on would be immense.

pmpknbride · September 2014

I inherited PCOS from my mother, while she had all the symptoms and the dx she did not suffer from IF as her dr predicted she would, I was not so lucky. My sister did not inherit it, so I know if I have a girl it is not a guarantee that she will have it, but I will definitely pay attention to any warning signs...obviously I cannot prevent it, but I will make sure that she has all the knowledge and support she needs to make decisions...i did not have this support from my mother as she kept telling me not to worry since she had no problems she assumed I'd have no problem. My mother also experienced early menopause, so we possibly have that to contend with too - my daughter will definitely be informed about IF before she is even thinking of starting a family so she has all of the information and is prepared.

SKLH · September 2014

I've thought of this several times... I even brought it up to DH recently. HOnestly, if my endometriosis does get passed to her, at least I know what to do to help her. I WILL say I started with BADDDDDD cramps to the point that I needed to miss school when I was in 6th grade however NO doctor even thought of endometriosis or talked to me about it until I was married and TTC for over a year. By then, the endo had completely destroyed my tubes. Years of damange! Now I know what to look for in my daughter. Other than that, not much else I can do!

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For those who have or are having girls

Re: For those who have or are having girls

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Want a personalized experience?

For those who have or are having girls

Re: For those who have or are having girls

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Choose Another Board

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Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!