Why do I feel sadder now?

mpiemont · September 2014

.2:0.0.0.0.0">Is it "normal" to be more sad/crying more about my miscarriage now that I'm pregnant again? Is it hormones? I cannot stop crying. ALL.THE.TIME. I was having way more good days than bad days recently, and now it seems that being pregnant again has brought out so much more emotion. Did anyone else go through a rough patch very early on in their rainbow pregnancy? (I'm 5w6d).

LaRomana09 · September 2014

I'm not much further ahead than you, and I don't know if it is normal, but I was really sad and crying a lot from the time I found out I was pregnant until my first US at 7 weeks. I think it was mostly anxiety, which I still feel, but it's calmed down quite a bit. The day I turned 6 weeks, my best friend called and told me she was pregnant and I sobbed for a good part of the day. (((((HUGS))))) I hope it gets better soon for you.

carlsonbaby2014 · September 2014

Yes, absolutely! You are not alone in feeling this way. I felt huge bouts of sadness, grief for my previous losses, guilt to be pregnant again, guilt for feeling guilty about being pregnant and not allowing myself to feel joy, anxiety and fear of the unknown.

For me, it helped to remind myself that we, as humans, are capable of feeling conflicting emotions simultaneously. I tried not to judge myself for these feelings and honestly take it one moment at a time. It helped a lot not to look too far into the future because it caused me so much anxiety to do so. When I found myself wandering in "what if" land, I tried to bring myself out of it and focus on the present. Neither space felt safe, but at least I couldn't argue with what was present. So, so, so many ((((HUGS)))). If you have someone you trust to just listen to you IRL, I suggest talking some of it out. For me, that was my therapist - getting it out there and having my feelings validated helped tremendously.

goldengirl84 · September 2014

((Hugs)) sweetie! I'm sure it's normal. Maybe a combination of all your emotions together? I feel like it's even harder to find a balance when you want to just be happy but you still feel that sadness. Sometimes I cry just from being overwhelmed. I don't even know how to feel.

KMW08 · September 2014

((Hugs))

I think for me it's still a sort of grief process. I had a lot of tears from 12-14weeks. Some were in disbelief that this might actually happen. Some were for others who are still ttcal. Some were for myself and all the guilt/grief I put on myself. It's hard to explain, but I think it's normal.

rox825 · September 2014

I'm sorry that you're feeling sad. I do think it's normal. I'm 32 weeks along now and I just had a cry session before my shower for this baby on Saturday because I was sad that I didn't get the chance to celebrate my first in that way. Sending lots of hugs!

Samuelismomma · September 2014

I think it is normal. Beginning of this pregnancy I was crying all the time over my losses. I think a combination of loss, fear and anxiety...sending big hugs..

peggels24 · September 2014

((hugs))

megbmeg · September 2014

carlsonbaby2014 said:

Yes, absolutely! You are not alone in feeling this way. I felt huge bouts of sadness, grief for my previous losses, guilt to be pregnant again, guilt for feeling guilty about being pregnant and not allowing myself to feel joy, anxiety and fear of the unknown.

For me, it helped to remind myself that we, as humans, are capable of feeling conflicting emotions simultaneously. I tried not to judge myself for these feelings and honestly take it one moment at a time. It helped a lot not to look too far into the future because it caused me so much anxiety to do so. When I found myself wandering in "what if" land, I tried to bring myself out of it and focus on the present. Neither space felt safe, but at least I couldn't argue with what was present. So, so, so many ((((HUGS)))). If you have someone you trust to just listen to you IRL, I suggest talking some of it out. For me, that was my therapist - getting it out there and having my feelings validated helped tremendously.

Yes, this! I'm sorry you're feeling so much sorrow right now. I definitely got hit hard a few times by sadness over my losses after getting this BFP and sometimes after having good check ups. I often felt heartbroken at the thought that, Oh, this is what was supposed to be happening before. And I struggled to deal with the impossible feelings of wanting this new baby so much and yet also wanting my other babies and knowing that I can't. I agree with @carlsonbaby2014 that it's important, if you can, to give yourself some grace over whatever you feel - all of the sorrow, fear, joy, heartbreak, and hope bundled together. It is so hard to feel it, but it is okay to be feeling it.

Hugs to you!!

arschm02 · September 2014

I remember sobbing the day before I got my BFP. Sobbing and imagining I was holding one of the little ones I lost. I just couldn't control it! I was incredibly emotional and exhausted. The emotions were so strong that I couldn't help but wonder if just maybe I was pregnant. I took a test at 2 a.m. the next morning and it was a fairly quick strong positive. Emotions run so much higher in pregnancy from the hormones, plus, you're being put in essentially the same situation as you were in before and having to face the miscarriage risk daily. I'm sure it's normal. I've found that at almost 8 weeks I'm still incredibly emotional but it's easing up a bit. Good luck.

asglover514 · September 2014

*hugs* it's hard and hormones don't make it any better, I still have my bad days but soon you'll have more good than bad and when you do, don't feel bad or guilty because you're not forgetting just coping. I hope you can feel better soon

Yaz14 · September 2014

For me to be honest getting pregnant again has helped a lot. I don't think I've cried over my loss since I found out I'm pregnant again, although there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it. However it's totally normal to be feeling more emotional over your loss now that you're pregnant again. Being pregnant again obviously brings back a lot of memories. If you feel sad and want to cry then cry. In the days after my mc I cried my eyes out all the time. There's nothing wrong with that. I remember my cousin who had a loss saying to me that when she had her mc she tried to act as if it didn't happen and tried not to think about it. When she became pregnant again only a few months later she found herself crying uncontrollably over the loss of her previous baby. But she assured me that it was a good thing as she felt she was finally able to grieve. Do what feels natural to you. Grief hits everyone differently and at different times.

jap618 · September 2014

(((Hugs))) yes this is definitely normal and as others have stated part of the process. Everyone handles it differently so please be kind to yourself ♡

summerbld2 · September 2014

I do cry as well. We named the child we lossed London - even though we are happy to have this new baby growing inside of us (7w2d) my husband will still find himself holding me while I cry about how I miss London, the baby I will never get to hold. It is a weird thing to grieve one moment for one child and celebrate the other for the future of your current child. Part pregnancy hormones, part human, part being women, for me accounts for all my tears! Hugs to you hun!

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Why do I feel sadder now?

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Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

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Want a personalized experience?

Why do I feel sadder now?

Re: Why do I feel sadder now?

Began trying for a baby January 2012BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

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Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014