So mad, maybe even irrationally so. Vent

aesf · September 2014

I'm so pissed right now. I can't sleep because I'm so nauseous. I'm nauseous because i forgot my diclegis before bed. Turns out I'm out so I just hit an all night pharmacy (so I'll be able to sleep soon I hope). But I'm just so pissed right now. I miss my meds by like 2 hours and I'm an effing mess.

Over a year ago while I was still pregnant I brought up a tubal to my midwife. She blew me off and pushed essure on me. I don't want that. I want. A tubal. Then at my 6 week she did it again. Then 4 weeks later my dr. Did the same thing. Now I didn't advocate for myself enough but if one of them had listened to me I would friggin be pregnant right now. I love this baby. I'm happy about this baby but i am not happy in pregnant. I had HG to 28 weeks TWICE. The first time I lost 30 pounds and couldn't eat certain foods for 4 months pp. I STILL get nauseating, sweat inducing flashbacks to that pregnancy. The second I lost 20 and was severely depressed because I felt I was neglecting my toddler. I could barely shower. I didn't want to be ever again and frankly we cannot afford it, oh and I still have a GD baby. She's not even 1 and I'm in 2nd tri.

I brought a tubal up to my midwife, again, she blew me off again about essure. Which sucks because 1. She's a personal friend and 2. Other than this she is amazing. So I made an appt with a new dr (I hated my old dr. He was the worst). She blew me off about essure even after I interrupted "oh. A tubal? We do a procedure..." With "yes I know. Essure". She contributed and wouldn't discuss the tubal except to day it's to dangerous to perform after delivery. Yea. That must be why 1. Plenty of c section patients get them and 2. 1/4 of the number one delivery hospital in state's vaginal patients get one. How do I know this? My best friend delivers babies there. She wants me to transfer practices.

So now I have a choice - change hospitals, change drs, change practices and actually be listened to or not. Well I'm pissed. Because I like my midwife, and I like her nurses. They are sweet and kind and love my kids. They birthed my kids.

There was no point to this I'm just up and angry.

/vent

crunchymamaof2 · September 2014

I'm sorry. I considered the ensure but it's just too new for me and my friend said there have been a few issues now popping up. Are you really young? I think it's a bit ridiculous that two providers brushed you off. I would definitely consider switching providers, or at least seeking out an opinion of one from your friend's hospital. Is a vasectomy for your husband an option?

aesf · September 2014

Yes he would which I appreciate but this is about me. Pregnancy is really hard on my body so I want to close up shop for me, if that makes sense. Like if something ever happened to him a future partner would know I'm dune. I know it sounds kind of dumb but it's something I need psychologically.

I'm 30 with 2 kids and one on the way. I'm not ama but I'm no spring chicken either.

I'm less mad today. I'm still upset about it but in not overcome with anger.

I'm with you essure is really new in not into being in, what is essentially, the test group for it.

Skrittens · September 2014

@aesf‌ - I am sorry that you are going through this. Can you stay with your current group for delivery and then a different doc for the tubal (I am ignorant in this area).

My cousin got a tubal at 30 - and she had no children. She was just sure she didn't want any. The dr made her write an essay on why she didn't want children and go through psychological testing before the procedure - to avoid malpractice I guess. 10 years later my cousin is still happy with the choice.

Maybe your mw and dr are worried about malpractice? Good luck finding the medical professional that listens to and cares for you.

crunchymamaof2 · September 2014

I totally get what you're saying. I would keep fighting. Your body, your choice.

createmagic14 · September 2014

saucylittlemonkeygirl said:

I would totally change practitioners... this is ridiculous! I told my first OB that I wanted a tubal ligation once the C-section was complete and he told me he wouldn't do it as I am too young (I'm 37 years old FFS!). I told him I would go somewhere else and he told me that no doctor in their right mind would do this for me. I found somebody else and she's has no issues with it.

I wish people would stop telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies. I doubt men encounter this bullshit when they say they want a vasectomy.

Definitely agree that you should find a new dr. Your body.

My dad had a hell of a time getting a vasectomy. But he was 23. However, he was 23 with 3 under 4, two of whom (bother the oldest, me, and the youngest) were "surprises." It took 5 (!) doctors before he found one that would do it. He was like, I am NEVER having anymore kids...UNLESS YOU REFUSE TO DO THIS!

Whitfry · September 2014

I would be honest with your midwife - let her know that you really like her, but if she refuses to acknowledge your wishes, you will have to find another practitioner. Tubals are not procedures that midwives typically do. It would require an MD for the actual procedure.

It sounds like this is a decision you have thought out thoroughly and are very confident about. You're not some kid making a rash decision, you are a grown woman who knows her options and knows what she wants for her own body. That deserves to be respected. If your current care provider refuses to listen to you, find someone who will.

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So mad, maybe even irrationally so. Vent

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