Shit my kid says...

dmartin726 · September 2014

I pick DD up from preK and she's singing a song..

Praise my mamaaaa, praise my mamaaaaa.

I tell her that's a really nice song. So she says, "thanks, why are your boobies so big?" (what!?? Where did that come from..I don't even have big boobs)

So I said, "we don't really like to talk about boobies. It's not nice to talk about privates.."

She then said....

"you and daddy have big boobies and you were wiggling them in the shower". WTF!!!

First of all, she has never seen us in the shower together "wiggling boobies"

Second of all, if she says this stuff at PreK I will be mortified!!

Disneygeek77 · September 2014

I mentioned this inthe FFFC, but DS3 has been calling me a cougar. He thinks it sounds funny and I doubt he knows that it is a real word. He also say MACdonalds. Oh and a few months ago he used to go around singing "I dick around, I dick around, I dick around I dick around." Again, no idea where he got it from or if he was trying to say stick around.

dmartin726 · September 2014

Kimbus22 said:

The other day I asked Joey if he was going to pick up the things he threw. He ignored me. I told him he could pick them up or go in timeout.

He responded by actually rolling his eyes and saying "Whatever." Then he burst out laughing and said, "Mommy! I did pretend to be Daddy!"

Mallory can't talk. But when DH asked her if she wanted pizza, she did go "gaaaahaaaabaaaa!" and try to fling herself into his arms.

(FTR, no I am not feeding my not even 4 month old pizza. We just think it's funny that she has zero interest in anything we're holding unless it's food.)

Oh my god, Joey is the same. When we eat he gives us the total stare down. He's gonna be an eater lol

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

Dds new thing is when I tell her its time to do something she doesn't want to do, she runs to her room,jumps in bed and pretends to be asleep complete with fake snore. She is such an actress. Lol

ababymaybe · September 2014

the other day, my almost 3 year old said "my bum is getting bigger mommy! Just like yours is getting bigger!". Er, what?

kellyfo14 · September 2014

My DD4 says "Awwww nuts!" when something doesn't go her way in a game or building a tower... Also, last night DS3 was eating dinner and DH said, "Paul, every time you put something in your mouth something else ends up on the floor." To which DS said ,"That's what my teacher says!!!"

raraavis28 · September 2014

Well, like I mentioned in the FFFC thread, my kid actually says "shit" these days....

Speaking of bathroom stuff, they both say "icky poop!" and laugh hysterically, and when one of them farts they say "ewwww!" really loudly and laugh. Boys lol.

fancynewbeesly · September 2014

Maybe TMI:

Reese has been constipated this week. So we were with my brother yesterday and she was just rambling on. She then told us that she didn't want to poop. The reason why:

"Because I don't want poop stuck in my 'gina"

I think we need an anatomy lesson kid.

vlagrl29 · September 2014

DD did something that disturbed me today. She took one of her play spoons and dragged it across my neck and told me she cut off my head! I asked her where she learned that? She told me "it's ok mama, it's just pretend." Followed by - "you will go to bed tonight and grow a new head, like a lizard"…..wtf?

dmartin726 · September 2014

vlagrl29 said:
DD did something that disturbed me today. She took one of her play spoons and dragged it across my neck and told me she cut off my head! I asked her where she learned that? She told me "it's ok mama, it's just pretend." Followed by - "you will go to bed tonight and grow a new head, like a lizard"…..wtf?

Oh my gosh, lock your bedroom door tonight. No, haha I'm kidding. But that's weird! The other day DD said she was so mad at me she was going to rip my face off... I don't know where they get this stuff lol.

vlagrl29 · September 2014

dmartin726 said:

DD did something that disturbed me today. She took one of her play spoons and dragged it across my neck and told me she cut off my head! I asked her where she learned that? She told me "it's ok mama, it's just pretend." Followed by - "you will go to bed tonight and grow a new head, like a lizard"…..wtf?
Oh my gosh, lock your bedroom door tonight. No, haha I'm kidding. But that's weird! The other day DD said she was so mad at me she was going to rip my face off... I don't know where they get this stuff lol.

Right?!?! It totally freaked me out, especially about how she was laughing about it. She has a tendency to fib. When I ask her how she hears about things, she always says "nana" (my mom), but I know that's not true, then she said spiderman. She must have a crazy imagination. I told DH about it and he couldn't believe it.

Beth.1212 · September 2014

DS isn't very verbal, but does this count? The other night he ate a big dinner, and when we were changing him into his pj's I rubbed his belly and said "Who has a big belly?" Usually he rubs his own tummy when I say that. Tonight, he smiled and rubbed my belly! (I'm in my early 2nd trimester with LO #2.) Gee, thanks little guy! Guess he's noticing that Mom's belly is getting big. DH and I both had to laugh.

vlagrl29 · September 2014

gwapes said:

Ahhh @vlagrl29 Have you seen the buzzfeed thing about creepy things kids say? Lol

no I haven't, but now I need to!

spring_time · September 2014

DD is still not talking at all :-( but it is clear as day what she wants. When she is hungry, she wanders around the house saying "Mmmm, Mmmmm" She even raids the pantry and brings us the food she wants while saying "Mmmm, Mmmmm" Then she gets so excited, she grins and bounces up and down until we give it to her.

I asked DS what was wrong the other day. He gave a big sigh and his responded, "Nothing, I am just exasperated."

chelseymat · September 2014

The other day we picked my mom up for lunch. I made a quick stop at the post office and ran in while my mom sat with the kids. DS1 told my mom "grandma, mommy is driving me nuts" and DS2 chimed in "yeah she's making us nuts" LOL when I came out of the post office my mom was crying she was laughing so hard.

likeanoldtimemovie · September 2014

vlagrl29 said:
DD did something that disturbed me today. She took one of her play spoons and dragged it across my neck and told me she cut off my head! I asked her where she learned that? She told me "it's ok mama, it's just pretend." Followed by - "you will go to bed tonight and grow a new head, like a lizard"…..wtf?

When DS was about three, we were riding in the car and he kept reaching for DH in the driver's seat and snapping back into his car seat. DH told him to stop and DS, with his arms outstretched, said "BUT I WANT YOUR HEAD."

We all laughed and I said "what are you going to do with daddy's head?"

He put his arms down, looked out the window and said "gonna pop it off and put it in my closet".

We all quit laughing after that...

bumpuser924057 · September 2014

The other day DS was sitting down at lunch and out of nowhere started saying "We have to get that black guy out of there! He can't be in there! Get that black guy out!" And I was kind of panicky, thinking that I was going to have to have an uncomfortable conversation about race while also finding out who would have taught him to say something like that...and then when I asked him who he was talking about, I found out it was THIS black guy. Whew.

Edited to add photo from Google Images because my iPad apparently doesn't want to upload anything anymore.

spring_time · September 2014

We were at the zoo looking at the rhinoceros. DS kept saying that a rhinoceros blows fire like a dragon. We tried talking him out of it and asking him where he heard that, but he was insistent. A few days later, I was grilling and DS says, "See, Mommy, I told you. I told you a rhinoceros blows fire" The propane tank is Blue Rhinoceros, and sure enough, there were flames coming out of his horn.

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