changing name post-birth?

giggler25 · September 2014

Has anybody changed their LO's name after they were born? Specifically, I am thinking of adding a second middle name for my DD. DH and I have different last names BC I never changed my name when I got married. I thought I might change it (or at least hyphenate) once we had kids, but I honestly don't see that happening as we've been married for 5 years now and I'm attached to my name! But it is bothering me more than I thought that DD and I do not share a name. So, I was thinking of adding my last name (only 4 letters) as a second middle name for her. Not sure of logistics though with SS or Birth Certificate as I haven't looked into it yet. Just wondering if anyone else did this by chance?

haylo33 · September 2014

I don't have any advice on how to do it but I thought I would share my experience. My mom was remarried and it was very difficult having a different last name. I know with this day and age it shouldn't matter, but it did bother me that people assumed she never married my dad or when kids would ask why it was different.

usernewname · September 2014

No advice really.

I changed my last name after getting married and it was quite the identity crisis for a good while. 3 years later I still have brain lapses.

But I'm glad I did. Dh felt I should because we are a family and we should share. I'm glad I did and have never thought twice about it. But that's just me.

You're a family regardless.

bazingaa · September 2014

No idea how you would go about doing it. Hate to say it, but it would probably be easier to change yours. Not sure if that sways things any - aka you are looking for the easier of two options. I just know it was a breeze when I changed mine after we got married.

babyaotw · September 2014

Scotty138 said:
When I got married, I didn't want to lose my maiden name, so I kept it as a second middle name. It is on my social security card, but I don't use it for any other purposes really. I just didn't want to get rid of it.

I don't have any advice for a baby, but I assume you would just request a name change with social security but the birth certificate would stay the same.

I did the same thing. My maiden name doesn't really get acknowledged, except on my SS card.

danabsd · September 2014

bazinga++ said:

No idea how you would go about doing it. Hate to say it, but it would probably be easier to change yours. Not sure if that sways things any - aka you are looking for the easier of two options. I just know it was a breeze when I changed mine after we got married.

How so? She has a DL, credit cards, legal documents, email addresses, etc. The baby has a SS card. Change one thing or change all the things?

usernewname · September 2014

danabsd said:

bazinga++ said:

No idea how you would go about doing it. Hate to say it, but it would probably be easier to change yours. Not sure if that sways things any - aka you are looking for the easier of two options. I just know it was a breeze when I changed mine after we got married.

How so? She has a DL, credit cards, legal documents, email addresses, etc. The baby has a SS card. Change one thing or change all the things?

Because assuming a name is easier as all you need is a marriage certificate.

To legally change a name is more paperwork and processing. Although in Canada it's easier to change a baby's name in the first year. After that it's more of a process.

So probably no one way is easier really.

gutsysneakers · September 2014

I never took my husband's last name either and we've been married for two years now - I don't plan to do so in the future. DD has my husband's last name. I didn't feel the need to put my name in, but if you feel like your baby should have a part of your last name, do it. Don't change your last name if you don't want to - its your identity.

My MIL did the same thing and she was constantly called Mrs. (her husband's last name). I'm fine if DD's friends do that when she is older.

Start here: https://faq.ssa.gov/ics/support/kbanswer.asp?QuestionID=3749 and https://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-change-your-childs-name_3641846.bc?page=1

operaghost · September 2014

When I got married I made my maiden name my middle name, dropped my birth middle name altogether, and took DH's last name. My baby has the same middle name as me (ie, my maiden name). Maybe think about doing that? Two middle names seems cumbersome IMO.

Katrinamu · September 2014

I may have some information. Our DD's first name was spelled wrong on her birth cert and SS card. Because it's just the first name and not the last name, it's super easy. I'm assuming adding a middle name would be just as easy. We printed an Affidavit for Birth Certificate correction from our county's Vital Statics page, then just fill out the name you want and mail it in. We just did it so I'm not yet sure if they'll automatically send a new SS card. I'm assuming they will. I hope this helps!

spinsoffresonance · September 2014

usernewname said:

danabsd said:

bazinga++ said:

No idea how you would go about doing it. Hate to say it, but it would probably be easier to change yours. Not sure if that sways things any - aka you are looking for the easier of two options. I just know it was a breeze when I changed mine after we got married.

How so? She has a DL, credit cards, legal documents, email addresses, etc. The baby has a SS card. Change one thing or change all the things?

Because assuming a name is easier as all you need is a marriage certificate.

To legally change a name is more paperwork and processing. Although in Canada it's easier to change a baby's name in the first year. After that it's more of a process.

So probably no one way is easier really.

I'm sure this varies by state but is not true here in Massachusetts. I didn't take DH's name when we got married. My mariage certificate lists my name after mariage as my maiden name. I decided to change my name now to have the same last name as the kids. Couldn't use the mariage certificate alone, I had to go to probate court and petition for a legal name change. It wasn't hard, just downloaded the forms online, filled them out and dropped them off at the courthouse along with my birth certificate and mariage certificate. Supposedly they're sending me the court order in the mail, I'm still waiting.

Personally I wouldn't go with 2 middle names, I find it pretentious, but that's just my opinion!

giggler25 · September 2014

Katrinamu said:

I may have some information. Our DD's first name was spelled wrong on her birth cert and SS card. Because it's just the first name and not the last name, it's super easy. I'm assuming adding a middle name would be just as easy. We printed an Affidavit for Birth Certificate correction from our county's Vital Statics page, then just fill out the name you want and mail it in. We just did it so I'm not yet sure if they'll automatically send a new SS card. I'm assuming they will. I hope this helps!

Thanks for the info! I have heard that "corrections" like this are super easy.... not sure that additions fall into that category but I guess it's worthwhile to find out!!

giggler25 · September 2014

lica001 said:

bazinga++ said:

No idea how you would go about doing it. Hate to say it, but it would probably be easier to change yours. Not sure if that sways things any - aka you are looking for the easier of two options. I just know it was a breeze when I changed mine after we got married.

How so? She has a DL, credit cards, legal documents, email addresses, etc. The baby has a SS card. Change one thing or change all the things? Because assuming a name is easier as all you need is a marriage certificate. To legally change a name is more paperwork and processing. Although in Canada it's easier to change a baby's name in the first year. After that it's more of a process. So probably no one way is easier really.
I'm sure this varies by state but is not true here in Massachusetts. I didn't take DH's name when we got married. My mariage certificate lists my name after mariage as my maiden name. I decided to change my name now to have the same last name as the kids. Couldn't use the mariage certificate alone, I had to go to probate court and petition for a legal name change. It wasn't hard, just downloaded the forms online, filled them out and dropped them off at the courthouse along with my birth certificate and mariage certificate. Supposedly they're sending me the court order in the mail, I'm still waiting.
Personally I wouldn't go with 2 middle names, I find it pretentious, but that's just my opinion!

I think I read somewhere that changing your last name for marriage is easy within 2 years; requires court after that time period. We've been married for 5 years so I'd be in the latter bucket. But, for a few reasons I just don't know that I want to change my last name.....

Ugh decision making is not usually my strong suit (hence why I'm in this position to begin with), but is even harder with hormones!

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