Insight on which state to deliver

heltoncl · September 2014

So here is my scenario: I'm a military spouse, 18 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I are here in Oklahoma temporarily (will be relocating back to Texas in January where his more long term duty station will be). I'm due around February 12. My prenatal care has obviously all been here in Oklahoma and I do really like my OB. We are building a house in Texas that will be completed in December around the 22nd, and we will actually be visiting for a couple weeks to get some new furniture picked out, start the nursery, and get basic necessities before the rest of our stuff comes with us in January. January 22 is when we should be clear to leave Oklahoma and officially travel back to Texas to permanently relocate, and again my due date is February 12. With this being said, I have two options. I can either (depending upon finding a doctor or CNM that will accept patients late) deliver in Texas but this would mean switching doctors at 7 or 8 months pregnant, and making the ten hour drive to relocate at 7 or 8 months pregnant however I would be able to nest in our new home and bring the baby home to it. My other option is to stay in Oklahoma from January 22-whenever the baby ends up coming and more than likely be bringing the baby back to a hotel and then actually relocating with a newborn. My preference is to move to Texas and then have the baby but also to play it by ear in case I just don't feel comfortable to travel for that amount of time that far along. Aside from the logistical situations involving switching doctors, are there any second+ time moms with insight on how they might consider this situation based on their experiences? Would you rate it being more difficult to travel ten hours 3-4 weeks from your due date or relocating AFTER just having a newborn? And if you are more willing to relocate after the birth, how long would you recommend waiting? At this point and how we have discussed it with my doctor, my best bet is to play it by ear to see how I am feeling when I am further along but I would still really love to hear input from anyone willing!

chickyclg · September 2014

Personally I would prefer to just make the move, that way you can get somewhat settled before the baby comes

Dani_Love · September 2014

I agree, I would move first. My SIL moved at 9 months and was totally fine NC to OK.

dreamof2 · September 2014

Tough call. Personally I would be a little apprehensive about changing doctors that late in the game. On that note, your doctor plays a very small role in the delivery of your baby. For my first, i did all of my pushing prior to the doctor even coming in the room.

As for traveling with a newborn, it really depends on the baby. My DS has always been a champ in the car. I have friends whose babies scream the entire time they're strapped in. Obviously you won't know until the baby is here.

As a STM, I would start looking for a Dr. In Texas now. I would much rather come home to my nice new house than having a big move to worry about after the baby came.

As you can tell from my stream of consciousness, I can be indecisive:)

jennjilljo · September 2014

I vote move first.

The way I see it is if you drive with a newborn there will be lots of diaper stops and feeding stops, not to mention stops for you to get around and move so that stitches don't become a problem the drive will be a lot longer than expected. I didn't travel with DS until he was 5 months old and it still took an extra hour. You would, also, have a home to bring baby back to that s safe and familiar for you which will help make things easier for him/her.

kris101983 · September 2014

Texas...you will want to be settled before the baby comes and really tired with a newborn after. Plus depending on the delivery may be really sore and traveling isn't going to help.

CatLadyTX · September 2014

Move first. You don't know what your delivery situation will be, if you need a c/s, you won't feel up for moving any time after delivery. Also, as a frequent hotel guest I can say we do our best to stop DS from being noisy. I'd worry that the newborn would be too noisy and disturb the other hotel guests.
You also have to consider this, you will need follow up visits with your OB and you will need to settle on a pediatrician. It would be silly to find and love a pedi for newborn care in OK and then have to start over with a new pedi in TX.

heltoncl · September 2014

I'm glad I posted this! I have been significantly preferring the idea of moving first but it was all based on assumptions rather than experience so this really does help. Thanks everyone!

HeyStVincent · September 2014

My gut reaction was to tell you to stay, but then when I thought about it for a second, I think it makes the most sense to move beforehand. Yeah, it kinda sucks, but if you have a complicated delivery (think C-section) you'll want to be where your home is and will NOT want to be in a hotel. Not to mention with a recovering C-section you probably don't want to be traveling long distances either.

Probably best to go to TX.

Good luck!

AshleySparkle720 · September 2014

I'm moving from NC to MN and I'll be 7 months.

it's gonna be much easier to move before than after. Especially with your stuff. IMO bringing a baby into a nice clean home is always a better choice than a hotel.

jmcgra06 · September 2014

I would move first, too, but I drove 6 hours to my parents house when DD was 10 days old, and it really was NBD. Easier then than it is now...

lilybug319 · September 2014

We were almost in this exact situation! We're moving from NC to TX. I would move first. It's too hard to travel long distances with a newborn and @CatLadyTX‌ hit the head on the nail as far as a new pedi is concerned.

I moved to a different state at 37 weeks with DD and I didn't even get to meet my new OB til I was in labor the next week. She was only there for 10 minutes. And I had no issues getting the OB set up so late in my pregnancy.

Beth.1212 · September 2014

I'm with the rest of the ladies - I'd much rather move first. Just handling a newborn is enough to keep you busy, you don't need to be worried about moving too.

heltoncl · September 2014

Awesome, thank you all for your input! I was on board to move first until a convo I had the other day with a friend who said she couldn't even go 20 minutes in a car when she was 7 or 8 months pregnant so I started to question everything. Now I feel at ease again.

animalcrckr · September 2014

I was in a similar situation when pregnant with DS2. We moved from Alaska to Texas in my 3rd trimester. I did not have the option of staying since I would of been by myself with a crazy toddler and no family. I was considered high risk since DS1 was born at 35 weeks so I was even more nervous about moving that late in the game. My AK OB wrote a letter to get my RNLT date moved up by 6 weeks. It's hectic but I would rather give birth in the state where I'm living.

I know it depends on location, but a lot of military healthcare is similar to a socialized setting. Depending on what city in TX your going to, you may not have the option of what doctor you see. I'm assuming your receiving civilian care now?

ConstanceGoodspeed · September 2014

First babies are often late, too. You could be stuck in OK until closer to the end of February waiting for baby to come.

I went to more dr appointments (for both baby and me) in the immediate days and weeks following birth than I did in the weeks leading up to birth. Baby needs to be seen one week after birth, then he wasn't gaining as quickly as they wanted so we went back 3 days later, then a week after that, then I had a 6 week follow up with the midwife, etc.

You should move before.

heltoncl · September 2014

Fortunately I switched to tricare standard after getting pregnant because I couldn't stand how they handled prenatal care at the post hospital. So I do have more options in that sense, but it won't be a military doctor who sees me which might make the transition a little more tricky than the alternative but it really does sound worth moving forward and putting all my effort into finding someone willing to facilitate it. Thank you all again!

animalcrckr · September 2014

heltoncl said:

Fortunately I switched to tricare standard after getting pregnant because I couldn't stand how they handled prenatal care at the post hospital. So I do have more options in that sense, but it won't be a military doctor who sees me which might make the transition a little more tricky than the alternative but it really does sound worth moving forward and putting all my effort into finding someone willing to facilitate it. Thank you all again!

Yes, I think that would make it much more difficult to find a doctor and pediatrician that close to your due date. I would probably stay then if you have family support where you are now.

heltoncl · September 2014

animalcrckr said:

heltoncl said:

Fortunately I switched to tricare standard after getting pregnant because I couldn't stand how they handled prenatal care at the post hospital. So I do have more options in that sense, but it won't be a military doctor who sees me which might make the transition a little more tricky than the alternative but it really does sound worth moving forward and putting all my effort into finding someone willing to facilitate it. Thank you all again!

Yes, I think that would make it much more difficult to find a doctor and pediatrician that close to your due date. I would probably stay then if you have family support where you are now.

Yes and while I have considered this, and as I actually have no family out here let alone close friends as this was a very short term move for my husbands training, I'm still going to move forward and research whether I can find a doctor willing to facilitate or not and go from there. If I do, then I will definitely be planning on moving first at this point.

Meanwhile I'm going to keep an open mind in case anything unexpected pops up.

Kayla*Marie · September 2014

Move first! As others have said, you'll want to set up and moving is much easier with baby in your belly! Having to sit in a car if/when you are sore from labor/birth (not to mention if you tear!) would be horrible.

heltoncl · September 2014

So since the consensus is move first, now my question is- when did it become fairly/entirely too uncomfortable (if at all) to travel or be in a car? Again it's a 10 hour drive but we could potentially break it up into two trips. Thanks again!

sleepymama29 · September 2014

I moved from PA to NC when I was 7 months pregnant for a new job. I started looking into new OBs before I even got here and a surprising number were willing to take me that far along. It wasn't an option for me to wait until after delivery but it really wasn't that difficult moving when I was that pregnant. I would imagine making the move a few weeks after delivery to be very difficult and would recommend doing it before

sleepymama29 · September 2014

heltoncl said:
So since the consensus is move first, now my question is- when did it become fairly/entirely too uncomfortable (if at all) to travel or be in a car? Again it's a 10 hour drive but we could potentially break it up into two trips. Thanks again!

To follow up with my previous comment. We went back to PA for my baby shower a month before my due date and the 8 hour drive was not bad at all. Just make sure to stop frequently to walk around. Make sure you stay hydrated too. My OBs biggest thing about the long travel that far along was sitting for an extended period of time so he recommended frequent stops!

heltoncl · September 2014

Thanks again everyone!

WanderingA · September 2014

As everyone else has already stated - move first!! I moved into a new house (though only 1/2 hour from where we were living) ONE WEEK before I gave birth to my daughter and I'm so glad we were already there. I can't imagine moving with a newborn when all you want to do is lounge on the couch in your pajamas!

As far as traveling, I never really had any discomfort but I didn't take any really long car trips in my third trimester. Just make sure that you stop every few hours on the ride so that you can walk and stretch and make sure to drink plenty of water. Best of luck to you, I know all too well how stressful moving when pregnant is!

Grapes13 · December 2014

Did you ever decide to move or stay? My husband is active duty too in the Airforce. We were in the same boat. He's in Texas, I'm in Kentucky, we were supposed to PCS to New Mexico in October, then it was early December - however everything changed. Now he won't know his next permanent duty station until January. So I have decided to stay in Kentucky at least until the baby is born. But it's stressful not being settled. My whole life is in boxes now in storage due to the last minute changes. The whole pregnancy we have been separated. Makes things hard! I hope you figured it all out! I have tricare standard too- I agree it's much easier!

maltwin1 · December 2014

We are military too, and I also moved during my pregnancy. We are tricare prime so it was a little less complicated, but I would definitely advocate moving beforehand. I can imagine nothing more stressful than trying to get unpacked and settled with a newborn baby in tow.

As far as finding a doctor, I'd start looking now. Get on the tricare web site and start looking for network providers and calling to see of they will accept you as a new patient. You are definitely not the first pregnant mitary wife to be uprooted, so I'd be willing to bet the doctors in that area are probably used to it and will be very accommodating. But calling ahead will give you all the information you need before you have to make a decision.

Want a personalized experience?

Insight on which state to deliver

Re: Insight on which state to deliver

Choose Another Board

Search Boards