Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
SmallCityLiving
member
Re: Sleep with 5 mo old twins
Maybe just feed on demand and see if that gets any better? We did sleep train them at 9 months to put themselves to sleep so we didn't have to rock them every night. It worked well. I personally wouldn't sleep train for a few more months.
One twin is a rockstar sleeper - I joke I don't know where he came from since my oldest is a shittastic sleeper (he's 4yo and still wakes up at night calling for us on the regular).
The other one was a more frequent waker and I did OUBU for longer than needed - 6-7mo. Around 9-10mo, I was exhausted from getting up w both my oldest and the twins and something had to give. Not sleeping for than 2 consecutive hours was wearing on me.
I BFed, so first line of defense was to send in H and he would rock him or pat his back. I was okay w crying if someone was there. He was also 10mo old at that point.
After a few nights of that, I'd give him 5-10min when he woke to put himself back to sleep. There was some crying but it wasn't bad.
After a few nights of that, he STTN and so did his twin.
My oldest was the polar opposite. We tried everything and nothing worked. Everyone's got a different breaking point, but multiple hours of crying every night for several weeks was too much for me.
I dreaded sleep issues w the twins and envisioned years of not sleeping again but it wasn't that bad.
Dx: balanced translocation and LPD
TTC since Oct 2011
BPF 02/19/12, EDD 10/31/12, natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)
IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12)
BFP 12/02/12, u/s @ 6w,5d showed 2 HBs! Identical twins!!
Bed rest from 21w-35w due to short cervix, hospital bed rest from 23w-32w due to PTL
Our rainbows were born 07/19/13 (36w, 5d)
TTC #2 since July 2010
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days
5 months is about the time I started feeling psychotic from lack of sleep. My girls were up every 2 hours, not the same 2 hour intervals either, so I was up basically every hour every night. And they were screamers and really difficult to get back to sleep. They would basically scream their heads off while DH or I held them and walked around with them for about 20-30 minutes and then they would only sleep for 90 minutes or 2 hours. They were inconsolable and they would just cry until they passed out in our arms. It was really really awful. I was having anxiety attacks about bedtime almost daily.
I hadn't wanted to sleep train and I tried a few "no-cry" methods first and they didn't work for us so we finally did Ferber at 6 months. It really was not as bad as I thought it would be. In total it took about 5 days and they never cried longer than 8 minutes without us going in and checking on them and never more than 20 minutes total. They continued to wake up for a MOTN bottle after that for another few months, but would go right back to sleep and at 10 months they are fantastic sleepers now.
If you do decide to go this route, I definitely suggest reading the Ferber book before you do it. There is a lot of mis-information about this from secondary sources and he has a lot of other good suggestions that helped up that are not about crying it out.
TTC since July 2011
Me(33): normal HSG; diagnosed with mild PCOS
DH(35): normal SA
*6 cycles no meds, July-Dec. 2011, all BFN
*Clomid for 3 cycles, Jan-March 2011: BFP March 2011
*MC at 6 weeks
*2 cycles off
*Started TTC again July 2012 with Clomid, 6 cycles from July-Dec. 2012, all BFN
*1 cycle no meds: BFN
*1 cycle Femara: BFN
*1st RE visit March 2013 - first IUI in April 2013 with Femara, Menopur, and Novarel (BFN); second IUI in May 2013, same protocol (BFN); two cycle break; third IUI in August 2013, same protocol (BFN)
*1st IVF cycle, October 2013 (Synarel, Menopur (75 iu), and Gonal-F (150 iu)) -- BFP!! Saw two babies at our 5wk5d u/s on Oct. 28th! EDD=June 25, 2014
At 5.5 months I feel like I've already ruined then as sleepers. Trust me I know much of this is the sleep deprivation talking, I just don't know how to make progress!
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