Let's Talk Sexy Time

gsancho · September 2014

After IF treatment, particularly after IVF, when did your RE give the ok for sex? My RE was still saying to abstain last time (at my first beta)...but I won't talk to him again for another 2 weeks. When did you get the green light? I'd like to get some action in before we switch from PIO to the vaginal suppositories. And is it safe to have an orgasm in the first few weeks of pregnancy?

Not like we're ready to get busy all the time...but it's been almost 2 months. Even without an O, I need some intimacy!

ETA: I'm also curious how you've handled sexy time (if at all) as your pregnancy progressed. Was DH freaked out about it? Did you not even feel like it, anyways?

MrsLolaSky · September 2014

I'd also like to know the answers to your questions! We actually had sex between betas (or perhaps after the BFP but before the first beta), which in retrospect, scares me! I just didn't even think about it.

After I got the results of my beta last Friday (@3w6d), the nurse told me "not to worry" if I see some spotting after sex. Umm…. What?!?! I'm already nervous about everything as it is… I only started to worry about sex after she said that! I don't want to do anything to cause spotting! So I sort of told DH no sex unless he could find a study that definitely says it's ok. Deep down, I think I'm being crazy, but it's difficult not to worry.

My u/s is 2 weeks from today. If DH doesn't come up with anything, then do we just abstain until then? Wah.

PS - Not sure what's going on with my font….

gsancho · September 2014

@Ducky719 yep, that's the fun name we give to sex when we're in the mood

We'll just text "sexy time" when we're wanting to do it that night. Or sometimes I'll just text him "penis" Hahaha! I guess that's our lame version of sexting....

hopeby2015 · September 2014

My dh has been too nervous to do anything! I'm 20w5d! No sexy time here once! Most of the time, if he even touches me, I get annoyed and tell him to back off but when I'm in the mood, he'd hug and kiss but that's as far as he'll go. I convinced him once to try but he was too scared of squishing the baby and completely put me off. Soooo maybe we'll do it again one of these days ...

poohniki · September 2014

DH refused to ask at our RE appointments, so I finally asked as we were graduating (8 weeks) and he said it was no problem. We finally attempted it at 10 weeks and a few hours later I was put on pelvic rest- so I guess that will have to last him quite a while.

(I'm sure having sex wasn't the reason for pelvic rest- not to worry anyone)

rox825 · September 2014

We didn't do IVF so no restrictions, but I think that we waited until the 1st US to feel safe. Sexy time has been tough though throughout, first the morning sickness then hormones taking away libido, then the belly making things awkward/uncomfortable. Looking forward to enjoying the sexy time again this winter!

hopeby2015 · September 2014

@Ducky719‌ - I have a feeling I'll be lucky to get some 8w pp ... i didnt realize pg would have such an effect on our intimacy .. but I'm not complaining. I'd much rather go through the entire pg celibate then risk something going wrong!

mdiblasi10 · September 2014

My RE is conservative in the first tri, so he says no sex until 12 weeks. We waited till then both times. From my experience with my first pregnancy, I would say your sex drive will vary and it gets a bit tricky when your belly gets really huge at the end

But we managed to keep it up the entire pregnancy. I was even trying to get labor going with it.

chrissynena · September 2014

My first pregnancy I was too scared to in the beginning so we waited. Well I waited to long (and poor DH) I NEVER wanted to do it.

This pregnancy we planned on waiting just a little bit, then the morning sickness kicked in and it was a very rough first trimester. Second trimester came and I couldn't keep my hands off him.

ksgsmu · September 2014

I have been on pelvic rest since our embryo transfer back in MAY!

RE and OB said no sex in first tri....
Then my MFM said due to the twins, history etc.. he would advise against it at all!. Dh and I discussed and since we would never forgive ourselves if something happened we are on a hiatus until they are born. We are still intimate and I help him out frequently but it is tough! I miss it

ajlmom · September 2014

My doctors never talked to me about sex, the only instruction\ I got was "nothing in the vagina" 2 weeks after FET.

I was really nervous in the beginning and waited till almost 11 or 12 weeks to do it. We've been pretty active in the 2nd tri. ;;)

absolutelymaybe · September 2014

Mine said it was fine after my BFP but warned me that it can cause some bleeding and not to worry.

Since bleeding would worry us, we ended up waiting until after we heard the heartbeats.

So funny thinking about it now because I'm 28 weeks and I'm pretty sure it's been at least two months since any sort of "sexy time" has occurred. Sighs.

southernyankeegirl · September 2014

I can't remember how long we waited in the beginning but it wasn't IVF. I know it was before the first ultrasound cuz we went on vacation, so probably 6w or so?

Doctor hasn't given any restrictions. I did get pretty intense cramping (kind of like Braxton Hicks, now that I know what those are like) every time I orgasmed pretty much until week 9 or so. It freaked me out but my doctor said it was normal as long as it went away quickly (a few minutes at most) and there was no bleeding.

Only rules I have implemented, not based on doctor's orders, is no hands or mouth. I just am afraid of upsetting the pH balance and introducing germs. Penis only inside me! We were never huge on oral so it wasn't a big sacrifice for either of us.

Now that I am getting a bigger bump, a few positions have gotten uncomfortable. DH definitely gets a bit nervous about the bump but we do have fabulous sex, we just have to make sure the position won't cause him to worry or me to be uncomfortable. Like me sitting on a counter and him standing is good, doggy style, and me on top. All fun!!! I actually am really loving being on top way more than usual, and he enjoys the view of my porn star pregnancy tits.

ccam · September 2014

My RE gave us the green light after our first U/S with both pregnancies. There hasn't been much of it going on though this pregnancy between 1st tri exhaustion/nausea and now with being so big, it ends up being comical. But we try

pmpknbride · September 2014

We were not given restrictions, but personally decided to wait until we cleared first trimester. After our first time post BFP I experienced some bleeding and now DH won't touch me with a five foot pole. Lol. So I assume it'll be a while longer for us...I'm sure he'd be on board when it's time to try to induce labor haha. So we'll just have fun make out sessions for the next couple of months - totally worth it to keep the little one safe.

Lillovebug79 · September 2014

We don't have any restrictions but we have chose to wait until after the first trimester. I think if I were to have bleeding it would terrify us both even though it would most likely be my cervix. We are both in 100% agreement that sex can wait. But I only have 3 more weeks until my 2nd trimester

missvolvo · September 2014

We didn't have any restrictions (though we only did IUI) and had sex in between betas. I never had any bleeding though and that probably would have deterred me. We still manage to have sex about once a week and even though my DH doesn't really want to feel them move, he surprisingly hasn't been weird about my huge stomach when we have sex. Ha - men!

orange1414 · September 2014

I didn't have any restrictions, but then I had a SCH at 8 weeks, so I was on pelvic rest until 16 weeks. I'm nearly 26 weeks now and we still haven't had sex. No action here since the week before the FET. There have been a few times when I've wanted to, but mostly I'm too paranoid to go there.

rlk2 · September 2014

My RE never told us we had to stop.....I only waited till around 6 weeks and no problems here!

Neesey · September 2014

When we did ivf we were told to wait out the first trimester. With this pregnancy, my ms and his paranoia, I think we only had sex twice in the first tri! Second tri has been much better but definitely different with a belly.

cls78 · September 2014

rlk2 said:
My RE never told us we had to stop.....I only waited till around 6 weeks and no problems here!

Pretty much this. I was on Pelvic Rest after my FET until my first beta. (as per the transfer instruction sheet). I had intercourse after my first positive beta.

Want a personalized experience?

Let's Talk Sexy Time

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Re: Let's Talk Sexy Time

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Want a personalized experience?

Let's Talk Sexy Time

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Re: Let's Talk Sexy Time

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!