Baptism question

dobbyisfree · September 2014

For those of you that are baptising, tell me about your plans. My MIL is Catholic and has very different ideas than I did about what should be done (ie I thought word of mouth and casual food at my house after so we can watch football, she thinks formal invitations for 60 and brunch at a banquet hall) I am trying to figure out what we will do to please her more formal side without feeling like I am preparing for a wedding. Thanks :-)

Skeemer · September 2014

This may not be what you're looking for but here's what we did for DS & will do again for DD. In the charismatic/independent circles it's called a Baby Dedication & we don't baptize infants. But I think it's pretty similar. It's symbolic of Hannah (In the Bible) dedicating Samuel back to the Lord for His service.

My dad & DS's godmother are ministers so we asked them to prepare whatever they would like. We invited grandparents & local family to my mom's house. I bought DS a cute outfit to wear especially for that purpose. My dad read some Scriptures, said some nice things about his hopes for DS in the future & godmother did the same. We prayed for him, said things about him & etc. After we had a light brunch, took pictures for DS's baby book & played with him. It was very casual & very low key. It was perfect for our family.

littlemissmarla · September 2014

We are Catholic, DD is being Baptized in October - we have about 60 family and friends we've invited (mailed invitations) and are having a luncheon afterwards at a restaurant where we've rented out their room. I'm not sure if this is a Catholic "thing" to make it more on the formal side but it's your kiddo you do whatever you want and are capable to do. I would LOVE to have it back at our house and have it catered but we just don't have the space.

ETA: we also decided to hire a magician LOL, because there will be about 10 kids.. and I'm not sure what else there is to do at the luncheon afterwards, it's pretty boring, hopefully this will keep things interesting! haha

littlemissmarla · September 2014

@tundrabunny Do it! All the cool kids are.. I was pushing for a balloon artist (way cooler if you ask me) but DH won with the magician.

Skeemer · September 2014

tundrabunny said:

But now I really want a magician.

^ This.

Also, as PP said - Do what ultimately makes YOU happy & what you can afford to do. These are your memories of your child.

littlemissmarla · September 2014

tundrabunny said:

littlemissmarla said:

@tundrabunny Do it! All the cool kids are.. I was pushing for a balloon artist (way cooler if you ask me) but DH won with the magician.

Could you get a clown? Don't some of them do balloon animals and magic tricks? Or are clowns a little too freaky?

So not a fan of clowns! lol I got the idea to have some kind of entertainment because when my brother had his first kid baptized they had a caricature artist which was pretty cool.

dobbyisfree · September 2014

I am just so torn about what to do. In my head it was immediate family, a luncheon package from wegmans, and my house. My mom said most of ours were all at home after the service, but MIL just keeps bringing it up and its making me feel like keeping it informal is tacky. And she is asking about invitations and I am thinking... I was going to announce the date on facebook, which all my aunts, uncles, and cousins are on, and tell them if they want to make the drive (my fam is all between 2.5 and 5 hours away) we would be happy to have them. I felt like real invites might put a lot more pressure on them to feel like I expect them to come, when really they would be a bonus to me.

And also, MIL is contradicting herself - she called yesterday to say she had a great idea, we could have the party after at Bob Evans!!

Bob Evans? Really??

fivetoparty · September 2014

We had DD baptized when she was 2 weeks old. We just invited immediate family and kept dinner simple at our place after. We are far away from our families so that was one reason for being small plus it's what fit in our budget. We sent out simple generic invites that we got at Walmart even though everyone new when we were having it before she was born.

dobbyisfree · September 2014

Oh but my mom somehow unearthed my brothers 25 year old little white suit he wore and I so want Logan to wear it. Its up to 16 lbs and hes 12 now and we have two months to go.... hopefully his exponential growth slows down a little bit because its awfully cute and free!!

littlemissmarla · September 2014

@amlonica You have to do what you want and don't feel that having it casual is tacky! Especially if MIL is not looking to throw any $$ your way to help out then she really doesn't get a say. Like I said before, I would have loved to have it at home, I feel like it would be more relaxed and enjoyable!

shortstack930 · September 2014

My MIL is the same way and thought we were going to have a big formal affair. I don't want to spend the remainder of my maternity leave stressing over planning a party. DH and I just sat her down and told her that we want to keep it simple, just immediate family at the ceremony and we will go out to a nice dinner afterwards. After we explained that we didn't want to waste money on a party or time planning it, she understood. At the end of the day, it's your child and your decision. Do what is right for you.

lamarei · September 2014

Episcopalian here, (Catholic Lite as we refer to ourselves...lol) and we will have a baptism on All Saints Day (November 2 or 3, whatever that Sunday is). Mailed invitations and reception in the parish house for all family, friends, and congregants. My mom is hosting, so there is very little if any out of pocket expense for us. I'm looking forward to it. Baptism is an important thing to me, like marriage, so treating it with formality makes sense to me.

mcvgal · September 2014

Catholic here, We just baptized DS2over labor day weekend. We sent invitations out 3 weeks in advance since it was the holiday weekend. However, we kept it simple and at our house. My sister owns a party rental business so we had a bouncy house too:) I come form a large hispanic family with lots of kids, so with kids and all we had about 70 people.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

If you want informal, do informal. This is more for you and your DH than anyone else (besides LO, but he's not going to care/remember it) so you should do you want to do.

Unknown · September 2014

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ksspiff · September 2014

Catholic here. We are having a double baptism ( my s-i-l has an august baby) the ceremony will be at her grandfathers church (he's a deacon and performing he ceremony) and then a light lunch and snacks reception will be at her family's house.
Only immediate family and a few extended family that live nearby. No formal invitations.

alyss0nl · September 2014

We are catholic, and our church does infant baptisms of Saturdays. So after the 45 minute ceremony, we did pics and had lunch at our house where we watched football. It's just preference, but ultimately your decision. We will do the same thing with DS2 in a couple weeks. Still have to get the invites out.

snysilver · September 2014

We're Catholic, DD is being baptized this weekend. We are doing almost exactly what you described wanting, OP. Very small group of close family & friends, invitation by phone, snacks & watching the football game at my parent's house after. We did the same with DS when he was baptized too. Sorry, I don't have any advice on how to make it more formal, just thought you'd like to know your idea isn't completely unheard of!
In hindsight, it's a good thing we didn't try to do anything too fancy with DS's baptism last year... I needed to duck out of the room for a while to feed him, he took a nap, and even after his nap he was a little grumpy & fussy. I can just imagine how annoying that would have been if we were at some banquet hall, I would have basically missed the whole thing trying to feed & soothe the guest of honor. It was a lot eaiser with a small gathering to still spend time with the guests and let everyone hold him.

jnnfrrose6 · September 2014

My father's family is Catholic, mother is Episcopalian, and MIL doesn't go to church so I have no idea there (SIL actually converted to Judaism years ago and I have to keep reminding DH that no, she can't be Godmother because of that).

DD will be baptized on All Saint's Day and then we'll be having people over afterwards. We're still discussing what we'll serve, but it will probably be BBQ. Invites will be through evite except for those that don't have email (older family). We did the same for DS.

I've attended baptisms on my father's side of the family, and they have luncheons afterwards at a restaurant, but I wouldn't call it super formal (and honestly, less hassle to not have to clean the house up for guests).

As others have said, though, it's your kid. Do what works for your family.

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