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Quick advice? Complaining about a new DC teacher

shakinrosshakinros member
in Working Moms
DC got a new teacher in the toddler room about two weeks ago. She's the closer and my H does pickups. I've never seen her but he has a growing list of things he's witnessed that make us both uncomfortable. It basically boils down to she doesn't seem to know what's developmentally appropriate for toddlers and may not particularly like kids. Lots of little stuff that together is kind of off-putting like:
- having the two year olds pick up the toys at the end of the day (great) then scolding them for missing one
- telling a toddler who is asking for help with a puzzle "you don't need help"
- a 2.5yo boy says "I need to go potty" and she answers "you know where it is." Then she scolds him for splashing
- making no effort to understand a kid who's asking her for a particular toy

And, though I don't know that the new teacher was involved with this, DD has just picked up a habit whereby when she's crying about something, she'll say to herself "stop crying! Stop crying!" Kind of aggressively. I don't know know where else she would've gotten that besides daycare. We don't have any babysitters right now - she's either with us or at DC.

The director is not there everyday but I saw her this morning (when I was rushing to work and couldn't talk) and she said she'd still be there this afternoon. I would like to talk to her this afternoon about this teacher. I frankly don't think the teacher should be working with young children at all, but I thought I'd go at it from a "I'm concerned she's not ready to be the only teacher in the toddler room" route.

How would you approach this conversation?
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Re: Quick advice? Complaining about a new DC teacher

  • djm31012djm31012 member
    I had this issue in one of DS's infant rooms. I have a great relationship with the director, and I just was honest. I called once before and mentioned a few very specific concerns I was having. Then I let it be. And when DS continued to cry every single day, which he had never done before, I just called back and said we really just arent comfortable in this room anymore, and pushed to have him moved up to the next room (this was right around when he was 1, so he was close to moving from infant 2 to infant 3 anyway).  I made sure to keep the concerns specific to things I had witnessed or things specific to my DS, vs blanket statements. And I made it more about us, like we were no longer comfortable having him in that room and would feel better if he was moving up to see if that made a difference in his overall demeanor that had suddenly changed.  She was great about it and accomodated us within 2 weeks of my request. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member

    I would lay out your list of complaints and cite examples (like your list above).

    I disagree about keeping it to just things related to your child. I would absolutely mention things she said to another child. You should be concerned (which you are) with all the children in the classroom. 


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  • djm31012djm31012 member
    MarlaSinger& said:

    I would lay out your list of complaints and cite examples (like your list above).

    I disagree about keeping it to just things related to your child. I would absolutely mention things she said to another child. You should be concerned (which you are) with all the children in the classroom. 


    i should mention, nothing that happened in DS's room was as severe as what you are highlighting....
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    djm31012 said:
    MarlaSinger& said:

    I would lay out your list of complaints and cite examples (like your list above).

    I disagree about keeping it to just things related to your child. I would absolutely mention things she said to another child. You should be concerned (which you are) with all the children in the classroom. 


    i should mention, nothing that happened in DS's room was as severe as what you are highlighting....
    I didn't mean to insinuate you handled it incorrectly.  Just with this situation, she should bring up what happened with the other children as well. 
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  • minirellaminirella member
    You may not be the only parent to notice or to even discuss it with the director. I'd just discuss what y'all have seen going on. Not everyone is tolerant enough to work with toddlers and it might be that she just isn't the right fit for that room. If you don't speak up, the daycare might not know.
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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member

    Hmm...to me these things appear like she is letting the children take some responsibility and not babying them.  But I know nothing about development so take that with a grain of salt.  Our school teaches the kids to be very indepentant so I can see them encouraging a child to complete the puzzle without help, or to use the potty alone (assuming the child is at that stage...some in my DD's toddler class do!).

    just another perspective but I do agree with PP

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    edited September 2014
    SunAndRain said:

    Hmm...to me these things appear like she is letting the children take some responsibility and not babying them.  But I know nothing about development so take that with a grain of salt.  Our school teaches the kids to be very indepentant so I can see them encouraging a child to complete the puzzle without help, or to use the potty alone (assuming the child is at that stage...some in my DD's toddler class do!).

    just another perspective but I do agree with PP

    I took the OP to mean the teacher was scolding and dismissive to the children.  I do agree they should learn independence and cleaning up but (as I read it) she was not very nice to the kiddos.

     

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    djm31012 said:
    if my 2.5 yo was telling herself "stop crying" in an aggressive or almost punishing manner..i would have a real problem with it. that really bothers me.
    That's really troublesome.  She is mimicking from somewhere (daycare).
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  • shakinrosshakinros member
    MarlaSinger& said:


    SunAndRain said:

    Hmm...to me these things appear like she is letting the children take some responsibility and not babying them.  But I know nothing about development so take that with a grain of salt.  Our school teaches the kids to be very indepentant so I can see them encouraging a child to complete the puzzle without help, or to use the potty alone (assuming the child is at that stage...some in my DD's toddler class do!).

    just another perspective but I do agree with PP




    I took the OP to mean the teacher was scolding and dismissive to the children.  I do agree they should learn independence and cleaning up but (as I read it) she was not very nice to the kiddos.

     

    That's right. I'm in favor of independence too but this is coming off as dismissive, not encouraging. Tone would make all the difference! And I know for a fact this kid JUST started potty training because his mom told me in mid August that they hadn't started yet. Too soon to send him alone then scold him for not doing it perfectly.
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