Social life...

rab41380 · September 2014

Curious how do you all handle having a social life when it comes to events such as girls night out, happy hour with girlfriends, ...? I have started to cut back to one time every couple weekends.....I miss my family during the week and look forward to my family weekend time. I sort of been wanting to hibernate lol! Some of my friends do not work, as I use to sahm for 4 years, and now that I am back at work priorities have changed, and I also don't have much conversation with them....

jbatch · September 2014

I'm not sure I have a social life.. Lol. Really though my social life is though church, otherwise I don't really go out much.. To busy most of the time..

NADA-H · September 2014

God mine sucks and thats before baby and marriage. I didnt have the best social life before and now with more responsibilities and time consuming tasks and events taking big chunks of my life i barely have the time or energy to go out with friends. We've been wanting to visit or go out with 3 different couples that live in our building for the last 6 months or so and still havent!!!!

ccam · September 2014

I guess I don't have much of a social life either. But most of my girlfriends are in the same boat as me - married with kids and working full time. So getting all of us together is really difficult. Girls nights happen once every few months and I make an effort to be there for them because I know I need that time, but I'm happy that they don't happen more often! I, like you said, look forward to my family time on the weekends. We tend to spend time with friends as a family though.

banks81 · September 2014

I'm the first to have a baby in my close group of 4 girlfriends. 2 of them are pregnant now so it will be interesting to see how it changes once they have their babies. We have always done 1 dinner date a month, during the week, just the girls. It's already set in stone as the 3rd Monday of the month, so it's easy to plan around. I envision we will continue that. And, when possible, we get the couples together, but that isn't as often, and I see that happening less frequently when there are more kids schedules to work around.

It's also great when you can incorporate social time with an activity you would be doing anyway. I have been running on Saturday mornings with a friend. It's great to catch up with her one on one and we get our workout in at the same time. It takes a bit longer than if I were to workout by myself, but not a completely additional activity.

I am also lucky that my husband is very supportive in this area and wants me to have a social life outside of him and the baby. It's not what it used to be, but I think making time for friends, and girlfriends especially, is important.

Oh and I WFH so I really need that outlet sometimes!

VOR · September 2014

I am pretty happy w/ my social life. I don't have specific periods of time where I will/will not do stuff. Just as it comes up, if I can do it, I will. I go to a neighborhood book club once a month. I occasionally have dinner w/ girlfriends. Tonight I might be going over to a friends house for a drink after DS goes to bed.

I find time here and there.

Plus, for my friends in my neighborhood where our kids are the same age (and mostly around the age of 5 and up, so a bit more independent), I use playdates as social time too!

Outside of book club, there is no set "once every 2 or 3 weeks". Some weeks I feel like I have too much going on, but then other weeks I'm home the entire week. Eb and flow, I guess!

But I feel I have a balance. DH works a 2 weeks on/2 weeks off job so the 2 weekends he's off, those weekends are really important to me that we spend time together. But it's not an absolute. I also feel that if we'll be together all day Saturday and Sunday, if I'm asked to go out Friday night, I will. We'll still have plenty of family time.

mae0111 · September 2014

Much if my social life involves having people over. Many of my friends either have kids that are close in age to my kids, or don't have kids but really love them. So especially in the summer, it's rare that we don't have someone over swimming and/or for a BBQ. A couple of times this summer, DH took DD1 camping, so I had some kid-less friends over for apps and drinks. DD2 goes to bed at 7:15 or so, which meant we had the whole evening to just hang out, and I didn't have to pay for a sitter. Now, I have been out with girlfriends and no kids exactly twice since March. That's awful. I need to work on that.

jlaOK · September 2014

I do a girls night every Monday with my group of friends. We are a mix of WM and SAHM (most of us work). We meet at 7 so I still have time to do dinner, baths, and play with the kids. I don't feel as though it interferes too much with my family time and it gives me some much needed sanity.

We will also get together occasionally with the same group of girls and include husbands and kids. That usually doesn't happen as often, mostly because we are 8 couples and 10 kids.

Slb22 · September 2014

I am still working this out myself with a 5 month old. We don't have a lot of friends with kids, so most of the time they get together, we can't go because it is too late. I just started doing a monthly brunch with a few close girlfriends, which is good. Otherwise, it is all still a work in progress. When we can make it work, we do. I also realize we need to start hosting things at our house more often if we want to see our friends so we can send LO to bed and still hang out.

litzo27 · September 2014

I don't have much of a social life outside of playdates. Part of it is that I have 3 kids a job and a husband and another part is that we moved for my job 4 years ago and while I've made friends here all my closest girlfriends are in another city. I also have a big family who are 2-3 hours away and who we try to see regularly so every other weekend is dedicated to that. We do have some families we have made friends with here so we try to have at least 2-3 playdates a month and now that the kids are older and can play by themselves it's great because we can actually sit and drink coffee/wine

I also try to have 1-2 lunchdates a month with some friendly colleagues at work here. To be honest I don't have a burning desire to do beyond that right now.

potbellypig · September 2014

Most of my friends also have young kids, so my social life is spent at the park most afternoons from 4-5 chatting with my friend while our kids play. Other than that, I participate in a book club every month and run with a friend a couple of times per week. I go out for lunch with a friend at work every week or two. I try to fit my socializing in around my kids' schedules. Once every few months a mom friend will house some kind of home party (Tupperware, Stella and Dot etc) and that's the extent of my "partying" now. DH and I entertain every few months, and we have pizza dinners with family friends maybe once a month. I also socialize at church every week.

I used to go to house church meetings once a week, but with DH working crazy hours that got to be too much. I hope to get back into it when construction season is over.

ErinO21 · September 2014

We are in our mid-20s so a lot of our friends are just now getting married and thinking about having children. I don't have any scheduled plans that happen every week/2 weeks/month. If something comes up and I can make it work then I make it work. I have a couple close girlfriends that lives in town (we all grew up here so we've known each other for years) that I do a lot of lunch dates with. As for girls nights, I've had 2 since LO was born 9 months ago. The girls I usually have those with (which are different than the lunch girls) have had a few in those 9 months, but they've been out of town and doing that kind of thing while breastfeeding is too complicated. I just try to make the most of invitations even if I don't feel like going. Some friendships are too important to not pay attention too.

MickeyM04 · September 2014

I think it depends on what you mean by social life. I probably only have a girls' night out maybe 1-2 times per year. DH and I probably have a date night where we actually leave our house and have my parents come and watch the kids maybe 5-6 times a year total.

I do have lunch with my colleagues pretty regularly, maybe once or twice a week, but that's of course during work hours.

I think the majority of our social life is planned family outings/gatherings with other families. We usually do that maybe 1-2 times per month with various friends who also have kids. That's about as social as we get is when we do things as a family.

DH and I work and commute so we are away from the kids about 11 hours a day M-F, so we both try to be home every night during the week and spend the whole weekend together. And that's what works for us right now.

minirella · September 2014

I like my alone time; however, I do try and participate in the twin club events including mother's night out. It is only once a month and is really the only social life I have outside of work.

shakinros · September 2014

We have a core group of about 8 adults (4 couples counting us). One of the other couples has a kid 6mos older than ours. We get together as a group on Friday nights or weekend days probably 3x per month. Kids are always there too. These are fortunately our closest friends so I feel pretty darn satisfied with this as my social life.

There's occasional (like once a month) visits with other friends or our families and we always bring DD. Girls night happens only for birthdays.

groovygrl · September 2014

I have book group once a month and the women in our neighborhood get together once a month. Unfortunately those two nights often are consecutive & I feel badly being out two nights in a row so I will usually skip the neighborhood one if so. I am starting to see moms from preschool once in awhile out. Otherwise social life is MH & I date nights (once a month maybe) and we try to have friends w/ kids over once a month and maybe go to someone's house once a month. It is nicer now that our kids are old enough to play in another room/area without us worryign b/c we actually get to talk to the adults...
I do miss hanging out w/ friends more often. MH does not really go out a lot w/ friends so I also feel guilty if I do it more than one or two nights a month.

KL777 · September 2014

I was a SAHM for 3 years. I still am in my mother's group that I was in as a SAHM. Of course, hardly go to the weekday morning meetings anymore (just a few times during the summer, work part-time in summer).

We have monthly MNO and I go to those---much needed. Our group is actually a combination of SAHMs and a decent number of WOHMs (WMs).

alli2672 · September 2014

I more or less waved goodbye to all of my friends when I went off maternity leave with #4 a few weeks ago. I spent a lot of the summer hanging out at the pool, having meals together, and chatting while the kids played, but now that I'm back at work FT, it's so much harder to find a good chunk of time to hang out.

rodiesmum · September 2014

pre baby i go out like two-three times a week with different sets of friends -- BFFs, work friends, and then childhood friends. Now this is reduced to ocassional, as in holiday level. I still keep in touch with my BFFs -- thanks to cool aps. B ut we rarely see each other. We see each other during birthdays, and xmas get togethers so that it is like 4 or 5 times a year? I see more of my work friends since we get to have lunch at the office cafeteria at times. As for old work friends (those who have resigned or from the previous company i joined), i get to see them also on special ocassions like their children's birthdays (we dont have big parties for DD, and im sure no big party for LO#2 as well), and then christening, plus a christmas get together if something like that was scheduled. Otherwise, none.

As for something regular, like monthly? Can't squeeze in time for that

BabyHope2013 · September 2014

My lack of social life is something that I wish I could change or improve in...but unfortunately it always ends up at the bottom of my list. I am in charge of pick-up every night since I have an earlier start time. Then on the weekends, sometimes DH has to work on Saturdays. And then I spend all of my time cleaning the house, grocery shopping, running errands, doing laundry, prepping meals for the next week and then trying to carve some time out to spend time with DS or do something fun as a family.

When I am given the choice between going out with friends and spending time with DS, I pick DS since I feel like I don't see him enough with working during the week and would rather be with him anyway.

The only limited social time I do have, is planned out weeks in advance or is me hanging out with other moms if I do activities with DS.

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Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014

Farida, at 8 weeks

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God Bless You my Little OneFarida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014Farida, at 8 weeks

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God Bless You my Little One
Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014

Farida, at 8 weeks