Work.. Anyone else feel like me??

daniileigh8 · September 2014

So i work in a school doing 1-1 constant work with an autistic child.. And i dont know how to cope anymore, i dont know how to cope with my job and the child, hes getting harder ever day and im so emotionally, mentally and physically drained, i dread going in to work every morning.. What do i do?

sorry to go on, just wondered if i was the only one.. im 18 + weeks preg..

boxerrrmama85 · September 2014

Wow- I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like the kid you work with is engaging in some challenging behaviors and there is not much support for you. Are you a teacher? Teacher's aid? I am a behavior analyst and work with children with autism. Unfortunately, I am usually consulted when parents are having a difficult time within a school district. My recommendations to parents are to request an FA or FBA to determine the function of a challenging behavior- and from there, implement a function based treatment. If challenging behaviors are not addressed functionally, many challenging behaviors will continue to increase and get worse. What supports are being offered to this student? What goals are listed in the student's IEP? Do you all have a behavior analyst in the district/ school?
I really feel for you, because being pregnant-- I have had to rely on my coworkers to provide physical assistance to me, but it sounds like neither you OR the student is getting adequate assistance to ensure success in the classroom.

daniileigh8 · September 2014

No i have been told i would have someone to half my day and support him in afternoons but it hasnt happened and as were trying to get him into a special needs school as we are a main stream school its hard because we dont have the support a special needs school could give him. Im support staff, so not a teacher, i really dont know what to do because its getting harder each day and his behaviour seems more challenging each day and as im so far away from my maternity leave im stuck.. What do i do

boxerrrmama85 · September 2014

I wish I had more advice for you but over the internet my only suggestions are: talk to your supervisor to find out what immediate supports the student can get. See if consulting with a behavior analyst is a possibility. Also, remember that kids feed off of their environment. If he realizes that you are having an off day or are frustrated with him, he will use that to his advantage. Use HIGH and I mean HIGH rates!!!! of positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior. And truthfully, if you feel that you can no longer work with him, request a different assignment- it would not be fair to him to not be able to give him the supports he needs. Good luck.

foxslaw · September 2014

I think PP's gave good advice. I feel for you, I really do. Dealing with severely autistic children (like my sister) can be extremely difficult. However, I do think you might want to be a little more grateful? You do get to leave and go home to your own family at the end of the day. The parents and families live with the struggle you are referring to. I'm not saying your job is easy, but it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I just found it a little disrespectful to the family of the child (and the child) you're teaching. So when it gets hard, remember that you get to go home and live a normal life & that child is struggling. Really trying not to be rude here, I get that work sucks and that you can love your job...but not always like it.

daniileigh8 · September 2014

I wasnt being disrespectful to any child with autism, and i try to help him and is family the best i can. Im just saying its really hard when i get no support when hes more challenging. I give him the best support i can and do my job the best i can. I love the little boy i work with i was just saying its hard. Not once have i been rude about it.

foxslaw · September 2014

*i* felt like it just came off as a little disrespectful to their family. I'm entitled to my opinion just as much as you're entitled to be frustrated (which I said that i do completely get) Again, I just felt that it might help to have some perspective that even though it is frustrating AND IT IS, you do get to go home and take a time away from the situation. I'm never said you don't love & care about this child. I wholeheartedly believe you do.

daniileigh8 · September 2014

Also I have worked by his side for 3 years straight so im hardly being ungrateful. Just sayin its got hard now im pregnant. I thought this site was for support?? If you dont like my thread please dont be rude to me for telling people how i feel.

MapleMomma · September 2014

daniileigh8 said:
Also I have worked by his side for 3 years straight so im hardly being ungrateful. Just sayin its got hard now im pregnant. I thought this site was for support?? If you dont like my thread please dont be rude to me for telling people how i feel.

she was giving her opinion. Welcome to the internet. I didn't respond earlier because I felt like you had gotten good feedback already but I also understand what @foxslaw‌ was saying as I have two disabled brothers myself. Every pp respected you, but gave their opinions just as you had requested.

lilybug319 · September 2014

As a mother of an autistic child the last thing I would want is a frustrated teacher or aid. My daughter feels the negative energy and will return it in kind.

Kids on the spectrum can be really difficult. Trust me, I know all too well the kind of struggle you're going through. If the day to day is finally wearing you out it might be time to talk to your supervisor as PP has said. The stress of dealing with your student might impact your and baby's well being.

mom2xover2002 · September 2014

((HUGS)) as a mom of an autistic child also thank you for what you do during the day. Yes it's emotionally and physically draining. And i agree with the PP about talking with the school etc and maybe see about phasing in the person who will replace you while you are out on leave (If you are planning on coming back or not). Knowing you are tired etc the young man is probably picking up on that and it can make things more challenging. Change is hard on our kids and he's going to have a lot of change really quick with a new school, his aide who's been with him for 3 years leaving with a baby, etc and he may just be expressing all of that. Hang on dear one! You've got this. Talk with your supers and you can vent with us autistic momma's anytime!

daniileigh8 · September 2014

Thank you mom2xover2002 this post was never meant in a horrible way, just looking for some advice, and i didnt expect to feel like i was a horrible person by saying it.

jennjilljo · September 2014

daniileigh8 said:
Thank you mom2xover2002 this post was never meant in a horrible way, just looking for some advice, and i didnt expect to feel like i was a horrible person by saying it.

Intent communication is difficult without causing accidental offense. We're all from different walls of life, day things differently and have different reactions. Reading through your post as someone who doesn't deal worth autism often, I understand you but for people who live with autism in their daily lives it can read differently, especially if they're used to it being treated a certain way. I have often had to say "I'm sorry that it came out this way, I didn't mean to offend you but i see your point" and then give a better explination of myself. You shouldn't feel like a horrible person but it is important to try to see others points of view here and acknowledge that their feelings are valid. Doing so allows this forum to stay incredibly civil and helps us get to know each other better. I'm glad that you felt comfortable asking us this question and I think @boxerrrmama85 and @mom2xover2002‌ both have great advice. GL in getting the help and support that both you and this student need.

MapleMomma · September 2014

@jennhillhoite‌ said what I think foxslaw and I were trying to say better! You are by no means a horrible person and you obviously have a heart for special needs children, which we appreciate! It is just different being on the other side and very protective of your sibling/loved one. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this, I'm sure it's gotten harder now that you're pregnant and tired!

mom2xover2002 · September 2014

@daniileigh8 no problem! Anytime! And yes autism is one of those "if you haven't experienced it you can't understand it" type of things. That's why special education teachers are paid so much more. It takes sooo much more. And I will be honest, my son is very high functioning and is mainstreamed but the days his meds don't kick in fully and his adhd is on overdrive and we've decided not to sleep the night before are hard days! Adding being pg to your job and your energy reserves are at a low. Is he better outside dealing with nature and exploring? See if you can do those types of activities, I spy, make a mp like on Dora the explorer, etcetera. The sun and air is good for him and the sun will make you feel better too. Take care of yourself

foxslaw · September 2014

@daniileigh8‌ I'm frustrated because I was coming from a positive supportive place! I expressed empathy & the fact that it is a tough job, I was just trying to get you to see the positives in your situation. At least you are growing a child who is probably typical. I never once said you were a horrible person & it upsets me that you put that on me. I wasn't trying to be rude at all, and felt I chose my words pretty carefully to avoid that. I just honestly thought that you might have realized that you sound a little ungrateful. I'm not judging you. I'm not criticizing you. I was offering a perspective.

Also, in Texas, special education teachers get paid much less. The aides are paid as much as the front office ladies who answer phones. Crazy, right? Incredibly unfair @mom2xover2002‌

mom2xover2002 · September 2014

@foxslaw Personally I think it depends on the school district on how much the pay is for the teachers. I do think the aids need more that 10.00 an hour

daniileigh8 · September 2014

Ok i understand im just a little sensitive ar the mo..
Also, 10.00 would be lovely a hour, but i only get £5 a hour! Its not about the money tho x

Want a personalized experience?

Work.. Anyone else feel like me??

Re: Work.. Anyone else feel like me??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards