Weird obgyn experience, part vent/sharing, also not sure what to do (long, sorry)

pblge · September 2014

I can't remember if I posted this here or not, but I have a friend who did the "centering" pregnancy program and really enjoyed it. More information is here:
https://centeringhealthcare.org/pages/centering-model/pregnancy-overview.php
This was a couple of years ago, and this is not someone who knows we're pregnant now so that I could discuss her experiences, so I know think it's possible that what she did is a bit different than what I found offered through a local hospital. I had decided that this is the hospital at which I wanted to give birth (best ratings/most convenient), so this seemed like the perfect obgyn fit to me.

First appointment today, and it was ... something. First of all, the whole thing lasted 4.5 hours, which we did NOT plan for! It turned out okay, but definitely messed up the day. (This experience also included a nurse who JUST.DIDN'T.GET the concept of our hyphenated names, and didn't know what I meant when I said IVF). Second of all, it was immediately clear that this is one of the local low-income health clinic (!!!). Turns out, this hospital has **two** obgyn clinics, analogous to the rich door/poor door apartments on the news lately in Manhattan. This was the "poor door." I got a lot of people who worked there looking at me, and actually asking me out loud, "Why are you here?!" The patient forms asked how I felt about this pregnancy and whether I was likely to keep the baby.

Now, I'm all social-justice-y, so I don't theoretically mind this, but I definitely felt like I wasn't like the other children. When I asked about the centering program, they said the groups were usually made up of under 25 years old single mothers with lots of social issues. I think it's great that they have this, and I don't have anything against that population, but I really feel like it's a bad fit for me as an AMA new mom with advanced degrees who overthinks everything and did IVF. I don't think they would benefit from my presence, and maybe not so much vice versa. So, no centering group for me.

Now, I could still get care through this clinic (still the good ratings, etc.) and I liked the doctor I met. I should also mention that I was immediately categorized as high risk because of the IVF and my age (almost 37 for those on mobile). But it feels weird, and perhaps I'm using resources that should go to those less privileged. Other options would be to go to the rich door (which still feels REALLY weird), or find a completely unrelated clinic. Trouble is that I've had a hard time finding a local obgyn practice that delivers at this hospital. ALSO, they already scheduled the next two appointments with me, as they want me in every two weeks and got me on their schedule for the NT scan, so I'm wondering if I should just go there for the time being and figure it out later.

Argh. Anyway, thought I'd share and see if anyone has any words of insight. I've never graduated from the RE before, and thought this would go smoother. This was definitely an experience that challenged any notions of class-blindness that I had. I live in a city with a HUGE city/suburb divide, and it turns out that I'm a lot more suburb than maybe I like to think.

On the upside, there's still a cute little bean with a strong heartbeat.

Next and last (dammit!!!) RE ultrasound on Thursday...

AMShark · September 2014

Huh. I don't know what to say, except that that is not at all the experience I would expect when transferring to an OB.

I think the rich door/poor door concept would bother me somewhat too, but in the same situation, I can almost guarantee that DH would be storming the rich door, convinced that the better care lay on the other side.

I'd never even heard of Centering before, so I'm no help there either. (Man, there is a lot that I'm going to need to learn).

I guess I'm pretty useless on this one, except that I can offer this: Yes, that was a bizarre experience that you had today. Your frustration (and maybe disillusionment?) is warranted.

indianaalum · September 2014

I will be honest. If you have "questions", then perhaps it means you should switch. There should be no questions when it comes to this kinda stuff.

If they don't know what IVF is, I'd run for the hills

Mrs.AmyDylan · September 2014

Lurking from SAIF.

The 4.5 hour appointment would absolutely kill me and unless they had a truly bizarre situation (which they should explain) I wouldn't be going back.

But speaking as someone who left a highly rated OB/GYN practice at 32w for a crunchy granola birthing center, it all boils down to comfort. I was uncomfortable from the beginning. The didn't listen to me. With 4 days of bleeding at 13.5w, they brushed it off. I had to beg to come in for an u/s to make sure I hadn't miscarried. I wish I had followed my uneasy feeling in the beginning.

I don't think the rich door/poor door has anything to do with your decision. I think it has everything to do with having a good feeling about who is providing your care and believing that they are the best choice for you.

hopeby2015 · September 2014

I wouldn't worry about using up their resources unless you're not paying for it (you are otherwise paying for it either through insurance or OOP). What would worry me is if they'd never heard of IVF. You don't need to be an expert in it but as a professional in the medical field in this day and age, you should have some knowledge of IVF. If you don't feel comfortable going to this office, maybe the doctor that your comfortable with has another office that doesn't have to do with the poor/rich doors you referred to?

What an odd thing to do - this rich/poor door thing. Good luck with your decision!

blueberries8 · September 2014

I wouldn't write this clinic off yet, or at least I wouldn't write it off based on the socioeconomic demographic it primarily serves. My last pregnancy I went to to the high risk clinic at a major university hospital in the city where we were living at the time. They have a special prevention of prematurity program, which is one day a week in the high-risk clinic. I was there since I gave birth to my twins at 20 weeks.

Anyhow, the demographic most at-risk for extremely premature birth are people in the lowest socioeconomic bracket. I was a little surprised my first time in the waiting room that most of the other patients looked and acted nothing like me. But the truth is I was absolutely in the right place and got the most exceptional care there. Also, it was clear tremendous resources were invested in this clinic precisely because it served such an at-risk demographic.

If you feel uncertain about the quality of the care, absolutely look elsewhere, no question. However, if it were me, I wouldn't let the patient demographic influence whether or not to stay.

orange1414 · September 2014

If you feel at all uncertain, for whatever reason, try someplace else. I was uncomfortable with some parts of my OB practice from about 10 weeks, but I only just now switched at 25+ weeks, and by now, some other practices consider it to late to switch. I think I wasn't as picky as I should have been upfront because I never actually believed that I would stay pregnant and eventually deliver a baby! We're picky about our REs, and we should be just as picky, if not more so, about our OB/midwife groups! Good luck!

ksgsmu · September 2014

Why not check out other places like a midwife clinic or another OB... if you like it better switch!

Lillovebug79 · September 2014

I think it's unusual that they made you "high risk" because of IVF and AMA. I am also both and am not considered high risk. My OB said that IVF plays no part in high risk unless you are having multiples and even then, it's the fact that you are having more than one baby, not that you did IVF. He said an IVF pregnancy is just like any other after viability is determined. As for AMA, I was told that the only difference in that was the initial screenings (genetic testing or NT scan) and weekly non-stress tests after 32 weeks. I would probably find a clinic that is a little more familiar with IVF and AMA if I were you. But that's just my opinion.

Want a personalized experience?

Weird obgyn experience, part vent/sharing, also not sure what to do (long, sorry)

Re: Weird obgyn experience, part vent/sharing, also not sure what to do (long, sorry)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards