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Husbands acting distant

momof3xmomof3x member
in December 2014 Moms
Everything my husband and I are alone and about to have fun he immediately stops himself and starts doing something else, and talking in baby voices and acting like less than a man. Can it be that he's cheating on me? Or that he doesn't feel comfortable having any sort of relations while I'm pregnant. It is not my first baby with him , we have two boys and our sexual life was fine if not better! But it is our first girl, is anyone else experiencing this ???
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Re: Husbands acting distant

  • momof3xmomof3x member
    Me and baby both! It's very uncomfortable! And no nothing else is out of the ordinary besides then point that he's so distant and doesn't wanna get intimate at all. Doesn't feel good to be rejected or ignored. If he's not getting some from me where is he getting it from?? We all know men cannot go long without sex !
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  • momof3xmomof3x member
    I can't really talk to him about it , he really will just blow out of proportion thinking I wanna start a fight, or why am I asking 21 questions? Or just say how I'm hormonal. Thought maybe I wasn't the only one going through this it seems like iam. Thanks anyway!
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  • efgallardayefgallarday member
    Could it be he's under extra stress at work? My hubby isn't interested in sex when he's overwhelmed at work like he is lately...
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  • CandEChicagoCandEChicago member
    edited September 2014
    Oh yeah one other thing...

    Why can't you have an open conversation with your DH if an action of his (ie baby talk) is not making you comfortable?

    Edit: you could phrase it like...hey when you start talking baby talk that is a little weird and kills the mood.


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  • JRod13JRod13 member
    The baby talk is weird and warrants a convo- does he start talking to the baby when you guys are about to have sex? Because if so that's even more bizarre and I'd want to see why the exact hell he thinks that is any kind of acceptable. As far as the whole "if he's not getting it here he must be getting it somewhere" thing, not true. Bottom line though, if you can't talk to your husband that's a much bigger problem than a lack of sex.
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  • hollycnhollycn member
    I also strongly advise you talk to your H. There are sooooo many reasons why a man's sex drive would change and cheating is just one of them. Is there a chance he could be too stressed? Too tired? Unless you have other evidence to support cheating, I think jumping to that conclusion this early will look like you're "trying to start a fight".

    Bring up the topic in a way that is clearly unconfrontational. That way he cannot accuse you of anything. Let him know you are hurting and you are willing to listen to his feelings.

    OP, I think the only person who can answer the questions in your post are you and your H.
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  • MaineMamaMaineMama member

    I'm with all PPs, this is something you need to talk to your H about, in a calm rational way. None of us can even start to guess what is going on in his head.

    I suggest during that conversation you leave out the phrase "Less than a man" BTW

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  • ninee88ninee88 member
    I agree w/ PPs. It is weird so talk to him. If you can't talk to him something bigger is wrong with your communication as a whole. Just because you guys aren't DTD doesn't mean he is cheating...but it doesn't mean that he isn't if other things are giving you that impression too.
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  • hellopartyof5hellopartyof5 member
    I also think maybe being upfront about wanting some action might open the conversation more.  If you say you want to get it on and he says no, or that he's not in the mood - you can return saying that he's never in the mood or ok - how can I help you get into the mood. Obviously he has something going on in his head, hopefully he'll be willing to talk about it.  Or maybe he won't refuse his wife if you're really straight forward with him.
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  • weezy29weezy29 member
    My husband is definitely starting to show less interest as my belly grows and he was all over me in the first 24 weeks. I think after he started to feel the baby move, it kind of killed the mood for him.

    And if he's not getting it from me, I assume he is watching internet porn and taking care of himself, which I'm fine with!

    As a married couple with your 3rd child on the way, you really should be able to approach this situation without it being weird.
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  • alanier18alanier18 member
    I definitely didn't like the "less than a man" part of your post. He's still a person and could be dealing with a lot and when you don't feel like having sex I doubt you think of yourself as " less than a woman". But anyways... I think if you approach your hubby calmly and not when you want to have sex but at a different time, that way he doesn't feel obligated or embarrassed, you could learn the real reason behind it. It's possible he doesn't even realize that it's an issue.
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  • CryssteenCryssteen member
    Definitely cheating since men can't go without it........ 


    seriously?  Talk to your husband.  I don't understand how you're raising 2 (soon to be 3) children without being able to have an honest conversation about your feelings/life/relationship/whatever. 
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  • rshamosrshamos member
    Gag him and have your way with him. Ok, that sounds bad, but hear me out. If baby talk is freaking you out, take charge and tie him up (if he's into it). It is sometimes easier to talk about things after a good sex session. You two definitely need to talk, though.
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  • BayCampBayCamp member
    SLC1102 said:

    Tell him you're horny and you want to bone- then see how he reacts.  He can't/shouldn't get mad or accuse you of trying to start anything with that question.


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  • CandEChicagoCandEChicago member
    rshamos said:

    Gag him and have your way with him. Ok, that sounds bad, but hear me out. If baby talk is freaking you out, take charge and tie him up (if he's into it). It is sometimes easier to talk about things after a good sex session. You two definitely need to talk, though.

    @rshamos - LOL...I can so see this going the wrong way of he is not into the **playful** side of your suggestion.


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  • CandEChicagoCandEChicago member
    Anna930 said:

    @rshamos - what if he continues the baby talk and wants to be spanked?

    Oh god! I hadn't thought of that angle either.


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  • rshamosrshamos member
    Anna930 said:
    @rshamos - what if he continues the baby talk and wants to be spanked?

    I think the vow is "for better or for worse"? It may be a worse, but do what you've gotta do! ;) But seriously, OP, try a more take charge approach, then talk to him afterwards. MH is always more willing to talk after he's cleared his head (pun intended).
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  • babycakes0408babycakes0408 member
    Hmm maybe you could try to have a serious sex talk to him in a baby voice...no wait that'd get more awkward. Maybe you could act like the "his mommy" and take control...no that's more awkward.

    I think you are going to half to put your big girl undies on and have a grown up talk with him. If this is your only proof he's cheating is cause he's a man than no, just no. I been with my husband for 10 years now, and this third pregnancy has been very different. Our first I was 17, him 18 we was everyday (we had just got the hang of it). Second pregnancy same, even had it the day before my water broke at 35 weeks. This one though not much, not that he doesn't want it, but a midwife said there is something in semen that can soften the cervix (not sure I still believe her) and he doesn't want to hurt me (I have bad cramps after) so he says no he's afraid it'll induce me early. That being said did you ever think he might be trying to be considering what he thinks is best for you? Give him a little bit credit and don't just doubt him until he gives you an actual reason to.

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  • krystrist2014krystrist2014 member

    Okay, first and foremost, @rshamos - I like the way you think! Lol. Definitely agree that sometimes it can be a little bit easier to talk to my SO about something after we get freaky. :D

     

    OP, I would definitely echo previous posters about talking to him. My SO used to occasionally joke around or makes weird sex jokes when we were getting into it (actually it still happens every once in a while lol) because he is just a big goof and a major dork. While I find his goofiness hilarious most of the time, when we are about to have sex its just not a turn on! But when I noticed this becoming a frequent thing, I brought it up by just laughing at him and informing him that its really a turn off when he does that. I did it lightheartedly and made a joke of it myself, but he got the point and he rarely makes those awkward jokes now.

    But I agree with the other ladies, if you cant even talk to him about something small like this, there may be a bigger problem at play here. Communication is key in ALL relationships.

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  • feeshahfeeshah member
    rshamos said:
    Gag him and have your way with him. Ok, that sounds bad, but hear me out. If baby talk is freaking you out, take charge and tie him up (if he's into it). It is sometimes easier to talk about things after a good sex session. You two definitely need to talk, though.
    THIS. Is EXACTLY what I was going to post…. >High Five for light bondage<

    OR, kiss him when he does the baby talk…Hard to talk with lips occupied…Duct Tape might work too.

    But for real, you two should talk that shit out wether its causes an argument or not. 

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