Toddlers: 24 Months+

3 year old son picks and hits my cousin's 1 year old dd

Please help. I'm going crazy and idky what to do anymore and I'm seriously getting tired of sending my 3 yo ds to his room for hitting and just being mean to his sister and my cousins's 1 yo dd. He just doesn't stop, no matter what I do. Any thoughts/advice/tip please? This is an everyday thing and I'm so sick of it because it's constant too :(

Re: 3 year old son picks and hits my cousin's 1 year old dd

  • And I know that he's just a toddler going through it but my insanity it about to leave the door and I need help to maintain my sanity :(
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  • Thanks ladies, you just made me realize what went wrong and dh isn't consistent about time outs where it doesn't even work with me, he literally lol when he goes to his time out chair, that's why I started putting him in the room with the door open. It's so frustrating and dh and I do not see eye to eye bc he says he's tired from work so he's not always on it so I would have to do it or "complain" to him about putting him in time out right away. I hate that ds hits, I was in an abusive relationship in the last and I do not tolerate him hitting anyone. I let him that it is not okay. He drives me crazy bc he still does it after 15 min later.
  • He's good with staying in timeout. Maybe I should've been more clear but it's hard to sum everything up in this one post. The bedroom thing is somwthjng I've done recently, it wasn't always this way. It's bc I need a break! Like I said, time out doesn't seem to work, he stays put but he doesn't seem to take it seriously and I don't talk to him during his time out at all bc that's when he wants my attn. it just doesn't seem to phase him with this time out thing.
  • Good as in, he would stay there until I say he can leave. It just doesn't to bother him that he has to go to time out. Very frustrating when you're trying to do the right thing.
  • I think timeout is effective it just isn't an overnight fix.  I would not continue to put him in his room.  I think that's unnecessary.  I would just continue doing timeout consistently.  Hitting is not something they stop overnight but something they will learn is unacceptable as they also outgrow it.  Try to remember hitting at this age is developmentally appropriate.  

    My DS was in a bad way hitting in the spring and early summer.  He'd hit, get a warning and then gleefully hit again.  He literally had days where he was in timeout like 5 times before we'd even brush our teeth.  Now he's at the point where he goes to timeout for hitting maybe once a week and it's usually at a time when he's really tired, etc.  It doesn't get better right away but it does get better.  
  • I'll dissent here slightly - I don't think sending him to his room is terrible.  The rule in our house is that if you can't play nicely, you can't play.  Since we don't have other kids around, that means DH or I will leave the room he's in and not play with him.  But since you can't make the other kids leave, if he can't play nicely with them, he's the one that has to leave.  If he wants attention, wants to be part of the action, wants to play with his cousin/sister/family, then he has to behave appropriately.  And when he can do that, he can rejoin the group.
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  • I appreciate everyone's advice and encouragement :)

    ds is doing that for a while with hitting and making the girls cry by snatching toys and harming them from the very moment we leave the bedroom for breakfast.
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