Breaking point

Champs28 · September 2014

Just told my husband to fuck off. And it wasn't even really warranted. The stress of IF makes me crazy sometimes. Like certifiable. He was annoyed bc I put a new pair of his pants in the dryer (they were dry clean only). In my defense, he always says all his clothes can go in the dryer and didn't tell me he bought new pants.

Regardless, I threw the remote at him and screamed. The combination of premarin and provera I've been on and off of for the past two months is fucking me up. As is not being able to even fucking ovulate let alone conceive a child.

I feel angry and stupid. Men just don't get it though! He never gets depressed about If. He doesn't seem to be worried about any of it. I'm freaking out about how I will be able to get to clomid monitoring appts in two months! It's a lot of time off of work.

Ok I'm really sorry for the ridiculous rant. I just can't hold it together. To quote the preteens of the world, I just can't.

Hollowvic · September 2014

You're not alone, I lost it on my H tonight also. Men are just different creatures. Feel better.

Champs28 · September 2014

Clarification- remote was thrown on ground towards him- not AT him. No attempted DV actually occurred. It was in my hand and I threw it down in disgust. That came across completely wrong.

However, the ray rice reference did cause a chuckle and I feel better already. Thank you ladies. Nobody gets this stress like other women carrying the same weight on their shoulders.

DSculley1824 · September 2014

I hear ya! My favorite is when my husband complained he had to go do a SA. If I didn't walk out of the room I would have thrown more than a remote in his direction lol. Sometimes they just don't understand. Why is it that ladies have to always do the hard stuff?! Hugs to you!

theholmanherd · September 2014

My husband and I have been in counseling before after a couple of moments like this. It really does help. We've learned to communicate in a healthier way. Don't get me wrong, we still bicker now and then, but we haven't had any really nasty fights (involving unhealthy behaviors) in about a year. I'm really happy with where we are at now.

(((HUGS))) I hope you feel better soon.

dancerspose · September 2014

My DH doesn't see to "get it" either and I've run out of ways at the moment to try to explain my feelings to him. I'm hoping his everything will work out fine attitutude will get a dose of reality once we have a treatment plan but who the heck knows.

FWIW, if my DH had a problem with the way I washed his clothes I'd tell him to do it himself in the future, then throw the remote... ;-)

lisa89760 · September 2014

We have had our fair share of fights and objects thrown. It's a hard thing to go through. It took me a long time to realize that my husband did get it...and it was affecting him hard. But IF can cause different emotions in different people. I try not to do the "my situation is harder than his" anymore because while I believe it is, it's our situation.

It really hit home when my husband had to give me the trigger shot for the first time, and I was freaking out. Come to find out, he was also freaking out! I would be too if I had to give someone a shot, but he never showed anything like that before.

It's a tough journey and I think everyone has these fights!

Pintobean39 · September 2014

I think we can all say we've been there. I lost it just the other night with my husband because he thinks I'm to negative. He told me I needed to learn how to suppress all those emotions like he does. The word "fuck" was used in about every sentence after that. If I had something to throw I'm sure I would have. I've thrown a glass once but not at him, all these drugs are evil!!!! I understand men don't get it but they have to understand we aren't ourselves right now and be a little more understanding and forgiving. Also they should bring home alcohol a lot.

Pintobean39 · September 2014

Rumbera28 said:

NariaDreaming said:

DSculley1824 said:

I hear ya! My favorite is when my husband complained he had to go do a SA. If I didn't walk out of the room I would have thrown more than a remote in his direction lol. Sometimes they just don't understand. Why is it that ladies have to always do the hard stuff?! Hugs to you!

I lost my fucking shit on DH when he complained about his sample for our IUI.

I was like "I have stabbed myself in the stomach for the past 25 nights, dealt with mood swings, hot flashes, fatigue, and hunger, and you're complaining because you had to MASTURBATE?"

--------------------/------------------------------

That reminds me of the time that I was on a double injects cycle with monitoring every other day. DH decided to whine the day of our IUI that I never "help" him give his sample. I completely lost my shit... I'm surprised that my head didn't spin 360 degrees around like the exorcist.

I think my head did spin when my husband told me he didn't want to take his blood pressure medicine because it made him have to pee. Really???? I just wish all the medicine I'm on had the only side effect to make me pee a lot.

Champs28 · September 2014

lisa89760 said:
We have had our fair share of fights and objects thrown. It's a hard thing to go through. It took me a long time to realize that my husband did get it...and it was affecting him hard. But IF can cause different emotions in different people. I try not to do the "my situation is harder than his" anymore because while I believe it is, it's our situation.

It really hit home when my husband had to give me the trigger shot for the first time, and I was freaking out. Come to find out, he was also freaking out! I would be too if I had to give someone a shot, but he never showed anything like that before.

It's a tough journey and I think everyone has these fights!

This. I think I feel the exact same way you described. He may be happy go lucky and appear unstressed but dying inside.

Champs28 · September 2014

Thank you EVERYONE for the support and commiserating. I apologized for being a twat (while reminding him I'm not a laundry service). I think he holds it together so well for my sake. Only one crazy person per relationship!

BunnyBerry · September 2014

I'm so sorry, I hope you feel better after a bit of a breather.

Just want to clarify, since this is really close to my heart - throwing objects around others in anger, even if they're painless or directed away from the victim's body, IS domestic violence. It is violent and threatening, and can be compared to a guy lifting his arm and holding up his hand or making a fist like he will hit someone, even if he's too far away to hit anyone.

A couple nights ago, for the second time in our marriage, I threw something - it was a Croc sandal, and I threw it down the steps "beside" DH - had no idea how it happened, one minute I was standing at the top of the stairs trying to explain why I felt angry, and then boom, I was throwing a shoe. I did wonder if it was somehow related to the meds (but it's hard to blame it on Letrozole taken 2 weeks ago), because I've never had one of those tempers where you do something without thinking - but it made me really step back and just realize that I've been letting myself simmer over a lot of things lately, and I just need to let most of it go and then try to resolve the others one at a time instead of "throwing" it all at him at once.

Guess my point is, I think IF is such a stressor always simmering underneath everything, so the little things become overwhelming. I am trying to use this 2WW to center and reflect and try to think about where my criticisms of him are coming from.

jenmcD11 · September 2014

Try not to be too hard on yourself. I agree with everyone that men don't seem to worry/obsess about this as much as women do and that can make it seem like they don't care. That can be a negative thing (we think they don't understand us) and a positive thing (having two miserable people would be much worse than just one- plus my DH can usually pull me out of a funk with his positivity).

IF is so hard and there is no one to blame so it is easiest to take it out on DH. Apologize, learn from your mistake and try not to hold objects during your next fight.

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