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February 2014 Moms
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Luke Warm Reality TV Topic

MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
in February 2014 Moms
It's really not interesting to be a "HotTopic". I'm watching 19 Kids and Counting, and the topic of the show today is chaperones. The girls are dating and must be chaperoned at all times, even after they got engaged. Just wondering if anyone has any thought on this? image
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Re: Luke Warm Reality TV Topic

  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    adinashoshana said:
    I don't watch this show, but I think it's absolutely ridiculous. It breeds a lack of trust. If my child is old enough to date, she is old enough to be out on her own and make her own choices. 

    I honestly don't understand what chaperoning would accomplish. 
    I think it's meant to force you to keep your panties on ;)

    I have a friend who didn't actually kiss her boyfriend until they were engaged. It was a decision that they made together, and didn't need constant watching to force them to behave.  I get that you want to be accountable, but these girls are 24, not 14 FFS.
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    paulheath said:
    adinashoshana said:
    I don't watch this show, but I think it's absolutely ridiculous. It breeds a lack of trust. If my child is old enough to date, she is old enough to be out on her own and make her own choices. 

    I honestly don't understand what chaperoning would accomplish. 
    I think it's meant to force you to keep your panties on ;)

    I have a friend who didn't actually kiss her boyfriend until they were engaged. It was a decision that they made together, and didn't need constant watching to force them to behave.  I get that you want to be accountable, but these girls are 24, not 14 FFS.
    What if they didn't like kissing each other once they were engaged?!
    I'd hope that even if you weren't kissing, you'd feel attracted to the person? Although I once dated a guy a few times that I found attractive, until we got physical. Then, yuck. 
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    DreamingBabies said:
    I think it is weird. It's one thing for the individuals dating/courting to want to limit themselves physically. However, I don't think that they need a chaperone to do so. I don't think that they even have private phone calls, talk about weird. All I can imagine is wanting to talk to their finance and nervousness or anticipation of the wedding night and having someone listen in. Yuck.
    I think they don't talk about it. From what I remember from their first kids wedding, they were given a CD to listen to, in the car after the wedding. I always wondered what was on that tape!
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    DreamingBabies said:
    DreamingBabies said:
    I think it is weird. It's one thing for the individuals dating/courting to want to limit themselves physically. However, I don't think that they need a chaperone to do so. I don't think that they even have private phone calls, talk about weird. All I can imagine is wanting to talk to their finance and nervousness or anticipation of the wedding night and having someone listen in. Yuck.
    I think they don't talk about it. From what I remember from their first kids wedding, they were given a CD to listen to, in the car after the wedding. I always wondered what was on that tape!
    Women submit to your husbands?
    This goes there? Lay back and close your eyes? 


    The more I think about this, the weirder I find it. The parents read texts and emails too! What is that teaching kids? Your hormones are going to take over and burst out of your pants the second you're alone? And we don't trust you. 
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    So now I'm curious. What age do *you* think is ok for kids to date? Group dates vs alone, any difference?
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  • narcissticbeautnarcissticbeaut member
    okay so i personally don't see the point in it. but then again looking back i should've had a chaperone doing the things i did at the age i did them -- oh well i turned out okay!
     and i don't think i would chaperone my son on dates ever, and as far as group dates, I'm not sure id be okay with that either since i think teens today get in more trouble because of the influence of their friends being around and the peer pressure, than if they were to be by themselves and nervous around each other.

    THAT being said

    for them, i don't see anything wrong with it. I have a few friends that came from a family that was the same way. Its somewhat of a religious thing. I can't speak for the duggers, but my friends family was Morman. And they weren't like the duggers, only 3 kids and they lived in southern ca so obviously the way they lived was a bit different. But they did go on chaperoned dates, didn't kiss, held hands only after they courting, and hugged after they were engaged. Its not so much about the parents trusting them, its more so about not giving yourself that temptation. they knew that if things were to get physical one thing could lead to another--were human. So they just would rather not open themselves up to that temptation. I can understand that. 
    Im not saying its awesome and everyone should do it, but it works for them and they're happy about it and happy to do it. And anna and david don't regret having not shared a kiss before their wedding day, she loves knowing that her husband is the only person she's ever been intimate with and that she's never kissed anyone else. (they were both virgins, but he had kissed another girl before *gasp!* lol)

    so i just think if it works for them then great. its not for me, and its odd, but i don't necessarily see anything wrong with it. 

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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    DreamingBabies said:
    I think dating age is based on your kids maturity level. I mean letting your kid go to the movies or the mall is very different than letting them go to their SO's house with no one home. Obviously if they want to sneak around or hook up in the car it's going to happen no matter what. I've never understood group dates, isn't that just hanging our with your friends? I think elementary school is too young, but it don't know beyond that.
    When we were 12, we used to do this. But sometimes you sat next to a particular boy. 

    I was in too serious of a relationship as a teen (15-17) and in a lot of ways it may have harmed to, and given me extra baggage to lug around. I can see wanting to limit your child's relationships to avoid those kind of issues. I just don't know if it makes sense, or is possible.
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