how to address invites

MrsTucker2011 · September 2014

OK, so this is the first children's party I've thrown and I'm at a loss on how to address invites.

Do I send it to the family, or kid's name? I don't want the dads feeling obligated to show up, but I don't want moms thinking they can just drop the kids off by themselves.

Halp meh!

kefttsc · September 2014

I'd address it to "The Jones Family", but I'm a FTM so you may not want to listen to me

jaztastic · September 2014

We always did something like:

Kid Lastname

C/O Mom Lastname

crabigator · September 2014

I actually vary it per recipient, depending on circumstance. If the family all has the same last name, I just address it to the family, e.g., The Smith Family -- not sure why dads wouldn't be obligated to attend, btw? In my circle of friends, dads usually all attend birthday parties, and I'd be personally pissed as hell if my husband opted out of having to attend a kid's birthday party!

When the last names are different, I will often just address to their first names, since it's not that formal of an obligation anyway, so something like "Andy, Ann, and Alex" would work for me.

Finally, when it's a daycare/preschool friend, where I frankly don't know the parents' names or maybe even their last name, I do "Aaron and Family" -- usually when they RSVP, I find out exactly how many adults/kids to expect, in terms of a food headcount.

Hope this helps!

jennjilljo · September 2014

Both times I've addressed to parent name and family (I/e: Erin Smyth and family).

crabigator · September 2014

PS I used to think I had to do invites the same way for everyone, and then I realized, duh, no one sees anyone's invite besides their own (except, I guess, maybe family?), so who the hell cares.

Nvywife · September 2014

If the kids are not school age I address to the family.

animalcrckr · September 2014

What kind of party is this? How old is your kid? Do you want only the child and one parent? We always invite entire families to include parents, friend of our child and their siblings. This is mostly because we are friends with most of our children's friend's parents and hang out with them on other occasions.

DS1 and 2 have both been invited to just kid type birthday parties at the bowling alley, bouncy house places, skating rink, etc and usually I just go with whomever was invited to the party while DH stays at home with the other two. However, we had one situation where I had to bring all 3 kids b/c DH was out of town but I ran this by the host ahead of time.

MrsTucker2011 · September 2014

First birthday party, mostly family but a few little friends. I don't mind if the dads come. I just didn't want them to feel obligated to come to a baby party.

animalcrckr · September 2014

I would go ahead and invite the whole family. If the dads do not want to come, they probably will not come. I doubt they will feel obligated. I would address the invites to The XXXX Family. That way you are not leaving them wondering if everyone is invited or not.

crabigator · September 2014

I'm honestly curious if this is a common thing: dads who don't attend baby and kid parties? If one parent stays at home with the siblings who aren't invited (for older kid parties), that totally makes sense.

But the one-year-old parties I've attended (which have been... numerous, haha) have all been, the whole family is invited, the whole family is expected to attend if any attend. I also think that I'd definitely expect older siblings to come too -- I feel like that first birthday party is way more a celebration of your little family -- you all made it, hooray! And as such, is typically a very inclusive event.

jennjilljo · September 2014

@crabigator‌ my husband hasn't attended a first or second birthday party yet but that's because he works weekends and evenings which is when parties usually happen.

MrsTucker2011 · September 2014

@crabigator‌ Like I said, it's my first time having a kids party. The only 1st birthdays I've been to were for family. In our circle, if its family everyone goes. I wouldn't care if DH didn't want to go to a bday party, that's why I was thinking about the other dads.

Lots of good advice on here though. Thanks everyone! I think I'll do "Smith family."

crabigator · September 2014

MrsTucker2011 said:

@crabigator‌ Like I said, it's my first time having a kids party. The only 1st birthdays I've been to were for family. In our circle, if its family everyone goes. I wouldn't care if DH didn't want to go to a bday party, that's why I was thinking about the other dads. Lots of good advice on here though. Thanks everyone! I think I'll do "Smith family."

Oh totally -- I'm sorry if it seemed like I was being pointed towards you, I definitely didn't mean to come across that way if so. I was more just super perplexed, because it kinda sounded like you were referencing a known trend or thing where dads don't attend birthday parties, or at least they don't if they don't have to, like it's a burden for them.

I have to be honest, I've also never been to a kid's birthday party (first or otherwise) that didn't have food and drinks (and often, for the adults, beer/wine) that's clearly meant for the adults too, so I guess I was thinking, dude, why would a dad not want to go?!? Sadly for us, kids' birthday parties are, like, a big part of our social life, hah!

MrsTucker2011 · September 2014

@crabigator‌ In our social group *I* don't like going to kid's birthday parties. Definitely geared towards just the kids around here. Haha. Guess I better start getting used to it!

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