S/O Alcohol- Drunk Stories

CNJ4EVA · September 2014

Anyone care to share a funny or crazy drunken escapade?

CNJ4EVA · September 2014

One time while peeing in a friend's bathroom, I looked through her magazines and one had an owl on the cover. In my drunkenness, I decided that owls were evil, so when I got out of the bathroom I tried to use her stove burners to set the magazine on fire.

Luckily, my friend stopped me before I was successful in my attempt. Obviously not my proudest or smartest moment.

pnwlover12 · September 2014

On my 21st birthday I got so wasted that on the way out to the car (don't worry, I had a dd) I turned around to say something to a friend and turned back around only to walk right into a light pole. Then I passed out in the car and a couple of my male friends who followed us home to make sure we made it safe, had to carry me up the porch stairs.

AppleGrapeMSTK · September 2014

I didn't drink wine until I joined TTGP. One night I chugged an entire bottle of wine so I could participate in Bumping While intoxicated. I was fine and giggly until bed time. I had a bowl next to my bed for the inevitable, but in the middle of the night, I sat upright and started vomiting on myself. All I remember was saying, "I can't fix this! I can't fix it!"

My lovely husband put me in the shower, threw the blanket into the wash, made the bed, and tucked me in without complaining once. I have never been that drunk in my life and don't plan to repeat ever again.

Littledeer84 · September 2014

At the house H lived in for college, there was only one bathroom for 4 guys. I passed out in his room, and he woke up to me vomiting on the floor. He took me downstairs to the bathroom, but I stopped puking. So he took me back upstairs and cleaned up just in time for me to throw up again. And I have no memory of this at all. Only time I truly blacked out. Classy.

applebottomgenes · September 2014

My best friend and I were at a friends wedding and after a boozy rehearsal dinner and post-rehearsal dinner get-together we decided to break into the hotel indoor pool and go swimming. Since we didn't have suits we swam in our spanx. If anyone had happened upon us it would have been the most unsexy 'skinny dipping' scene ever. Two 30 something girls in full body spanx trying to do handstands under water. And this was only a couple years ago too...

Edited: English

jesslinnn · September 2014

The night my roommate/bff turned 21. I wasn't 21 yet so I couldn't go with her bar hopping, but she ended the night at this bar we knew didn't card. Since she was already drunk she kept passing the shots people bought her to me. Also since I had just got there and only had an hour max before the bar closed I was making up for it by drinking long islands. At last call I ordered 2 more and chugged them before we left. This was December, and I remember walking home with BFF, DH (boyfriend at the time) and our other friend, through the snow and up my icy front porch steps. The next thing I remember was laying naked in the bathtub while the shower ran and puking all over myself, and DH was sitting there next to the tub with towels. I still specifically remember thinking and saying to him that getting in the tub was the best idea because then I didn't have to worry about where I puked because it just washed away. I thought I was a genius. I finally got cleaned up and passed out in bed. I was soooo sick for the next 2 days. Never been that drunk or hungover in my life!

ps. I'm disgusting.

pnwlover12 · September 2014

mel689 said:
The night my roommate/bff turned 21. I wasn't 21 yet so I couldn't go with her bar hopping, but she ended the night at this bar we knew didn't card. Since she was already drunk she kept passing the shots people bought her to me. Also since I had just got there and only had an hour max before the bar closed I was making up for it by drinking long islands. At last call I ordered 2 more and chugged them before we left. This was December, and I remember walking home with BFF, DH (boyfriend at the time) and our other friend, through the snow and up my icy front porch steps. The next thing I remember was laying naked in the bathtub while the shower ran and puking all over myself, and DH was sitting there next to the tub with towels. I still specifically remember thinking and saying to him that getting in the tub was the best idea because then I didn't have to worry about where I puked because it just washed away. I thought I was a genius. I finally got cleaned up and passed out in bed. I was soooo sick for the next 2 days. Never been that drunk or hungover in my life!

ps. I'm disgusting.

--
We've all been there. Sooo many humiliating drunk stories.

trisharenee0316 · September 2014

Around the time I turned 19, I was at my dorm and doing vodka shots with a friend of mine. He left and I passed out, only to wake up to need to vomit. We had communal bathrooms and the men's bathroom was right across the hall, while the women's bathroom was down the hall. So of course I went into the men's bathroom into a stall, threw up, and then decided that the cool bathroom floor was the best place to lay my face down. I passed out there in my nightdress sprawled on the floor and awakened to some RA who was on rounds pounding on the door. Despite the fact that I was pretty lucid, I got taken out of the dorm and to the hospital on a stretcher/in an ambulance (let us not speak of the number of people who saw my drunk ass get wheeled out), only to sleep in the bed and throw up there. All things I could have done at home.

I had to tell my mom that I was severely ill when she got the bill so she didn't find out it was from drunken stupidity.

Also, please don't remind me how absolutely revolting it is that I had my face on a men's bathroom floor. It's been almost 15 years and I still want to melt off my face skin because of it.

serenbach · September 2014

I got drunk on a girls holiday in magaluf when we were all 18 (12 of us girls with matching cringey tshirts and everything) and woke up one morning to find a tattoo on my vajayjay, only the find the other 11 girls had matching vaj tattoos! It's only a little heart about 2cms big on the right side above my pubic bone but it's awfully embarrassing at doctor and midwife appointments... And my partner hates it! $:\$ ">

atraveller · September 2014

So many stories - which to choose. I'll go with the night one of my male friends turned 21 - we were in Miami during Spring Break and went to South Beach. Of the rest of us only one other gal was 21 - but we all had fake IDs. Many double tequila shots later - we were sitting at the bar finishing my friends (the one turning 21) because he was done, shots, when the lights went out due to a local burnout in the area - and my friend and I decided that would be an opportunity to go behind the bar and snag a bottle of tequila. The bartender caught us but rather than busting us - said he'd let us have it if we'd do a dance (not striptease) on the bar - so of course we did and it took two of our friends pulling us down to keep it from becoming a clothing off dance. Within moments after that, one of my other friends came over telling us she had been kicked out - and her ID had been taken away. So I proceeded to go over to the bouncer that did it and tried to argue with him (very very drunk) that it was illegal and he couldn't take her ID away and that he was mistaken - he pulled it out and wow the pic on there was pretty bad - hard to believe it worked for her at all, but I continued to fight and almost got the cops called on us but instead just got us all forcefully thrown out (fortunately my ID was very real - I had used my older sister's birth certificate to get an ID card - something you could never do now, but then the DMV was pretty lax). Ironically, we sat at a table outside in the front to figure our next move and proceeded to get served (too funny) by a waiter that never saw what happened. I was so drunk that I passed out in the chair and woke up just long enough to puke on the floor next to me. Our DD, finally rallied us and got us moving and about half way to the car that was parked what seemed like a million miles away, I grabbed a pole and stopped hugging it telling them I couldn't make it any more and to leave me there. After which three of my friends had to half drag me the rest of that way.

We were staying at my friends parents house for the 5 days we were in Miami and I was promptly put to bed, only to puke on the bed a little while later and I recollect pulling the sheets off and trying to hide them, so her parents wouldn't see and frantically looking for a linen closet to find new ones so I could remake the bed. Later that morning - still a little drunk and very hung over all at the same time I was sitting at the breakfast table with her mom and dad and her (everyone else was still passed out) eating bacon and having a political discussion with her father that I still don't remember.

The hangover didn't end till the next day. To this day, her parents still rib me about the puke covered sheets they found under the bed later that day. Fortunately they were cool enough not to mention it to me until at least a year later.

.

(Needless to say...three weeks later when I turned 21, this whole escapade did not stop me from getting rip roaring drunk again - and I shall not share that story just yet).....

bumpuser10309732 · September 2014

Two words: Jungle Juice

Ugh never again. I'm pretty sure I was borderline alcohol poisoning there. I was 20 and it was DH's BFF's birthday. I didn't know what Jungle Juice was so naturally I drank two solo cups full. Oh man it makes me gag just thinking about it. Then I passed out on a pile of coats, BFF carried me to the car meanwhile I'm stealing cigarettes out of people's mouths (I'm asthmatic so obviously I don't smoke) the BFF carries me into the house and I wake up in the bottom of DH's shower and barf into the drain. Not cute people...not cute

[Deleted User] · September 2014

@MrsBabe614‌ Ok you're going to have to tell me what Jungle Juice is. Never heard of it!

bumpuser10309732 · September 2014

@deezidee04 It's basically like 20 different bottles of alcohol and a gallon of juice. It's not SUPPOSED to taste like alcohol but this one wasn't right....it's bad news. I hope you never know what it is. Lol

bitsybubbles7 · September 2014

My freshman year, after we were done with all our 2 weeks of performances, we had a cast party. I proceeded to drink almost an entire bottle of Captain Morgan, roughly 6 tequila shots, and enough jello shots to make my puke day-glo pink. I went outside to smoke and ended up puking. I went back inside, ate a sandwich, and continued to finish the bottle of Morgan and 2 more tequila shots, as well as some malibu.

Dh, bf at the time, had the pleasure of sneaking me into my (dry) dorm. I made it past sign in and onto the elevator. The minute it started moving I projectile vomited hot pink... all over dh and the entire inside of the elevator. The doors opened and I ran into the garbage room and continued puking. I made it down the hall and had to puke again in the bathrooms. Dh got me to my room and I passed out. Two hours later, I got up, showered, and took all my laundry downstairs to clean. As I was oh so causally walking past the elevator with my laundry, I noticed someone had called housekeeping and they were cleaning. No one knew I was the freshman who puked in the elevator until my senior year when I finally told some friends right before graduation.

lrobi13 · September 2014

So I may just have to have a poll to see which story I should tell. But to be honest I was a solid drinking girl. I could puke (neatly) and rally like a champ.

But I have puked on a person, out of my dorm window in bright daylight while children played below (reality kids!), puked in a cup (neatly) while walking through a crowded bar while trying to get to the restroom)

and of course my lowest hour was asking my brother to come pick my drunk ass up, asking him if he was gay (yes), then once we got home I told my mom that he was gay (which was not a big deal for any of us), and then I told him that I told my mom that he was guy.

Poor guy was mad at me forever. Which I deserved. Poor thing was so worried about telling and in 2 seconds I did it for him. He was all like "what did her face look like?"

That sucked.

victoria+james · September 2014

When DH and I first started dating we lived in different states. He came down to visit and the first time we ever really drank together I got alcohol poisoning and spent the entire night puking in his lap. No idea how he ever chose to marry me after that one, but I'm so glad he did!

On another occasion while he was out of state I was drinking with some friends and one of the guys who I thought was my friend but I guess just wanted to hook up started hitting on me after I'd had too much to drink. I vaguely remember saying something along the lines of "let me see your hat" (which was brand new - he bought it that day) and when he handed ot to me I threw up in it, handed it back, and walked away.

linnae939 · September 2014

My best friend and I got drunk at her engagement party, and then we made my DH (our DD for the evening) drive us to the house we lived in in college and we peed on the deck in front of the house...classy ladies.

pushgal84 · September 2014

My BFF had just found it her live-in boyfriend had cheated on her. She kicked him out and had a couple friends over for a night of pity drinking. A couple bottles of vodka into the night we're all super pissed at the guy and coming up with revenge plans. I start taking all of his clothes out of the closet and putting them in the bathtub. My intention was to douse them with bleach, but my BFF stops me and said that was taking it to far. I suggest plan B, which she agrees to.... so we rolled all of his clothes in dirty cat litter and bagged them for him to pick up the next day.

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