any moms dealing with PPD/ PPA?

marathonmommy82 · September 2014

Was really hoping to avoid it this time around, but PPD/ PPA struck again. Currently taking 20 mg Lexapro and use 10 mg Ativan as an emergency med. My pysch recommended I see a therapist so I'll start that next week.

Feeling better but not 100% myself yet. I hate to say this, but I really struggle to enjoy mat leave. I love my job and I'm used to talking and interacting with lots of people daily. This can be lonely.

I still struggle with how I "should" feel with a newborn, and although I know it's a chemical predisposition, it still, well, sucks.

Anyone else?

gahorseygal · September 2014

Look up A'14 Depression Support Group. I also feel very lonely and trapped in my house. I work from home so I don't have anything to get me out of the house during the week. My husband works so I take care of her at night and feel like I have no support. I had anxiety really bad in the beginning but now it's just a feeling of loneliness and exhaustion.

Dawn5481 · September 2014

marathonmommy82 said:

Was really hoping to avoid it this time around, but PPD/ PPA struck again. Currently taking 20 mg Lexapro and use 10 mg Ativan as an emergency med. My pysch recommended I see a therapist so I'll start that next week. Feeling better but not 100% myself yet. I hate to say this, but I really struggle to enjoy mat leave. I love my job and I'm used to talking and interacting with lots of people daily. This can be lonely. I still struggle with how I "should" feel with a newborn, and although I know it's a chemical predisposition, it still, well, sucks. Anyone else?

This is me exactly. I spent most of my life (age 15-30) struggling with severe social and general anxiety and crippling depression. I had tried damn near every medication over the years, saw so many therapists I lost count, and it wasn't until I turned 30 that I was finally able to put away the meds and wing it on my own. I felt awesome for 3 years....until I got pregnant. Warned my OB to watch me after delivery because I predicted ppd/ppa would happen. Sure enough, two weeks pp, I was asking for meds. I know it's not my fault, but it pisses me off. All those years to take one leap forward just to take several steps back. I hope I can crawl out of this quickly and enjoy this child I longed for for so many years. Here for support if you need it.

raquelynn714 · September 2014

I was feeling trapped by my body and the BF schedule... Not sure if it was PPD or just depression/frustration related to a situation I wasn't anticipating. My LC suggested pumping on a 4/5 hour schedule in contrast to LO's 3 hour feeding schedule. I have so much more flexibility to leave the house and leave LO w a baby sitter which relieved my despair (I managed to get my pumping to a 4-8 hour schedule and I can still produce more than enough to feed). I'm trying to get over feeling guilty for honestly hating the BF process... I know I shouldn't feel bad for virtually exclusively pumping by choice, but it sounds bad to me when I hear myself tell people.

aly&sam · September 2014

I'm not quite sure yet but I believe I may be suffering from PPA. I've always had bad anxiety since I was very young and then suffered from bad depression as a teen. I was never on meds but had been prescribed them. I will probably be bringing it up to my ob if it continues.

jenniferurs · September 2014

raquelynn714 said:

I was feeling trapped by my body and the BF schedule... Not sure if it was PPD or just depression/frustration related to a situation I wasn't anticipating. My LC suggested pumping on a 4/5 hour schedule in contrast to LO's 3 hour feeding schedule. I have so much more flexibility to leave the house and leave LO w a baby sitter which relieved my despair (I managed to get my pumping to a 4-8 hour schedule and I can still produce more than enough to feed). I'm trying to get over feeling guilty for honestly hating the BF process... I know I shouldn't feel bad for virtually exclusively pumping by choice, but it sounds bad to me when I hear myself tell people.

I've never understood why someone would feel bad about this. You're still giving your LO breast milk and I feel like that's more than good enough!

marathonmommy82 · September 2014

@weeklyplanner‌, yes, EBF. The LC and pedi said that those meds are okay...

I've also struggled w anxiety for years... started having panic attacks in college (15 years ago). Normally I'm on 5mg Lexapro

BabyM82714 · September 2014

I'm not sure I'm here every day. But I've really been struggling with trying to find my identity outside of being mom... I'm 21 and BF is 23 and we are the first to have kids besides one friend. Its really a hard transisition to make. And our friends don't understand that we are exhausted and that LO can't be out doing activities or visits ALL day without being cranky. Not being able to have sex yet really feels like it is not helping with our lack of connections. I need that back. Once we find our new normal and learn to embrace it I think we will be good.

raquelynn714 · September 2014

@weeklyplanner‌ at first I pumped with every feed. I was also anxious about not pumping enough milk, so I made sure to pump at least as much as he needed to eat. (Generally, the number of ounces of breast milk newborns need to eat in a 24 hour period is their weight in pounds x 2.5). Since my son was 9lbs at birth, I made sure to feed/pump at least 22.5 oz of milk. If I knew I could pump 2oz each session, it would take me 11 pumping sessions to get 22oz. Respectively, if I knew I could pump 3oz each session, 8 pumping sessions would get me 24oz of milk-yay, some to spare! I've slowly been decreasing the # of pumping sessions - right now I pump 4-5 times daily (4-7 oz each session. I get 7oz in the morning bc LO started sleeping through the night and I don't wake up to pump for a long time through the night).

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