- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Working Moms
potbellypig
member
kid's perception of parent's smart phone
potbellypig
member
in Working Moms
I'm wondering what your experiences have been regarding kids and parental use of smart phones.
When DD was a baby, I always had my iphone in my hand while nursing, watching her play, etc because doing that stuff all day gets boring without a distraction. When she was about 18 months, we were in my bedroom heading to the kitchen, and I left my phone behind. She noticed and started screaming and crying, pointing to my phone and saying "mommy, your phone!!" as though I had cut off my right hand. It startled me into realizing that I needed to use my phone less around her. I have been much better about this, but of course I still have my phone with me around her for occasional to somewhat often texting, taking pictures, browsing etc. This is more than I wish I did. If I leave my phone behind she will sometimes say "Mommy, you forgot your phone" now (she is 2 1/2) but that's about it.
At the store the other day, I was in the aisle and over heard a preteen boy talking to his mom about his first day of school, and when he was done talking he said "let me guess, you weren't listening" because she was on her phone, and she said something about needing to look something up, which I totally get and do all of the time...but it broke my heart for the boy and made me worry about what smart phones are doing to parent/child relationships (not in general terms, I was mostly thinking of myself and my kids).
Does anyone else worry about this? Have you come up with rules for yourself for limiting smartphone use around your kids? Or is this just how things are now?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: kid's perception of parent's smart phone
God Bless You my Little One
Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
Farida, at 8 weeks
And to the point of work not being able to stay at work, I agree. I had a client texting me at 915pm last night. I am very newly pregnant and exhausted and was in bed..and I had to get up to get to my computer to respond to something. I was SO MAD. I am in the office from 6:45am until 445pm every single day. I think I am entitled to have the hours of 545pm to 9pm when I go to bed just me mine and my familys. apprently thats asking too much. ***VENT OVER***
Nah, I just hand him the tablet so he lets mommy play Farm Heroes in peace.
(sarcasm)
We both use our phones a lot. That's just how it is. We are present when engaging DS but I can't toss my phone in my purse and forget it's existence until DS goes to bed.
As far as ideal to leave work at work, that just isn't realistic. I could work longer hours or deal with emails at night. Being accessible 24/7 means I can step away from the office more easily and be more available for daytime activities with DS.
It's something I definitely try to stay mindful of, because like a pp said my DH is bad about getting sucked into his devices and becoming totally non-responsive. I don't want to do that. But also, I don't think it is necessary or even makes sense to be 100% focused on the kids every second of their awake time. Whether it's a device or a magazine or just staring out the window, sometimes I need a mental change of gears. I know I will likely be interrupted, though, so I don't get too involved in anything when the kids are around that I'm not willing to drop at a moment's notice.
If I am spending too much time looking at my phone, my 3 year old tells me. He has asked me to put my phone down and pay attention to him before. I did. I don't see it as being much different than him asking me to put my book down, or when he asks me to stop playing with his sister and listen to him, or when he tells DH that he's wasting time making dinner when he should be playing with him. Just a part of life.
With a previous employer I did have a self-imposed rule that I couldn't touch my phone except to take and make calls to family from 6-9 pm. My boss would regularly text me and my west coast clients who were in the midst of their work day would email and I was spending too much time responding when I needed and wanted to be enjoying my few hours of family time.
We are rarely on our phones when we are with DS. The partners and associates I work with know that during evenings and weekends, they can call me if something is urgent. Otherwise, I go to another room and check my phone every hour or two and deal with any emails during that time. If it's just DS and I, I'd tell him that mommy needs to check her phone for a few minutes and do that quickly. It's easier for me because I'm not very technology-inclined and I only ever use my phone for work/emails and browsing the net, and browsing the net can always wait. I don't believe DS needs to feel that we are spending 100% of our attention on him, but I'd rather he see me cleaning up the house, reading, or talking to DH, than emailing/playing on my phone. Since I don't do it often, when I tell DS that I need a few minutes on the phone, he is very good about it and would generally just leave me alone.
Throwing leaves