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Drinking problems...

equestriandivaequestriandiva member
in Pregnant after a Loss
I'm about to visit my husband's family.  We always tend to drink quite a bit with his parents and it'll be suspicious if I don't, but after a loss we def aren't wanting to tell people since I'm only 4 weeks along!  I'm not worried about when we're not at a restaurant because my husband and I have a plan where I'll hold a beer can while he chugs one down, we switch and I'll rinse the empty can out and just keep filled with water. But I don't know what to do AT restaurants.. his parents always pick up the tab so if i "go to the bathroom" to ask the bartender to keep mine virgin they'll know when paying, plus very small town where everyone knows everyone.  I only have to survive a few meals out (right now we're at at least 2) but I'm not sure what to do so any advice helps.  Thanks!!!
BFP #1 on 1/10/14. M/C on 3/3/14
BFP #2 on 9/3/14. EDD 5/14/15

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Re: Drinking problems...

  • christia10christia10 member
    1. Your on a diet and are only drinking water due to extra calories.

    2. Have DH order same drink as you and strategically switch drinks.

    3. Tell them your on meds and can't drink.

    4. Fake a headache and get out of dinner plans.

    5. Say you have a big important thing very early tomorrow and can't drink.
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  • equestriandivaequestriandiva member
    1-3 might help!  Can't really get out of going and I definitely won't have plans since we're going up there just to spend time with them and we haven't been there since before we got married almost 6 years ago.  But I'm health conscious and they're well aware of that so could definitely help.
    BFP #1 on 1/10/14. M/C on 3/3/14
    BFP #2 on 9/3/14. EDD 5/14/15

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  • carlsonbaby2014carlsonbaby2014 member
    I found that the "I'm on medicine right now that I can't mix with alcohol" helped a lot.  NO one wants to be the jackass that says "oh, no, you'll be fine" - so that worked well for me until I was comfortable with telling people about this pregnancy.  Also, in my experience, the working up I did over "what am I going to do if they start getting suspicious as to why I'm not drinking" was worse in my head than how it really went down. Good luck!!!
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
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  • sgio7485sgio7485 member
    I always went the "I'm on medication" route. No one questioned!
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    BFP #1 10/5/13 MMC 11/13/13 D&C 11/15/13
    BFP #2 5/14/14 EDD 1/19/15 Beta 1: 728 Beta 2: 1858 We have a heartbeat! 166 @ 7w3d  Please be our RAINBOW!
    Baby G is a BOY!

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  • TheFutureMrsDTheFutureMrsD member
    The "I'm on medication" route works.  And, I can tell you @carlsonbaby2014 is right about working it up bigger in your head.  We had a big work dinner where the drinks were flowing freely when I was about 8 weeks along and even though a few people knew and knew about my previous losses, I was still super nervous everyone would "figure it out." When I finally told everyone a few weeks later, they all said they had no idea; they just thought I wasn't feeling great that night.
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    EDD 2- Nov 2014; Stopped Growing at 6w; D&C April 2, 2013
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  • E&B0811E&B0811 member
    Another vote for the medicine and alcohol don't mix route. I would sometimes say "I'm taking a prescription that the doctor suggested I not mix with alcohol". Not a lie because my prenatals are Rx and the doctor did say no alcohol.

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    BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.

    BFP#2 11/6/2013.  CP 11/14/2013.  

    BFP #3 12/13/2013.  Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27.  Beta #2 @17dpo - 90.  CP 12/21/2013

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:6-7

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  • christia10christia10 member
    Later on you could even work this into your PG announcement with them I.e. The meds you were on were prenatals!
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  • Danielle0311Danielle0311 member
    Definitely another vote for the meds excuse.. Worked for me !

    Me (30) DH (31) Married 5/13, TTC since 2/13
    BFP #1 Blighted Ovum resulting in D&C on 11/1/13
    BFP #2 Ectopic Pg, lap surgery on 3/12/14, R tube removed

    BFP # 3, EDD 2/21/15 * please be our rainbow*
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  • ASRDHASRDH member
    Love this thread. Thanks Girls!
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  • JuddandJessicaJuddandJessica member
    I like to get to restaurants early and tell the waiter that I will be ordering "drinks" all night. Explain that you are pregnant but being sneaky and every "drink" you order really needs to be the non-alcoholic version. Then pig out on a few girly mixed drinks. Normally if someone else gets the tab, they either won't notice or won't mention that it's a little cheaper than expected.

    BPF 1. Baby Girl "Petri" 12/22/11 Said goodbye 12/27/11

    BPF 2. Baby Boy "Roo" 1/20/12 Heartbeat 160b/m 2/15/12 Said goodbye 2/20/12

    BPF 3. Rainbow Baby Boy "Creed"  4/28/12 Born healthy and alive 1/5/13

    BFP 4. "Rainbow 2.0" 8/17/14 due 4/28/15

     

    "Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you a thousand years. I love you a thousand more."

     

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  • RustyGirl3RustyGirl3 member
    I am going to be in this same predicament when we go away with DH's family for Columbus Day weekend.

    My BIL has property in upstate NY and we all go there every year and we all usually bring some kind of alcoholic beverages to share and someone always brings something new for everyone to try.

    DH's family is extremely attentive and ask what I am drinking at every family function because they want to know if I am pregnant.  It's a bit annoying actually.  They can't seem to grasp the idea of keeping their thoughts to themselves.  I love them all, but this drives me crazy.

    I will have to pretend to be drinking when they are all drinking and hope they don't want a sip of what I have. 

    Good Luck!
    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Helen Keller

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    DD#1- Sweet Pea ~ Born on her Due Date 3/1/2007
    DD#2- Pumpkin ~ Due 9/29/2010 Arrived 10/1/2010
    ~ BFP: 6/12/2013 EDD: 2/21/2014 NT Scan: 8/5/2013 (11w3d) MMC D&C: 8/8/2013 ~

    ~BFP: 3/15/2014 EDD: 11/24/2014 CP 4 weeks 4 days ~

    ~BFP: 7/2/2014 EDD: 3/15/2015 CP 4 weeks ~

    ~BFP: 8/31/2014 EDD: 5/10/2015

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  • BigbonededBigboneded member
    What med? Metronidazole (Flagyl) is an antibiotic you cannot have alcohol with, if that helps...
    Also, I in the past have just had water/ club soda days with my in laws at dinner, if I had overindulged recently, theyd laugh a little but let me be soft drink girl :-)
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