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is this normal? *mental health in question*

sugarstar1784sugarstar1784 member
edited August 2014 in Late Term and Child Loss
Hey. I am feeling pretty alone and kind of helpless and hopeless. I have the typical things of grief: anger, depression, denial, etc. But most of the time, I forget that I was pregnant. It doesn't feel real. Until I see the nursery door shut, and our little urn and teddy bears. But I get a feeling of things not being real. And nothing is soothing the pain that used to. I used to enjoy wine, ice cream, cuddling. Those things don't touch what I'm feeling. 
I'm not sure. 
I go between numb and angry and scared and really hopeless and okay and then back again. 

*Said goodbye to our angel baby July 30. 2014. only had him for 21 weeks in my belly, missing him every day*
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Re: is this normal? *mental health in question*

  • msunshine123msunshine123 member
    Big hugs to you - I think your normal, but it doesn't hurt to talk to a professional too if you haven't tried that yet. Our counselor and support group have helped us a lot with the roller coaster we are all on. I agree with you about how sometimes it doesn't seem real. As my body continues to return to it's pre-pregnancy state I too find myself wondering was it really just a bad dream. But I know it's not. I have my precious son's pictures and ashes. I love him so much and am so happy I had him for the time I did. I just wish I still had him here with me, but I do believe he is always with me watching over my husband and I.
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  • lexusolsenlexusolsen member
    I think the fact that you don't enjoy (even a little) the things that you normally enjoy might be a red flag. I'm not saying those things can "fix" your grief, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional.
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  • diamante1181diamante1181 member
    It seems that for the most part, what you are experiencing is normal. I agree with pp that it might help to also talk to a professional about it, just to check. There have been times where I have surprised myself and had to 'remind' myself that I was pregnant x weeks/months ago/etc. where I almost felt too normal, whereas other times I have felt on the brink of a breakdown because I was so overwhelmed with sadness, it felt as though there was a vice grip on my heart. With everything loss parents have to go through, it's no wonder that it's so much to bear it can cause you to question your own sanity. You are not alone in this. Sending lots of love and hugs.
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
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  • shandorfml2shandorfml2 member
    ****Siggy

    Death of our baby is so overwhelming, our brains will try and protect us by shutting off/dissasociating. While it can be normal (i experienced this too) counseling or a support group can be helpful

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  • sugarstar1784sugarstar1784 member
    Thank you all for your support, time and time again.
    I see the perinatal (odd, huh?) psychiatrist today at 130pm
    Wish me luck!


    *Said goodbye to our angel baby July 30. 2014. only had him for 21 weeks in my belly, missing him every day*
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  • VyD81VyD81 member
    *siggy warning*

    I hope you will get the coping mechanism you need, losing a baby is the most devastating thing a person can go through and many of us cope differently. I'm glad you're going to see a professional. I went to both group support and psychologist and I found that the psychologist helped me found ways to cope.

    GL. 
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    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

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  • OSUWifey09OSUWifey09 member
    ***SIGGY***


    I hope yesterday went well and that you are feeling better today. I remember feeling that way, too - I still get that way sometimes, two years after my loss. Lots of luck. *hugs*






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  • sugarstar1784sugarstar1784 member
    Thank you again... Turns out this loss has triggered some of my previously (hidden) mental health issues :(

    *Said goodbye to our angel baby July 30. 2014. only had him for 21 weeks in my belly, missing him every day*
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  • lexusolsenlexusolsen member
    sugarstar1784 said:

    Thank you again... Turns out this loss has triggered some of my previously (hidden) mental health issues :(


    I'm so sorry. Grieving a child is hard enough on it's own. I'm glad you are getting help.
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  • msunshine123msunshine123 member
    lexusolsen said:

    sugarstar1784 said:

    Thank you again... Turns out this loss has triggered some of my previously (hidden) mental health issues :(


    I'm so sorry. Grieving a child is hard enough on it's own. I'm glad you are getting help.
    I just want to echo @lexusolsen - she said it so well ((hugs))
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