Co-sleeping

lcloffredo · September 2014

Hey all I mostly lurk here lately but I was wondering if anybody has co-slept with twins. I know it's a controversial topic but I co-slept with my daughter and don't want the debate, just advice for how to co-sleep/nurse at night in bed with twins. There are a ton of books about doing this with one baby but haven't seen any about having two babies.

persephonerose · September 2014

Co-sleep or bed share? We currently bed share with DS1 and have since he was around 7m. I jokingly told DH that I hope the twins sleep well in the crib (in our room) because I am not sure our bed could handle two more.

We currently have a queen and a twin right next to each other. DS1 flips around a lot in his sleep so I just can't imagine how bed sharing would work with him and twins. In our set up I had considered the twins next to the wall, then me, then DS1, then DH (if that makes any sense). But I feel like the positioning for the twins would be off/unsafe because there is really just a small area that most bed sharing advocates suggest.

Rynleigh · September 2014

Do not bedshare with infants under 6 months old. Just don't. Especially not with twins, especially not if they come home earlier than term. Get an arm's reach cosleeper or something meant specifically for cosleeping safely.

LittleLady77 · September 2014

Bed sharing actually has some wonderful benefits if you do it correctly. I don't think it's fair to tell people not to do it. It's not for me personally but I know a few families who've loved bed sharing. It would be super hard with twins. Recently when my guys were sick I fell asleep with them at nap time. We have a 3 inch futon on my living room floor and we slept on that with no blankets. Even that was scary for me. Best of luck in whatever you decide.

BabyKsMommy · September 2014

I also still bed share with my ds. I waited till he was about 3 months to start doing it. I'm thinking I'll wait the same amount of time for the twins depending on how big they are and how comfortable I am with it at that time. But I'm getting rnps for next to my bed for the first few months.

carrotcake06 · September 2014

We don't bed share, but I'm not against it (when done safely of course). I'm trying to wrap my head around bed sharing w twins and I just don't know. I think I'd want a setup like PP w two mattresses next to each other for the space, maybe even on the floor?

Also, perhaps this is possible w the right set of boobs, but no way could I tandem nurse side-lying.

rachelkongsore@hotmail.com · September 2014

Starting at about three months i would let whichever twin I had just nursed during the night sleep with me after side lying nursing. If the other twin woke I'd put the other one back in the co sleeper and switch them out. I love nursing and falling asleep with them. Up until then I was waking them to eat and tandem nursing on the breast friend. I found nursing one at a time and sleeping with them so much more enjoyable and restful. I plan on doing this again bit starting as soon as they are proficient nursers.

karah4816 · September 2014

I was really thinking about giving it a shot recently but never ended up taking the plunge. we only have a queen and my husband seems to take up most of it. we did get a bed rail so that if one twin is having a rough night I can bring them to bed with me. I've done that quite a few times but never felt comfortable bringing both of them in since one would have to go between my husband and I

CNYBride05 · September 2014

We bed share and have since about 7mos. We recently got a king (had had a queen prior) and it's still a bit squishy sometimes! I wonder if the girls might sleep better on their own, but getting there would require more sleepless time so we just keep em in bed with us. I like it except when I just want to lie on my belly and sleep!

ETA logistics - I have 1 girl on either side of me (so one between me and DH and one on the outside of the bed. The bed is either flush with the wall (old arrangement) or low enough that a roll off would be fine and has pillows on the floor. 6 mos of bed sharing and no rolls off yet

. I know people have VERY strong feelings about bed sharing and generally those opposed have scary and sad stories to tell. It doesn't work for everyone but absolutely can be done safely.

thiscoffeechick · September 2014

persephonerose said:
Co-sleep or bed share? We currently bed share with DS1 and have since he was around 7m. I jokingly told DH that I hope the twins sleep well in the crib (in our room) because I am not sure our bed could handle two more.

We currently have a queen and a twin right next to each other. DS1 flips around a lot in his sleep so I just can't imagine how bed sharing would work with him and twins. In our set up I had considered the twins next to the wall, then me, then DS1, then DH (if that makes any sense). But I feel like the positioning for the twins would be off/unsafe because there is really just a small area that most bed sharing advocates suggest.

@persephonerose‌
PLEASE re-consider this. A dear friend of mine lost her 10 month old baby because she had positioned him on the side of the bed against the wall and he rolled between the bed and wall and was crushed.

persephonerose · September 2014

lauraneedscoffee said:

Co-sleep or bed share? We currently bed share with DS1 and have since he was around 7m. I jokingly told DH that I hope the twins sleep well in the crib (in our room) because I am not sure our bed could handle two more.

We currently have a queen and a twin right next to each other. DS1 flips around a lot in his sleep so I just can't imagine how bed sharing would work with him and twins. In our set up I had considered the twins next to the wall, then me, then DS1, then DH (if that makes any sense). But I feel like the positioning for the twins would be off/unsafe because there is really just a small area that most bed sharing advocates suggest.
@persephonerose‌ PLEASE re-consider this. A dear friend of mine lost her 10 month old baby because she had positioned him on the side of the bed against the wall and he rolled between the bed and wall and was crushed.

I am unsure which part you wish me to reconsider.

If you read my post you will see that while I talk about a set up that includes putting the twins near the wall I state I don't feel it is safe because of spacing based on what bed sharing advocates suggest for nursing babies.

basil2 · September 2014

We bed share, but only with one baby at a time. More than one just doesn't seem safe. On a few occasions DH has gone to another bed so I have enough room to put one on either side of me, but it's always made me nervous (if I'm on my side to nurse one, I can't see what position the other is in behind me).

As to nursing 2 on your side- there's a photo in the La Leche League multiples book of this- babies feet point opposite directions. I tried it one time- not only was it impossible to get them both positioned- it felt horribly dangerous- I fall asleep nursing on my side- doing so with 2 babies and pillows all crammed up against me seemed like a pretty bad idea.

As to 3 months seeming safer- please keep in mind- SIDS risk peaks about then- if you're going to bed share at that age do it carefully.

lcloffredo · September 2014

I did bed share with DD first I would get up and nurse sitting, then that because easy and we were practicing side lying during the day. When she was about 2 months old we started bedsharing and it worked out great. I loved it and (following all the guidelines like I did the first time) I would love to do it again with the twins. My DD sleeps in her own bed most of the time now. If she wants to sleep in our bed then she can but gets moved to her own bed now that I'm pregnant to avoid kicks in the stomach. Thanks for all the tips. I will have to see what ends up working.

auntjessy · September 2014

I did with my twins, they're now 5 months and fine. I had the bed against the wall, tucked pool noodles under the fitted sheet up against the wall to block any gaps that may present themselves and again at the head of the bed. My DH slept in another room so he could get up for work anyway, so I camped out in the guest room with the babies. They slept sideways in the bed, with their heads by the wall and their feet pointing towards me. As soon as my daughter started trying to roll over I moved her to a RNP so I could keep her swaddled safely to sleep. About a month ago, I transitioned my son to a crib in the same room and he's doing well there. Daughter still prefers the RNP, but I'm reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins" right now and it's helping me a lot.

I'd definitely take into consideration your own sleeping habits as well. I don't move AT ALL in my sleep. I wake up in exactly the same position as when I fell asleep, every time. I also wake very easily with each little movement or sound from the babies when they're in bed with me. If you've bed shared before, you know that sometimes you don't sleep as well anyway because your brain is paying such close attention to the babies!

It's sad that mothers can be so quick to make judgement on each others' decisions sometimes. Taking care of babies is hard; taking care of twins is REALLY hard. In the end, you'll do what you feel is best for you and your family. Get some rest either way.

Lyndsey13 · September 2014

I always wanted to cosleep with both of them but it just didn't work. They both would start out in their own rooms and sometimes one would end up in my bed. We did go through a phase where one of them slept every night in our room but she always started out in her room. I just couldn't figure it out logistically. Every time I would roll to the other twin, it would wake the first twin. Or if I had a twin in bed with me and needed to get up because her sister woke, then I would wake the baby in my bed. It just never worked out very well.

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