A year ago- a vent

lexusolsen · September 2014

Was the first day of my last menstral cycle, the day that determined his due date. So many things have gone right in the last year- I have a great and fulfilling job, a wonderful support network, a fantastic husband, a healthy daughter... Sometimes I struggle to remember all of that because what I want the most I can't have. I want my son, dammit. I want to say "you two are so crazy" and not mean my dd and our dog.

Thanks for letting me vent

OSUWifey09 · September 2014

***SIGGY***

I remember thinking that when I hit the milestones during that first year. Sometimes, it's hard to remember all the great things when you've got this huge hole in your life where your sweet baby should be. I'm so sorry. **hugs**

princezjk · September 2014

~~~Sig Warning~~~

Just wanted to jump in with some more (((((hugs))))). I remember reading once that the phrase "at least" should never be spoken to a loss mama. No matter how many wonderful things you have in your life, there will always be an important part missing. You should never feel bad for being sad/mad about that. (((((Hugs)))))

stefuge · September 2014

((Hugs)) So many milestones in the first year. There are good memories in there too, but they can be really hard to find (I'm still working on that myself).

Mel&John2013 · September 2014

*********siggy warning

It's hard to appreciate things when there is a huge hole. You're doing the best you can. Sending hugs!

CheesyPeas · September 2014

((hugs)) I too struggle with seeing all of the good in my life when all I can think about is the thing I want more than anything but can't have.

ikrystal · September 2014

**ticker warning**

princezjk said about not saying "at least" to a baby loss mom. Be kind to yourself, you have gone through so much. Vent as much as you need.

luckyclover0922 · September 2014

((Hugs)) to you...

lexusolsen · September 2014

Gastro said:
****siggy****

Hey @lexusolsen . <<<hugs>>>
I'm so sorry. I think of you often. You have incredible strength and a giving heart. It's so hard to make sense of why.
This week has been hard for me - everyone seems to be pregnant (on our other board, a bunch of my friends....). Today a friend announced on IG she was pregnant and I felt so angry and annoyed - it shocked me I felt that way, because until today I've genuinely been happy for all the announcements.
Hope all is well today.

Thanks for thinking of me.

@Gastro‌ It does seem like everyone over there is pregnant! The accidental pregnancies are hardest for me. We waited longer than we wanted so we could be financially prepared, timed it carefully to avoid unpaid maternity leave, and here I am without a baby to hold still. I hate driving my minivan empty or just with dd. Seems like such a waste.

My fb and IG are so boring now. I've hidden almost anyone who had a baby around when we had Ben or when he was due! Not much left.

Some days the announcements and pictures are no biggie, but others they are crushing. I'm thinking of you!

msunshine123 · September 2014

Big hugs to you! "what I want most I can't have" matches my thoughts too. Nothing can ever replace your precious son.

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