What's your opinion of labor coaches?

NeonNoon · September 2014

Currently, I'm not planning on hiring one. Do you plan on using one? Non-FTMs, what did you do with your other births?

mandyreads · September 2014

Labor coach? Does hubs count? Lol Because with all 3 of mine he was by my side. The only other coach I want is the anesthesiologist pumping me full of meds since he didn't make it in time with my youngest.

NeonNoon · September 2014

Yeah.. like a doula or midwife. They reportedly reduce the chances of a C-section and help you with various birthing positions and keep you comfortable. I think if you're birthing outside of a hospital, it makes sense to have someone around. Otherwise, I think it's excessive - but what do I know?

mandyreads · September 2014

Ah. I thought you meant someone to cheer you on. See how out of touch I am?

leela02 · September 2014

I will have a doula and I'm giving birth in a hospital. I wasn't going to because I can't afford one but my MIL is very pro-doula (my SIL had one for her first and hired the same one for her upcoming 2nd) and offered to hire one for me if I find someone I like.

I think if you find a doula/midwife you get along with they can be especially helpful in a hospital setting, especially if you end up being there for many hours. They stay with you the whole time so your other support people (husband, etc.) can take breaks (to eat, etc.) without leaving you alone. In the hospital where I'm delivering you have to share your nurses with another patient most of the time and the doctor usually only comes around at the end.

Also my hospital's childbirth class recommends that for your own comfort stay home for as long as possible before going there. If you get there too early in labor you'll just end up waiting around without a room. A doula/midwife can support you and help hubs give you comfort while you're still at home.

MsMacual · September 2014

I'm all for both and think that depending on your situation, personality, etc there is value in hiring a doula. I chose to use a MW group for both kids and did not hire a doula for either (or haven't yet for #2). The MW that attended our first son's birth did a lot of coaching along with the 2 or 3 L&D nurses that were in the room. I am a pretty determined and independent person so I didn't feel like I needed another person to help advocate for me besides my husband, which is why I didn't hire a doula (we also didn't take a birth class with either kid).

I have been slowly preparing for #2 by rereading several books that I thought were helpful. I've also reviewed a few blogs and websites that included information that was inline with the type of birth that we are planning. I'll labor at home for a while (I was at home for the first 4ish hours with #1 and was 10 cm when I got to the hospital), but will likely head to the hospital sooner this time as we are planning a water birth and I want to make sure that I'm there before I'm 10 cm! I did fine laboring at home- just sat on my exercise ball and wrote thank you notes for our shower gifts.

NeonNoon · September 2014

How does that work @MsMacual? Does the MW set up the water birth for you or does the hospital do it? And do you know if the MW services are covered by your insurance? I know it's hit and miss with doulas in terms of reimbursement.

itsmevkb · September 2014

I'm the sort of person that just gets mad when people are doing that sorta fake cheering you on thing. I can't stand it. So, absolutely no doula for me and honestly, if I could get the nurses to not say anything I would pay extra. The only person I want there is my husband and even him I don't want saying anything like "I'm so proud of you" or "you're doing so great" or "you're so brave." All I want to hear is someone say "the anesthesiologist is on the way" or alternatively, "damn, that looks like it hurts, a lot, sucks you couldn't get an epidural." (two of my births were so fast that I barely made it to the hospital and there was no time for an epidural)

mandyreads · September 2014

@itsmevkb‌ That is what I am talking about. I told hubs I want to be hooked up at least 3 days before giving birth to assure I get my epidural. I went into labor so quick the anesthesiologist walked in and the nurse said no time. I cried harder when I heard that. I want that epidural!!!

topaz7777 · September 2014

I didn't use a doula because my sister came to help with me and DH. She had already had her own baby and knew a thing or two about helping me out. I did have a friend that used a doula and was very happy with her. She was able to rub her back during labor and knew things that would make her more comfortable that the nurses didn't bother with and that her DH didn't know a thing about. She was also able to help with delivery. I mean you have two legs, if DH has one, do you want some nurse you don't know holding the other or a doula?

I won't be using one this time either. Partly because I don't want to pay the extra cost, but also because it's not as scary for me this time and DH knows a thing or two now.

MsMacual · September 2014

NeonNoon said:

How does that work @MsMacual? Does the MW set up the water birth for you or does the hospital do it? And do you know if the MW services are covered by your insurance? I know it's hit and miss with doulas in terms of reimbursement.

In our case, our hospital offers water births and my MWs are part of an OB practice and have privileges at our hospital (this was the same case for the MW group that I used with our first son). I'll just call their on call number when I'm in labor and we'll determine the best time for me to move from home to the hospital. They said they will start filling the tub once they know I'm on my way and it should be ready once I get checked in. Our insurance has really good maternaity coverage so everything will be covered 100% b/c we are in network. I think that we could also get partial coverage if we used a MW at a free standing birth center, but both in our area aren't very close to our house so it didn't really make sense for us to go that route. I never checked to see if our insurance covers part or all of the cost of a doula- I wouldn't be surprised if they do.

My cousin did a home birth with a MW and had everything set up for a water birth. She said that she wasn't as comfortable as she thought she would be in the tub and ended out giving birth outside of the tub. I'm not sure what she paid for her birth, but I am fairly certain that she paid part of it out of pocket. I'm also not sure how that compared to her insurance coverage as it is pretty common to have a co pay/deductible kick in for a birth.

WormyGo · September 2014

I'm a FTM and we are hiring a doula. My husband is the bad combo of really squeamish and tends to get upset when I'm in pain. We met with a group of doulas who specifically work with the hospital we are giving birth at so they know all the nurses and the system there. I personally find it reassuring to know that there will be someone there who knows lots of massage and other pain techniques that will be focussed solely on me and my husband. Because our prenatal and delivery is entirely free for us the $500 seems like little to pay. Where we are we don't have many options for MW who deliver in the hospital and I'm just not comfortable with a home birth personally. I think if I had a MW in the hospital I wouldn't be getting the doula.

supersarah77 · September 2014

We hired a doula the first time and we're definitely doing it for this one. I say "we" because she was support for both DH and I. As PP said, she gave him a break so he could be there for me when I needed him.... my labor ended up being a whopping 42 hours! She didn't ever "cheer," she was just the calm wisdom in a potentially stressful situation. She really made me feel confident and as relaxed as I could feel. My labor stalled at two different points and she helped me get into positions and do movements that helped my labor start up again without the need for medical intervention. A nurse midwife delivered DD1, and she was great, however, she was focused more on baby's health and my health. The medical stuff. Man we were so grateful to have our doula!

A friend had a home birth that was attended by a midwife, and she didn't hire a doula because she thought the midwife would be enough. She's pregnant with #2 now and plans to hire a doula for another home birth because the midwife is more focused on the health of mama and baby, same experience as me.

That said, there are certainly many effective options for labor and delivery, and thank goodness for that!

anonymousmotley · September 2014

This is my 3rd baby and I hadn't heard of a doula for the first 2. I've seen their work on Birth Stories and it seems nice to have someone there to give you massage and generally make you feel better. I like the idea, but it's not for me. I am far too controlling and fiercely independent to have someone touching me and talking to me while I'm in pain. Someone is liable to end up with a black eye or deaf! LOL All I want is an epidural! I've never even considered natural child birth but I certainly applaud the women that do!!!

It's all a personal choice and I wish you the best of luck!

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