Pregnancy Struggles while on a very demanding job!

miriandradjr · September 2014

Hi all,

My DH and I recently decided we want a baby, but we are both in a very demanding career. Nonetheless, we have a huge family support and caring for out baby wouldn't be an issue. I'm just afraid that if I have pregnancy struggles and my doctor tells me to rest, I will not be able to do it. I basically would have to quit my job if something like that were to happen. Just so you understand, my boss gave me a hard time when I had to take a few days off to take my licensing exam, which is necessary for further growth in my career, which is of course related to the job I'm currently doing. I really don't know what to do.

I know chances are I'm not going to have any problems, but if any of you have dealt with a similar situation, any advice would be appreciated.

shannm · September 2014

I think everything is relative so it hard to know what you mean by "demanding" and "hard time." I find that many people allow themselves and their employers to make the job/career seem more demanding than it actually is or has to be.
This board is filled with hard working ladies in demanding jobs/careers.
My advice, just go for it and deal with it as it comes. (Assuming you can afford childcare.)

TheBorg7of9 · September 2014

How many employees does your employer have? Are you not covered by FMLA?

Eta: anyway, if you were in that situation, you should not quit. Instead, make your employer fire you. First of all, they probably won't because of fear of a lawsuit. Secondly, you would get severance and unemployment.

What's your industry and position?

miriandradjr · September 2014

Demanding means It would certainly have an impact on my future if I have to quit this job. I would most likely not be able to get the job I really want later on. Plus, on my current job I work Saturdays and holidays, in addition to Monday to Friday. I work for long hours and walking around (which is why I fear the "having to rest" part).

Hard time means she wanted to count it as vacation days.

I most likely will give it a try. I guess I was just looking for a comforting answer, but we can never know what will happen.

miriandradjr · September 2014

I work for an university. It's a one-year contract. If they are not satisfied with my work in any way, they just won't hire me next year for the job I really want.

miriandradjr · September 2014

And there is no other employee who could fulfill my duties and theirs at the same time. We are all swamp in work basically. A new person would need to be hired but they definitely won't do that. The maternity leave wouldn't be a problem, because I would already be on the new job, but if I have to rest during the first 2 trimesters, it would be an issue.

TheBorg7of9 · September 2014

Hmmm. Well, if it's year to year indefinitely, then you might as well get pregnant now. If there is good hope for a permanent job in a year, then wait. But also consider your age and how many kids you want.

TheBorg7of9 · September 2014

miriandradjr said:
And there is no other employee who could fulfill my duties and theirs at the same time. We are all swamp in work basically. A new person would need to be hired but they definitely won't do that. The maternity leave wouldn't be a problem, because I would already be on the new job, but if I have to rest during the first 2 trimesters, it would be an issue.

If you are worried about being on bedrest during your first and second trimesters and you're not even pregnant yet... I think you are over thinking it. That is pretty unlikely.

emberlee3 · September 2014

I worked 80 hrs/week when I was pregnant with DS. And I worked 60-70 hrs/week when I was pregnant with DD and had a toddler at home. I had some difficulty in my 2nd trimester with DD, but I was able to continue working without accommodations. My OB would have written for me to be on medical leave, if necessary. I have always worked weekends and holidays, as well as some nights and evenings, and 14+ days in a row, and crazy stuff like that. It's sometimes exhausting, but its usually fine as long as DH can arrange his work schedule to be more flexible.

miriandradjr · September 2014

Not really.. I'm just a worry worm

rodiesmum · September 2014

I know it is hard when ur all stressed out but ull just get all the more stressed when you think of things that could or might happen. Dnt misconstrue, i know you have to have back up plans but since you already know what to do next if push comes to shove then you better take it easy and take it one day at a time.

MommyAtty · September 2014

I work at a place that isn't winning any awards for family-friendliness. Mostly male organization, very hard-charging. They complained about a friend of mine being out of pocket for 5 days when he got married (and those 5 days included a weekend and a holiday, so only 2 work days.). But, there's just something about pregnancy that's different and often brings out the good in people. I worried a lot about how my employer would handle my pregnancy. They were great, and I had 2 within 2 years. I got no flak beyond the normal questions about whether I was going to quit to stay at home.

rockychryslerb2010 · September 2014

MommyAtty said:

I work at a place that isn't winning any awards for family-friendliness. Mostly male organization, very hard-charging. They complained about a friend of mine being out of pocket for 5 days when he got married (and those 5 days included a weekend and a holiday, so only 2 work days.). But, there's just something about pregnancy that's different and often brings out the good in people. I worried a lot about how my employer would handle my pregnancy. They were great, and I had 2 within 2 years. I got no flak beyond the normal questions about whether I was going to quit to stay at home.

This sounds like my company. male dominated industry where working 12+ hr days is pretty typical, and being available 24/7 is expected. I was worried because no one in my group of about 30-40 employees in one region took maternity leave when I had my first. We didn't hire anyone, my work was absorbed by others and non-urgent things waited. I am about to go out on my second leave, and only one other person took leave in the last three years. Again, no one was hired to fill my spot, and it is a combo of about 5-7 people taking over various aspects of my responsibilities.

I think worrying about contingency situations at this point is a little premature. FMLA will protect your job, but it may not be paid. It would be prudent to research company policies so you know whether or not you can afford it, but once you know what is standard for your company, there is not much more you can do. Welcome to being a parent! As much as you may want to plan things, they have their own timetable and agenda, might as well get used to it now!

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