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Intro-Feeling guilty

mrssantos07mrssantos07 member
edited September 2014 in Secondary IF
Here's a little background. DH and I have a really cool 9yo daughter decided to try for baby #2 two years ago and had mirena IUD removed. I found out I was pg in January 2013 but it ended up being a chemical pregnancy, pg again in March 2013 but it was ectopic that was treated with methotrexate, pregnant again in December 2013 but it was another ectopic also treated with methotrexate. We took a break, went with a new OB, who sent me for an hsg which showed blockage in my right tube instead of the left where both ectopics were found, she referred us to a reproductive endocrinologist who found a fibroid that he did not think was a problem but after all testing told us our best chance of getting pregnant would be IVF which will cost us $7,000 and we just can't do it, Here's where I'm hurting and feeling guilty. Last night my husband and I hung out with 2 other couples we are very close with and know what we've gone through. One couple just had a baby in June and have asked us to be the godparents which I am estatic about (they also suffered a MC at the same time of our first ectopic), the other couple just started trying for their first last month and it came out last night that they are expecting. I am so happy for my friends, but I can't help but feel sad for us, we started trying again in June but nothing has happened. I think what made it harder was everyone saying to us "you're next", I know they mean well but it's like a punch in the gut every time someone says something like that or "when are you two gonna have another" "you better hurry up". On top of all that I feel so guilty to be thinking of ourselves when I should just be happy for our friends. I'm also thinking of seeing another reproductive specialist. Thank you so much for reading. I'm so sorry for all you are going through.
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Re: Intro-Feeling guilty

  • FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    Welcome. I am so sorry for your losses and what you've been through. I'm also on TTCAL and there really are many wonderful women there, but mentioning living children is really hard for a few. 2IF or trouble Trying to Conceive a sibling are best if you want to talk openly about your child.



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


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  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    Hello. Sorry for your losses, I also had two ectopic pregnancies fairly recently. Just curios, your RE said your best bet was IVF, which you are unable to do at this time, so how do you plan to move forward with TTC? If you're planning on continuing to try naturally for a while, perhaps you'd like to check out the new TTTCAS board here : https://forums.thebump.com/categories/trouble-ttc-sibling


    This board is geared more towards IUI/IVF cycles, while the new board is accommodating to people at all stages of IF, I believe there are a lot of ladies there still trying naturally, and like @Frenchteachermama mentioned, you can speak freely about your LO there. 


    Good luck 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • MoFreeMoFree member
    I'm sorry for your losses. Your feelings are your feelings and you have nothing to feel guilty about. One of the most painful aspects of IF. Is that not only are we (collective we) unable to expand our families but see it happening so easily and naturally for other people.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

    image

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • mrssantos07mrssantos07 member
    Thank you all and I'm so sorry for your losses. I have finally found the Trouble TTC a sibling board and I'm checking it out as we are currently TTC naturally again before exploring other treatments.
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  • mrssantos07mrssantos07 member
    I'm sorry that's how it was taken but I did not "bash" anyone. I simply wrote that I got flack for mentioning my LC which I did and still am despite several apologies, that I FELT TERRIBLE (about my mistake), and that I hoped this was the right board. I will edit if that's how it was taken.
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