Your line in the sand....

lil_shocker · September 2014

Ladies, I am wondering where you draw your line in the sand when it comes to work.

If you work, what would it take to make you leave your current job (aside from staying home to take care LO because the money earned isn't enough to offset daycare costs, or to spend more time withbaby)?

If you stay at home, what would you need to make the decision to start "working"?

It's something I have been thinking about the last couple weeks and I am curious.

Dumbgurl04 · September 2014

For me i would say if work wasn't understanding with having to leave for appointments or miss work for a sick kid

jj0313 · September 2014

I guess for me it would be around whether or not the sum of all parts re: work were adding to or taking away from my quality of life. There are a lot of specifics that could go into that (pay, commute, flexibility, etc). It's a tough question to answer!

mommymeg143 · September 2014

The amount of hours I was expected to work was what did it for me. My company changed my status to salary via email without increasing my pay and expected me to work 60+ hours a week. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not when my LO gets here. My last day will be on 10/10.

silverwings72 · September 2014

If I wasn't feeling supported by my supervisors or coworkers. If I came home angry every night and couldn't leave work at work. If I spent more time in the car than I did at home with my family.

absolutelymaybe · September 2014

Really, it would come down to money and having something else lined up. I don't think we are financially well off enough where I could just quit my job if I wasn't happy. I mean, we'd survive but it would be enough of a lifestyle change that DH wouldn't support me just quitting and losing the income.

With that said, I might become a SAHM with these twins, but it is definitely going to take some lifestyle changes and figuring stuff out. It won't be a decision we can make lightly.

Maelara · September 2014

To go back to work we would have to be in dire need of money and it would have to be to a job that would still bring money in after the cost of daycare for two kids.

venussapphire · September 2014

I didn't quit but I am on a 6 year family leave from my job. Yes daycare costs and being away from my kids was a big contender. But work was so stressful and I couldn't imagine spending the money for daycare and to be away from my kids to go to a stressful job where I was treated like shit and not respected. No thank you

carcrashheart · September 2014

Quitting was a no brainer once DS came. I wasn't comfortable leaving him while so little and missing out on so much. Now, to go back to work it would need to be enough money to cover daycare for two, with an employer understanding about family needs, and possibly not an office job.

shan24 · September 2014

I love teaching and I can't imagine leaving it. I could see myself switching schools, but to leave the profession completely? Budget cuts would have to continue to the point where it was impossible to do my job effectively. Unfortunately, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if this ends up happening.

JustJainey · September 2014

Winning the lottery! Not only because I am the primary wage-earner with the benefits and pension to consider, but it is also my career. I could potentially see moving to another area of my field, but it would be hard to compete with what I have now.

MamanJones · September 2014

I think many moms consider teaching to be the "ideal" profession for having children. And It's all I ever wanted to do. In the past 7-8 years I've really invested a lot to establish myself and my French program at our school- Master's degree, National Board Certification, starting a French honor society, connecting with other schools, bringing a new method to our district, plus with the pension and benefits, if anyone stays home it will be my husband.

But if it's too much I will give up my position as District Coordinator (fancy title for dept chair) I think if I did that, I would feel as though just teaching was working part time!

Unless of course we win the lottery :-) In which case I start an immersion language school in the area where my children will attend.

hiketheworld · September 2014

I am considering leaving my job but not to stay at home. For me, DH and I have very demanding jobs and if we both kept them as-is our kid would be raised by a nanny. That isn't what we want so something must change.

I have a lot of student debt and make a lot of money so leaving the workforce entirely isn't practical. I may return to work part time (which would be about 40hrs week) or we will be moving across the country and finding more family friendly jobs in a less expensive place to live.

jmichlik · September 2014

JustJainey said:

Winning the lottery! Not only because I am the primary wage-earner with the benefits and pension to consider, but it is also my career. I could potentially see moving to another area of my field, but it would be hard to compete with what I have now.

This describes my situation almost exactly, I am also the primary wage-earner and both DH and I and soon baby will be on my benefits since they are better. Also I really like my job, the people I work with are awesome, the work is interesting, and the pay is really good, I would have to be a fool to leave.

lesliegolem · September 2014

We were planning on me keeping my job but they eliminated my department so I'm doing something I hate. Then I have worked remotely for 4 years and they're eliminating that now too. Definitely that was my line in the sand for this job. We're not 100% sure I'm quitting yet but I'd say we're more than 70%. Even if I stay home for 6 months then find a different job I don't think I'll be going back to this one after maternity leave. We'll see but the two reasons I loved my job are gone. Plus we don't feel comfortable putting baby in daycare at 6 weeks old. Because of my hours now I don't qualify for FMLA so I'm only allowed 6 weeks unpaid. I took 3 months with my first and that didn't feel like enough! Especially since I had healing issues (2nd degree tear didn't heal right, then Dr didn't fix right, it sucked lol).

This is an interesting thread! I really had no idea my job would even be in question this close to when my baby is born. Guess everything happens for a reason!

lil_shocker · September 2014

I love the variety of responses! Thanks for sharing everyone.

snarkylibrarian · September 2014

I don't think I would ever quit my job without another one lined up, unless there was a major safety or harassment situation going on. Then I would pursue legal options while looking for another one. If one of us were to stay home, it would probably be DH, since I have a more advanced degree and am still working to advance my career and get promoted. He is not really attached to his job, but mine is a huge part of my identity. Parts of my job are stressful and really suck (understaffing, bureaucratic red tape, etc), but in general, I love being a youth services librarian!

moroccojade · September 2014

I had an amazing year of mat leave with my first daughter. I dreaded going back to work. But I went back half time... Juggled my hours so we only needed a half day of child care. Then I went to 3/4 time a few months later... and then full time once she was 2. I still managed to keep her out of daycare FT till she was 3.

Now she is 7. Those four years of working very full time with her in daycare (or school!) weren't great. I really feel like my demanding career and my business on the side actually damaged my relationship with her.

I did my best with the time and energy I'd had. But I knew it wasn't enough.

Then I'd had it. I quit my job at the end of June. I still have my business, but that is on my terms. I barely put in 12 hours a week for it.

It is taking time to become "friends" with my daughter again. I felt like I had become her chauffeur, chef, activities coordinator and drill sargeant. It has been good to have time to just learn to hang out and have fun together again on a regular, day to day basis once again. I realized how much I miss her -- and worse, I realized how much she missed me.

I am so glad I was able to do this before this next baby comes. And I sincerely hope that I won't have to work more than 20 hours a week till this second one is in kindergarten. And after that? It won't be at a job where I am so drained when I get home from giving so much to others that I don't have much heart left for my own family.

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