Recently off the pill and no CM, am I not ovulating and should I be worried?

rebecca+matt · August 2014

Hi all,
Forgive me if my freak out is a total rookie mistake here on the boards, but I just wanted some advice and some affirmation I'm not crazy

I went off the pill about 2 months ago. Didn't get pregnant the first month, and honestly didn't expect to. Well this month I tried to be a little more focused on watching my cycle and my body, and I noticed no CM whatsoever. Before I went on the pill (3 years ago) it was like clockwork. And this month nothing. I had some incredibly light spotting 7DPO and 12 DPO and today AF has arrive right on schedule. I'm just a tad concerned because I never had spotting before the pill and ALWAYS had CM before the pill. Should I just take a chill pill and give myself a few months for my body to regulate? Even better question, is there anything I can be doing to encourage my body to get back to normal again? DH has basically forbidden me from charting or doing kits to make sure I am in fact ovulating, he' worried I'll get obsessed...and probably rightly so

lol. But basically I have no way of knowing for sure that I'm ovulating or not and I'm not getting an indication that I am, so I'm just a little worried. Help!

mandy522 · August 2014

You need to have a conversation with your DH about what he can and can't "forbid" you to do. If you let him dictate that you can't chart, then no, there's no way for you to know for sure that you're ovulating. Sorry. OPKs will help you figure out if you're having LH surges and CM will tell you if have fertile CM, but the only want to confirm ovulation is temping or an ultrasound.

allisong1187 · August 2014

What everyone else said. Also, temping is an amazing way to understand how your body works. I don't know how it could become obsessive.

KatzKiss · August 2014

I don't understand why so many women on here have husbands that tell them not to chart. I would explain to him why you need to do it and that it's the best way for you to get pregnant. If he still insists, then I would honestly ask him if he is ready for a baby.

DeerNHeadlights · August 2014

Here. This is what I do to chill out.

I agree with everything pp have said.

Edited: tried to fix gif

rebecca+matt · August 2014

I should clarify before ya'll think I'm a doormat married to a controlling jerk...LOL
DH is worried that I will become obsessed with charting and everything that goes along with it and just wants us to 'relax and enjoy it' for a bit. His words were something like "I really don't want you doing that, it's only going to stress you out more."
I'm trying to honor that at least for a little bit, but after I expressed these fears he agreed that it would be good to at the very least do a kit if I don't get any CM this month.
He really is awesome! He's trying his best to be supportive and keep me relaxed, but seriously, if he (or anyone else...) says 'just relax and it will happen' one more time, I might lose it!

KatzKiss · August 2014

I really didn't mean to sound like I was judging your husband. I don't know him and I'm not suggesting that he is definitely making excuses. If it came off that way, I'm sorry. I just always wonder that when a poster says their husband doesn't want them to do something that will improve their chances of concieving.

mandy522 · August 2014

Okkkaaaaaay....but that doesn't change the fact that you can't confirm ovulation without temping. So if what is stressing you out is whether or not you are ovulating, there's an easy way to fix it. The OPKs aren't going to fix that for you.

He's wrong that if you just relax it will happen. What will make it happen is timing sex appropriately during your fertile week so the sperm can find the egg and have a party. There's nothing wrong with going with the flow, but you need to be aware of the limitations of that approach. And more importantly - it doesn't sound like that's what YOU want.

rockopera · August 2014

rebecca+matt said:
I should clarify before ya'll think I'm a doormat married to a controlling jerk...LOL
DH is worried that I will become obsessed with charting and everything that goes along with it and just wants us to 'relax and enjoy it' for a bit. His words were something like "I really don't want you doing that, it's only going to stress you out more."
I'm trying to honor that at least for a little bit, but after I expressed these fears he agreed that it would be good to at the very least do a kit if I don't get any CM this month.
He really is awesome! He's trying his best to be supportive and keep me relaxed, but seriously, if he (or anyone else...) says 'just relax and it will happen' one more time, I might lose it!

Not helping your case. "Just relax and it will happen" is the worst TTC advice ever.

I guess it all depends on your (and his) timeline. If you aren't pregnant in a year or so, is that cool with you? If so, then sure, have fun having unprotected sex and see what happens.

But you are already paying attention to your body and wondering/worrying if you are ovulating, and what is going on. And there's a way for you to find out and know you gave yourself the best timing for conception, and then after O you wait it out to see if it worked. That is far less stressful, and there's less to obsess about, than not predicting and confirming O, spending all month wondering if there's even a chance and then not knowing for sure when "late" is.

mustloveerica · August 2014

KatzKiss said:
I don't understand why so many women on here have husbands that tell them not to chart. I would explain to him why you need to do it and that it's the best way for you to get pregnant. If he still insists, then I would honestly ask him if he is ready for a baby.

My DH doesn't want me to. He thinks it will lead to "scheduled sex". And who wants that? I think it's one of those things he doesn't need to know about. He doesn't wake up when I do it. He knows I temp but I don't tell him about my chart or tell him when I think I'm ovulating. Temp and chart all you want. The men don't need to know everything :-)

Edited to put words where they belong.

courtyowl427 · August 2014

Agree with PP's. Start temping regardless of DH's concerns. When I started temping, I didn't even tell DH. The only reason he knew was because the thermometer beeped in the morning. I don't really go into too much detail with him about what I do for TTC, he just likes the increased sex! As the gif I've seen going around states "No uterus, no opinion!"

PrimRoseMama · August 2014

I just don't understand why any dude would care. :-??

My husband really didn't care. He still doesn't. We bone on the regular & that makes him happy.

KatzKiss · August 2014

EricaLee715 said:

I don't understand why so many women on here have husbands that tell them not to chart. I would explain to him why you need to do it and that it's the best way for you to get pregnant. If he still insists, then I would honestly ask him if he is ready for a baby.
My DH doesn't want me to. He thinks it will lead to "scheduled sex". And who wants that? I think it's one of those things he doesn't need to know about. He doesn't wake up when I do it. He knows I temp but I don't tell him about my chart or tell him when I think I'm ovulating. Temp and chart all you want. The men don't need to know everything :-) Edited to put words where they belong.

I absolutely understand husbands not wanting it because it will make sex feel like it's routine or scheduled sex. I've been there. But not charting because he thinks you will become obsessed is counterintuitive. Temping relieves stress and exactly, temping and charting doesn't affect him at all. He doesn't need to know about it.

TheBorg7of9 · August 2014

Hi,

I agree that charting is the way to go. I have charted for about 5 years and achieved 2 successful pregnancies in that time. I always know when my period is going to come. It is useful for your whole life, not just when you are TTC. I also used it to avoid conception for several months here and there when I had started a new job and also to space out the kids.

Anyway, if you got your period, it most likely means that you did ovulate. Does your husband also object to you reading books?

If not, then go ahead and get a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility at Amazon. At least you can get a working knowledge of how cycles work, even if you choose not to chart them.

Good luck!

divinemsbee · August 2014

As PPs have said, I think the argument to 'don't stress' or 'I don't want you getting obsessed' is already apparent in your OP. You're already stressing, you're already worried. Not knowing anything isn't going to help. Yes, there are some women (me included) who use the ovulation predictors or temping to schedule sex, but there are a lot of women who don't as well. You need to do what's best for you.

I also agree with PPs who asked your timeline. If you don't get pregnant when you'd like to will that make a difference? It's not that temping is a magic bullet to getting pregnant, or else no one would be on this board, but it does help you know how your timing is. Because it's not like they told you in high school sex-ed, you can't just have sex any time of the month and get knocked up.

If your H doesn't want to deal with you stressing, he's going to love it at the end of every month that you don't temp or use OPKs or anything when you're buying 10 pregnancy tests because you might be 1 day 'late.'

I mean, do it or don't, and that's up to you, but also know that there's not a lot of support on this board for the whole 'am I pregnant?/I'm 5 days late but don't temp' questions.

rebecca+matt · August 2014

bibliothecary said:

rebecca+matt said:

I should clarify before ya'll think I'm a doormat married to a controlling jerk...LOL
DH is worried that I will become obsessed with charting and everything that goes along with it and just wants us to 'relax and enjoy it' for a bit. His words were something like "I really don't want you doing that, it's only going to stress you out more."
I'm trying to honor that at least for a little bit, but after I expressed these fears he agreed that it would be good to at the very least do a kit if I don't get any CM this month.
He really is awesome! He's trying his best to be supportive and keep me relaxed, but seriously, if he (or anyone else...) says 'just relax and it will happen' one more time, I might lose it!

No, I'm sure he's totally awesome, and will definitely enjoy you being a bundle of nerves at the end of your cycle, waiting for your period and have NO IDEA when or if it's coming.

Edit: Not judging your H or your marriage. Guys tend to think that it will "just happen" and "temping will stress out my wife," when, really, having a more complete picture of your cycle is empowering and calming.

I think you hit the nail on the head in that DH thinks it will 'just happen'. I'm also wondering if he honestly thinks if he just gets me to relax, it'll all work out. He is normally SO good at calming me down, making me laugh, whatever whenever I'm stressed about just about anything. He's great at it, and with this one thing, nothing he says calms me down because....as courtyowl427 said, no uterus, no opinion! He's a guy, all he has to do for this process is the fun part!
Here's a question about charting: I've heard if you get up in the middle of the night it will totally throw off your temperature and 'not work' for that day. Well, I get up EVERY night to pee. Does that mean charting just won't work for me or what?

mosdub · August 2014

Agree with what PP say about temping. It does lead to less stress in the end - no wondering if/when you ovulated - it's clear on the chart.

I've had several cycles where if I had only going off of CM I would have had NO idea if I ovulated or when.

On the subject of the elusive CM...I find that checking the toilet paper is useless. I check my CM by going to the source - and it's been so much more accurate. I actually had EWCM this cycle but only found out by actually checking way up there and scooping some out. So, I don't know how you're checking your CM, but that's been my experience! I also found that drinking copious amounts of water helped with the creation of more CM.

CoPilot2012 · August 2014

I see @bibliothecary‌ and @joy2611 were here. And from my stalks the past two months since I came off the pill, I believe they give excellent and honest advice.

My only comment to add would be to increase your water intake and make sure you're taking a multivitamin. Not that these will cure the cm issue but they can't hurt to help your body be healthy when your hormones are readjusting (which is what's happening after you stop birth control).

Good luck, these ladies give a lot of good advice with a fun touch of sarcasm to keep it interesting!

lindsayloo1212 · August 2014

I didn't have any CM my first two months off the pill and was not ovulating. I started having fertile CM about two weeks ago and with temping I was able to confirm ovulation. Now I feel like I know what to look for in terms of CM to identify fertile week and to watch my temp to confirm ovulation.

Side note - Why do so many people associate charting with "trying harder' or "stressing out"? It's getting annoying to me because if you aren't charting you are just trying aimlessly and stressing out anyway. Just my opinion. And maybe a moody one cause it's CD1, but seriously.

IfYouHaveThePower · August 2014

I'm with Waffles! Temping helps me to NOT obsess! It gives you more accurate data, and you're not constantly wondering.

blitzy23 · August 2014

I got my thermometer and popped it in my husband's mouth to test it. He never asked about it. He wants a baby, and trusts my obsessions to make things happen:) He never says "no" to sex, scheduled or not! Did I just make my husband sound like a doormat!?

rebecca+matt · September 2014

I agree with spragglefrock, dancing Patrick Stewart/ Jean Luc Picard is amazing. Thanks for that
bibliothecary.....
Shake it so...hehehehehe
And the good advice! Thanks for that too

3houlagirl · September 2014

Everything everyone else said.

Plus, my DH doesn't "know" I temp. Which means he does, but likes to keep TTC a "mystery" so he doesn't ask. Like when I fart while we're watching TV. I started without asking him, because it's about my body, not his.

Also, read Taking Charge of your Fertility. And RELAX. I went off BCP at the end of May. I have ovulated once. Am I freaking out? Yes, but I have not given up. Because I chart my BBT, and have sll these ladies to convince me I'm not alone. And neither are you.

BillyHorrible · September 2014

blitzy23 said:

I got my thermometer and popped it in my husband's mouth to test it. He never asked about it. He wants a baby, and trusts my obsessions to make things happen:) He never says "no" to sex, scheduled or not! Did I just make my husband sound like a doormat!?

Yeah - my husband likes sex. Scheduled sex. Unscheduled sex. If he's having sex, he's a happy camper.

LuluRM · September 2014

blitzy23 said:
I got my thermometer and popped it in my husband's mouth to test it. He never asked about it. He wants a baby, and trusts my obsessions to make things happen:) He never says "no" to sex, scheduled or not! Did I just make my husband sound like a doormat!?

This is me and my H, exactly. I'm the planner & doer, and he is the supportive, go-with-the-flow type... it works!

delujm0 · September 2014

lindsayloo1212 said:

I didn't have any CM my first two months off the pill and was not ovulating. I started having fertile CM about two weeks ago and with temping I was able to confirm ovulation. Now I feel like I know what to look for in terms of CM to identify fertile week and to watch my temp to confirm ovulation.

Side note - Why do so many people associate charting with "trying harder' or "stressing out"? It's getting annoying to me because if you aren't charting you are just trying aimlessly and stressing out anyway. Just my opinion. And maybe a moody one cause it's CD1, but seriously.

All of this. taking 30 seconds a day to take and record your temp is in no way a big deal, or stressful, or difficult to keep up with. My H thinks i'm "forcing it" because i'm temping...and i have told him repeatedly that he's an idiot for thinking about it that way. if i wasn't temping, i would be a confused mess.

StikierIten · September 2014

I agree with PP about charting and helping to calm yourself down. Then you can have sex "just for fun" when you're not in your fertile window. Think charting of it as a new hobby and getting to know your body.

But to share my experience with CM and ovulation post pill, I have had plenty of creamy CM but have not ovulated (confirmed with temping). So drink lots of water, take your prenatals, and get some preseed if you need assistance for fun time. Good luck!

sddpt616 · September 2014

I agree with PP!! With that said...

I also have a kinda clueless hubby that doesn't quite get the whole gig with cycles, charting etc. Thankfully, he doesnt interject, but happily complies anytime I want to BD....I don't discuss whether its for fun or for hopes of conceiving, so it doesn't cause pressure.

I had/have some issues with coming off BCP, which is normal/expected. First cycle I wasn't charting, 38 days..not bad, but I was clueless on this stuff!. Second cycle, I started temping, charting, OPKs, and checking CM...after 34 days, I had nothing that showed ovulation was near or AF for that matter. I would have been wondering, but knew with temping that I hadn't ovulated (no + OPKs either, and no EWCM.) I started taking a supplement, and thankfully about 5-6 days later, started noticing a huge difference (cramping, breasts getting sore). Suddenly, for the first time after BCP, I noticed EWCM...followed by my first +OPK the next day --wahoo! Still positive OPKs 2nd day, but not as strong as yesterday. Sooo definitely been BD past few days and will the next few, and thankfully I can rely on looking for that temp spike in the next few days to confirm O!

If you want to chat more, message me. Those birth control hormones really mess with your body.

sddpt616 · September 2014

Vitex, actually. I guess it can take a while to make a difference, but it seemed to at least get something going for me. We'll see if I ovulate this weekend...

KingLED · September 2014

sddpt616 said:
Vitex, actually. I guess it can take a while to make a difference, but it seemed to at least get something going for me. We'll see if I ovulate this weekend...

Vitex is scary shit and can screw things up more than help.

sddpt616 · September 2014

Have any of you tried it/had a bad experience?

KingLED · September 2014

jefa621 said:

I'm mobile. Someone post the "vitex fucked me up" threads. The vitex is probably why your cycles are weird op.

@bbg676 Already explained the down sides of Vitex to @sddtpt616 less than a month ago. LINK

KingLED · September 2014

Also, LINK to @mmb248's experience with vitex.

Recently off the pill and no CM, am I not ovulating and should I be worried?

Re: Recently off the pill and no CM, am I not ovulating and should I be worried?

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