Mixed race babies

bunchiemarie · September 2014

So since it came up in the new intro thread I thought maybe I'd start a thread about it. Who else is expecting a baby of mixed racial parentage? I know there are a few of us FTMs who have mentioned it here and there -- but I don't know who the STMs are and maybe they will have some words of wisdom / thoughts for us.

DH is Indian and I am white. I do also wonder about "will people think I'm the Irish nanny to the Indian baby" that other people have mentioned. In our neighborhood I actually think it won't be an issue but I imagine I will get some looks when I'm back visiting my folks.

Are there specific things other people are worrying about? I also fear having people question my parentage since DH and I don't share a last name, esp when traveling, so I am planning to give LO my last name as her middle so it will be on her passport. Have any of the STMs ever had a problem?

MusicFanatic · September 2014

Me!

I'm Japanese and Polynesian, H is pretty white

I actually think about this a lot. My friend is the same mix as me and has a white (caucasian to be PC) husband.. they recently had a little girl and she looks 100% like the husband, there's absolutely no Asian in the baby at all. So I always wonder if I'll have a little Asian baby or a baby that looks like H. I have no idea how it works. Like flip a coin?

I really have no worries, though. I do get ignorant comments, even as an adult.. just last month someone approached me on the street and asked me where the best Chinese food was in town- seriously? (I'm not even Chinese)... and I know they were doing it because I'm Asian. But that stuff doesn't bother me, and I'm not really worried about my kiddo. We live in a pretty accepting place with all types of people and diversity. I guess I haven't given that much thought, though. I like to think times have changed a lot and there's ALL kinds of people in the world. And if children are going to question or make fun of kids, if it's not race... it's something else. Their glasses, their weight, their name, their hair style.. kids can just be cruel. I'll just raise mine to accept everyone, and to teach them they're people.. regardless of what they may look like.

bunchiemarie · September 2014

MusicFanatic said:
Me!
I'm Japanese and Polynesian, H is pretty white I actually think about this a lot. My friend is the same mix as me and has a white (caucasian to be PC) husband.. they recently had a little girl and she looks 100% like the husband, there's absolutely no Asian in the baby at all. So I always wonder if I'll have a little Asian baby or a baby that looks like H. I have no idea how it works. Like flip a coin?

Genetics is freaking complicated. I have friends of mixed parentage who look mixed and those who look very one or the other! I have a friend (blond and blue eyed) who always baffled people when she told them her dad was African-American. Most of the Indian/white babies I know initially look very Caucasian (w dark hair) but their coloring changes over time. We all may end up surprised, who knows!

HamptonsMama · September 2014

Sadly, strangers are quite ignorant to parentage. DH and DD are like twins! Blonde straight hair, blue eyes, olive skin. I have ivory white skin, green eyes and brownish red curly hair. People often ask if I'm the nanny. Or they assume my blonde haired sister is the mom. Don't worry about what strangers think! Your baby will be beautiful and will never doubt who his/her mommy is.

Milagros315 · September 2014

Me too. I am white, H is white and Hispanic. You would never know he is Hispanic though - he takes after his German grandmother with fair skin and blue eyes. I am very interested to see which genes will be dominant for our baby!

Both of the areas I have lived in have large Hispanic populations which means they also have populations of people who are prejudiced. Of course I have a problem with this already, but I imagine when I hear racial slurs that could be applied to my own son it will make me even more angry. People often forget that my husband is Hispanic so I guess they think it's okay to make comments in front of us.

millymillz · September 2014

I guess with us it will be mixed culture babies. My bf is nigerian and I am black/Dominican.

kolaczka · September 2014

My friend is Japanese and her husband is Italian. Their baby girl looks Japanese except for her beautiful red/brown hair. People ask if they dye their daughter's hair red. Seriously, she is 18 months?!

moonfaerie · September 2014

My kids are just Caucasian (though quite a mix of heritages) however a mom in my mom's group is Korean and has a Caucasian husband. They have two kids and one looks exactly like her and the other looks totally white. Genetics are unpredictable in what gets passed on and which are dominant. It's so interesting!

gsonty · September 2014

I'm white and my husband is Indian/Puerto Rican. He's consistently asked "what are you" and I anticipate our children will encounter that question frequently too. We're both in agreement that building a strong racial consciousness is the best tool to empower our children.

NatureLovers · September 2014

I'm half Hispanic, and I speak fluent Spanish and my maiden name was very Hispanic. I'm as white as they come with blue eyes. I constantly got "what are you?" type comments. When you see me with the rest of my family, it looks like one of those "which one of these doesn't belong" exercises. Since I carry those dark skinned dominant genes my H and I constantly wonder what our baby will look like, if she'll be a blond or brunette with dark skin. I guess we'll see!

Roxycc55 · September 2014

Just posted this in that other thread, haha.

My husband is half black and half white. And I am white. With his features I would be surprised if the baby doesn't look more like half black, but who knows about his skin tone. I get worried about police treatment when he is older, to be honest. That's about it. I don't worry about people thinking I'm the nanny. Mainly because he will pretty clearly look biracial.

starzcookie22 · September 2014

FTM I'm Hispanic and DH is filapino ;;)

MusicFanatic · September 2014

I totally hope we have two kids and one will look Asian like myself and the other like H. That would be kinda funny

mandikins27 · September 2014

I have white babies and they are gorgeous but I cant help but stare at mixed babies and think how absolutely stunning they are and when I see mixed babies I never assume that who they are with is a nanny or anything of the sort.

rae48 · September 2014

I'm white, hubby is about 3/4th Native American, 1/4th white. I am mainly worried that my kiddos will look only white and not be as accepted as Native American because of that.

Stargirlb · September 2014

aditigirl said:
See photo evidence: she def doesn't have my coloring.

You look a lot like her in this pic! I would imagine that "nanny" questions have more to do with the fact you look young.

I used to get asked all the time if I was the sitter or nanny. Less and less now, but more when I was 18-20

ChelCChargers · September 2014

I'm white and my husband is Guatemalan so I can't wait to see what our little girl will look like. I have a feeling she'll take after his side, but in my family blue eyes are dominant so hopefully she ends up with blue eyes like me!

Milagros315 · September 2014

ChelCChargers said:
I'm white and my husband is Guatemalan so I can't wait to see what our little girl will look like. I have a feeling she'll take after his side, but in my family blue eyes are dominant so hopefully she ends up with blue eyes like me!

My husband spent most of his life in Guatemala. He just got back from a visit and he bought the cutest little handmade outfits for Baby!

Stargirlb · September 2014

Going to Guatemala next week! We live/work there part of the year.... I'm craving the papaya

Milagros315 · September 2014

Stargirlb said:
Going to Guatemala next week! We live/work there part of the year.... I'm craving the papaya

I'm so jealous! I haven't been there since last March

SpaceGirlSpiff · September 2014

H is a pretty good mix ... Mostly white but also has some native and Hispanic in him as well from his Dads biological paternal side (our last name is not his bio last name as his dad was adopted by his step dad... His bio last name is Hispanic)...... He has a tan complexion with dark brown hair and hazel eyes (brown/green)

I am white as snow with light blue eyes and blond hair

Our son has dark blond hair (for now) with the tan complexion but blue eyes (but darker blue than mine).

I am curious to see if our next LO will get the darker hair and hazel eyes ... That would be cool... I love the hazel

bravemommy · September 2014

I'm black ( of the light skinned variety) and hubby is white (of the German blue eyed blond variety). No clue- we hope our little girl has some pigment and isn't see- through! She'll be a beauty no matter what!

kc192 · September 2014

I'm Korean and my husband is Caucasian. I haven't really had any issues or weird looks with DS. Honestly I have always had the idea that people with more then one race are almost always gorgeous! I might be biased when I say DS is no different but almost every trip out involves at least one random stranger coming up and telling me how cute he is (then again that might happen to all toddlers). He has dark brown hair with a creamy complexion and unbelievably long eye lashes (from dad!) with big but slightly exotic yet not quite Asian eyes. A pretty good mix of the two so Certain times he looks pretty Caucasian and certain times you can really see the Asian in him. I'm most worried about when he's older in terms of identity, preserving my culture, and kids making fun of him for being different. For now we're just worrying about potty training.

Valm999 · September 2014

I'm Russian-Jewish (born in the Soviet Union and raised in Canada)
and DH is Filipino and Spanish mix (born and raised in Canada). It's going to be a first baby for the both of us and can't wait to see what our little creation will look like

karla1301 · September 2014

I'm Puerto Rican and my husband is white. Despite the fact that I believed my features were a bit stronger (my skin is dark brown, pretty strong spanish and Native American features (of the Puerto Rican variety) DD is my husband's mini me. She's got darker hair and brown eyes and her skin is more tan than his but she's very much his look alike. Haven't gotten any weird looks or anything and she's almost 3. Maybe when she starts pre-school? We have quite a few couple friends that are mixed raced couples so we've got plenty of company.

luckylady18 · September 2014

I'm white and DH is Indian. I joke that people will assume I'm the nanny. I hope baby will have some of each of our features. We'll see!

Edvent · September 2014

I'm Caucasian but have very olive skin with dark hair and green eyes. Ive always gotten the "what are you" question a lot. DH is Dominican and there are not many Dominicans in Texas, so he also gets the "what are you" question. Mostly people can tell he's maybe Hispanic, but he definitely doesn't look Mexican which is the majority of the Hispanic population here.

DD's skin tone is pretty in between mine and DH. She has my color hair so it's dark brown rather than black, but it's incredibly curly (if anyone has suggestions for mixed race curly hair products I'm all ears). Initially her facial features were all DH. The nurses joked right when she was born "wow daddy, you can't deny this one!". But as she gets a little older she looks more like me in the eyes. Can't wait to see what baby brother will look like! Here she is with DH

Taybearstare · September 2014

Well Im black and my husband is translusent Caucasian. Our son came out looking white, very little curl to his hair and always in need of sunscreen. In the beginning i got stares all the time, especially since i EBF. I would get weird looks at the grocery store and it bothered me a little bit. But its been almost 2 years and i honestly don't even notice it anymore. I once had a woman try to touch his hair and she asked if i straightened it??!! Why the heck would i do that ??! We still get the stupid comments and looks, but thats other peoples problem not ours. I have no clue how number 2 will come out, but it doesn't matter to me either way. Its really is a crap shoot with genetics, you never know what your going to get especially when it comes to two very different racial backgrounds.

kc192 · September 2014

Have you heard of cristolsunphotoblog.com? She's a half Korean half Caucasian photographer who has started what she calls the "half Korean project". She interviews people with mixed races (mainly Korean but not all) with questions about their background, childhood, etc. pretty interesting! Makes me wonder what my kids will experience growing up!

Tauristar · September 2014

I'm black and DH is German(blond/blue). We get ridiculous comments about DS, even insentative family. "Oh he's mocha latte"...usually met with a blank stare or just a strong no from me. My MIL is also a little obsessed with how curly his hair will be, as if I'm a geneticist and have a crystal ball. Mostly harmless stuff.
Our worst treatment came in France, where some people wouldn't speak to me. Only my husband despite me speaking to them in French. But I expected it outside larger cities.
I worry about the kids when they reach school, but I'll arm them with the ways to communicate and hopefully the self-esteem to handle it all.

emilynyc2cali · September 2014

I love all of you and your beautiful families! Love the photos! As I mentioned on another thread, I'm white (English/Scottish, blonde/blue) and my husband is from China. It's not that I didn't think about race before getting pregnant , but it does bring up new issues. To make things even more complicated, I will be speaking Spanish to baby because I lived in South America growing up and keeping that cultural link is very important to me. So I always get the question of 'Where are you from?' when I speak Spanish because my accent isn't as common among Latinos in the US and I don't look stereotypically Latina. DH wants to speak some Chinese with the baby, but he is not as fluent in Mandarin as I am in Spanish so we hope his parents can be involved in taking care of the baby. We are looking into bilingual (Spanish) daycare and school options in our area; we have friends where the guy is Spanish and the woman is American (but speaks Spanish) and their toddler has been in Spanish daycare all through and it's working well for them. I'm excited to bring a little person into this mixture of languages and cultures!

cclfc · September 2014

My dad's sister (red head Irish) and her husband (Indian) had 3 beautiful mixed race children. Dark hair, light skin, blue eyes, gorgeous! Then they married a variety as well- my one cousin married a black/white girl so their babies are 25% Indian, 25% black and 50% two kinds of white and they're just strikingly beautiful!

DH and I are both brown haired Caucasians. The only unknown for my LO is whether they have my green eyes or DH's dark brown eyes haha

Jamie02Lee · September 2014

I'm Finnish n husband is Korean, I can't wait to c what our boy looks like.. I'm hoping for his skin tone n hair n my blue eyes lol we will c... my aunt's a little frustrating cuz she says stuff like "ur niece looks so much like u, too bad ur kids won't" I just let it roll off cuz I know she don't mean harm but I'm sure my kid will have some of me in him... n even if he does look mostly like DH, at least he's handsome!! Lol...

MahriM23 · September 2014

I'm half black and half white. I'm a light tan color and my hair is baby fine and straight but I have some features that make me look different enough so people give me the weird "what are you?" questions. Hate those. Anyhoo DH is white (Irish mostly). He gets a nice tan in the summer because he has 1 sicilian grandparent. DD1 came out whiter than he is, as white as the snow, and the spitting image of him but she has a mysterious "fro" ...just a huge mass of thick curls that are so hard to brush. DD2 is darker than me but with my baby fine hair and DS is the same color as me with "black" features and curly hair. Mixed race babies are so beautiful (huge bias here, can you tell?) and you never know what you're going to get for features. I do think it's hard to identify with any one particular culture sometimes. I always felt like an oddball when hanging out with either a group of all black friends or a group of all white friends. Not so much now, but more so when I was a kid.

Jacksons2010 · September 2014

I'm full egyptian and my husband is white. When my DS was born, he looked a lot more like me (dark Brown hair, olive skin) but now he is a total blend of the both of us. His skin is a little lighter but he tans super fast, he has my big egyptian eyes and my DHs hair color. I always get comments on what a "pretty" baby he is. I'm really hoping baby girl gets my hubbys green eyes!

brickcitylove · September 2014

I'm a mix of whites and SO is 100% Colombian. I'm really excited to see what our little boy looks like. Hopefully he'll tan like his father and have my button nose. But of he gets his father's nose and my translucent skin he'll still be pretty cute (we'll just buy stock in Coppertone).

I'm not really worried about how he'll be treated or us, for that matter. We live in an incredibly diverse area where mixed kids are rather common. We hope to raise him bilingual, maybe even move abroad in a couple years.

My best friend is also a variety of white and her hubs is Indian. Their little girl is one of the most gorgeous creatures I've ever seen.

bunchiemarie · September 2014

I love, love, love this thread. Just got back to TB and was amazed at all the responses. So excited for everyone and glad to see the diversity on the board that is hidden behind screen names.

And seriously can't wait until January to see pics of all these little ones.

GromMom · September 2014

I'm Chinese and my husband is White. Our son looks like a 50/50 mix. He definitely has DH's traits like his exact ears, but doesn't have dark hair or complexion. Some days he looks Chinese and some days he looks Caucasian with a little something else. My niece is the same, a 50/50 mix, however interestingly my friend is Korean and has a White husband and her son looks 90% Korean and their daughter looks a little more like her DH. I also wonder if it's because her DH has dark hair and my dh has brown hair but was a blue eyed blonde kid. I haven't gotten any odd stares, but I think it's b/c LO is so adorable

rainbows · September 2014

@Taybearstare Love the example. Im black also, and DH is very very pale with red/blond hair. While I do hope his eye color wins out (green), I really hope I dont have a translucent baby.

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