Calling all STM+...I'm FREAKED OUT help me!

shootznladrz · August 2014

Ok I read the unsolicited advice thread in April 2015 and now I'm freaked out. There's so much I don't know. None of my friends have ever been pregnant (on purpose) and these things have never been spoken about in my family. Don't judge me for how stupid these may be.

I have questions!! Help if you can?

1. Everyone kept mentioning after you give birth needing depends and ice packs and stuff. Obviously it's a traumatic experience...down there...but depends? Is there bleeding afterward? How bad? How long? Best way to avoid it if at all possible? How much pain? How do you go to bathroom after if you're in so much pain? All things like that...

2. Breastfeeding problems? I thought breast feeding just happens? Apparently not? Also sounds painful and terrible and frustrating.

3. People in delivery room, this one I just want your advice. I was only planning on having H in the room and allowing only close friends and our parents visit, could this be too much?

4. Kinda an add on to 1, if you are given pain meds, how do you breastfeed? Don't the pain killers end up in your breast milk?

I'm terrified, I'm almost in tears, I know nothing about child birth apparently! Now I'm thinking I'm not ready for this but have to be cause well there's no going back now! (Which is a change for me cause I'm kinda a know it all about everything. It's obnoxious really.)

Any advice or help or anything would be awesome, I know I can google most of this but I would really like first hand experiences from you guys.

cailsmomma · August 2014

Deep breaths! And stop reading that board! Lol.
There is bleeding afterwards. Like a really long period. I just wore overnight pads. In the hospital they normally give a squirt bottle so you can squirt warm water there without having to really wipe. You will be sore at least. I was given pain meds both deliveries to take home and use as needed. I breast fed and it was safe. Dr won't give you anything not safe.
People in the room- whatever makes you comfortable. Some places have a limit. But whoever and how ever many visitors you want are up to you.
Breast feeding is not somethin you think "oh this is common sense". Most hospitals offer a lactation consultant. Use them! I didn't have one my first baby and ended having to stop at 6 weeks old. My second I did have one an we went to 18 months.

Ask questions!! Everyone will be more than happy to help you. Good luck!

pregarella · August 2014

1)Yes, you need ice packs afterwards. I made the horrible mistake of checking my lady bits out in a mirror a few days after. Talk about a horror story. You are swollen and all kinds of messed up down there. And yes, bleeding. Loads of it. No way around it. Take home as many of those mesh panties and ice packs home from the hospital, you will thank yourself.

2) Breastfeeding is so much harder than I ever thought it would be and I wished someone had warned me prior. Yes, it doesn't just happen in many cases, many women have to work at it. Best advice I can give is to make the commitment if you want to do it, and stick with it for at least 3 weeks. That is when I got over the hump and things got easier with it. And don't give yourself guilt if it turns out you can't do it. Formula won't kill your kid (FWIW I nursed until about 15 months)

3) Not sure what you mean by "too much." I think most women just have DH in the room with them. It's completely your right to dictate who is in there with you. My mom and I are super close so I also asked her to be in there. And up until labor, I had said I wanted NO ONE else in there during labor. After I got my epidural, I had such a Bob Marley "Everything little thing is gonna be alright" moment, that I didn't care who was in there. In fact, I was happy that my whole family and DH's were in there keeping me company because it got boring. Once we were ready to push, however, we kicked everyone but DH and my mom out.

4) No idea on the pain meds, never took any.

Just breath and learn to relax. My friend was very much like you and literally cried every time we talked about the impending labor and birth. In the end, you will have the most perfect little person in your arms and you won't care about anything else. Millions have women have gotten through it and you will too.

orangesprinkles13 · August 2014

First to question 1, depends maybe not thick pads yes! You do bleed quite a bit more then normal. I bled for about a week and a half. I also have a fairly quick delivery, and no one told me that pooping the first time after birth is the absolute worst! I mean it was worse then labor to me. So not looking forward to that again.
As far as breast feeding it all kind of depends on the baby. If you make sure no one gives your baby a pacifier for at least the first couple of weeks, you should have an easier time with latching. Before I give birth I'm gonna start using lanothin ( can remember the spelling) it's the best stuff ever, and will help toughen up your nipples. I only had H in delivery, but that is kinda up to you.

Unknown · August 2014

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mamajack86 · August 2014

Good questions! Well here goes my answer (based on my experience)
1. Did not use depends first off. The first days in the hospital they give you these huge oversized pads and mesh underware, but not depends. Also they gave my ice packs to help with swelling. It was all uncomfortable but not horrible (then again I didn't rip or anything down there). My son actually did rip a piece of my cervix inside but they sewed it and I didn't feel it afterwards. By the time I got home the bleeding was like a period but for a week I continued using ice packs down there when possible. I used my big pads for a week tops then I was down to normal size ones.
2. Breast feeding was horrible for me. I honestly thought I wouldn't make it past two weeks. I was engorged and yeah it sucked. But I met with a specialist who helped a lot. My sons Ped helped me a lot too. We breast fed for only 6 months (I was surprised I lasted). It took two months before I felt comfortable feeding. But never fed in public, I just wasn't good at it and always made a mess.
3. The hospital I delivered at was strict on this. Thank goodness! It was my husband only, but my mom and sister came in the last 20 mins to see me because they thought I'd have a csection, and my doc said "want to try and push?" So I told them to just stay not thinking it would work and BAM out came my son. They were very respectful and kept their distance, I actually was glad they were there.
4. I didn't take my pain meds but a couple times, I didn't have a csection so I wasn't in pain that I couldn't handle.

You'll be fine. I know it's scary to think of. P.S. I had this crazy idea that my Vag would never be the same lol. It was perfectly fine and if anything (warning TMI), things were tightened down there (not sure how that worked out) lol.

BitsyBelle84 · August 2014

1) To help with pain and swelling, soak pads in water, freeze, use as ice packs. Also keep the water bottle they give you to help clean down there and take sitz baths.

2) Breastfeeding can be difficult in the beginning. It took a few visits to a lactation consultant at the hospital and a call to a breastfeeding helpline to get my son to latch properly. Your hospital will have lactation consultants, have one see you before you leave the hospital, they will give you info and a way to call if you have questions.

3) I ended up with a c-section so the only one allowed in the delivery room/OR was my husband, but I don't think I want anyone else there this time either. I didn't let anyone come visit in the hospital I just wanted to rest and be with my husband. After about a week or two we let family and friends visit us at home. It is really just whatever you are comfortable with.

4) I was on Tylenol with codeine for about a week after my c-section and my doctor told me it was ok to breastfeed with it. I am sure a small amount of it does end up in your breast milk. I don't think you are on a high enough dose for long enough to cause any harm to the baby.

It will be ok. You still have several months to gain information. Look into child birth classes at your hospital or in your area, they go over birth, post-partum and basic childcare. Most importantly if you have questions ask

tiffmatt · August 2014

It will be ok. There are plenty of us here who have had kids and are right back at it again.

Yes there's a lot of bleeding, but they make sure you can handle it while at the hospital. Stock up on all the supplies you can at the hospital. The giant pads and mesh undies are given to you for a reason, they're great. You can also wet and freeze overnight pads (water and witch hazel I believe) and use as ice packs. There are topical sprays and tucks pads to sooth as well. And a water bottle to rinse when you go to the bathroom. Between that and the Motrin and laxative I was prescribed it was all manageable.

A lot happens when you give birth, but you'll figure out with the help of your nurses. Then you'll be home with your new baby and a whole new adventure in front of you.

If you have a lot of concerns look into hiring a doula. They offer support before, during and after the birth of your baby.

mommyofkaylin · August 2014

Keep in mind even if you have a c section you will bleed after. It's totally normal. Most hospitals have a lactation specialist to help you bf. I had ac section and was on pain killers and was given the ok to bf, which was very important to me.

Shebamommy · August 2014

I used the mesh panties and pads at the hospital, and then Depends once I got home for a few days until things tapered off to where a pad could handle it. Just pads would leak at night for me, where Depends gives more over-all protection. The spray bottle with warm water that the hopsital gives you is great for cleaning down there, and they also gave me some kind of medicated numbing foam that offered relief as well. I was never in too much pain after -- just some pain where I got stiched up from tearing and maybe some cramping as my uterus went back down to size (but I think I have a pretty high pain threshold). My biggest issue after having DD was constipation. As someone above said, it was a BITCH. Seriously, that first poop was more painful than childbirth itself. I cried and cried and sat on the damn pot for well over an hour. Learned my lesson and used metamucil and colace pre-emptively with DS. I didn't realize that the combination of giving birth and the pain killers slow down your system. If you haven't pooped 24 hours after giving birth, do yourself a favor and do something about it medically, trust me. I shudder still just thinking about it.

I'm one of the lucky ones where breastfeeding came very easily, but I know that's not the case for many. Take advantage of nurses helping out and lactation consultants if your hospital has one.

In the delivery room, I just had DH for both babies and plan to do the same this time. Nobody gave me (my mom or MIL) any flack for it. Neither live in town, though, and had to drive up when I went into labor, so timing-wise, it wouldn't have really worked out anyway. As for visitors, I try to limit them to immediate famiy and maybe one or two close friends at the hospital. I encourage others to stop by the house a week or so after we get home and get settled in.

Shelli0383 · August 2014

I think everyone has answered most questions and I hope you are feeling a bit more relieved!

As far as the delivery see if you would feel more comfortable taking a labor class. They might offer them at your hospital.

I did use pads as many have said after delivery and in the hospital they brought me frozen baby diapers to use as ice packs. It was pretty uncomfortable and it felt like I was wearing a diaper myself but it did help with swelling and I only used them while in the hospital.

almeyer2013 · August 2014

I totally get it. I am kind of freaking out about labor breast feeding and what not too, and I took a nursing course on labor and delivery!!!
Just remember every patient is different. Your labor will be different than anyone else's.
The part about who to have in the delivery room, that should totally be your own choice. I too want to just have my husband, but the more I thought about it, the more I want to have my mom there with me too. Especially if something were to happen. I want jake to be with the baby, but I want my mom to stay with me. It's okay! Everything will be okay.

dolphinaunt77 · August 2014

The pps have given you great advice! This is my third pregancy and i remember with my first i was scared as well. My only rresponse is if breastfeeding doesnt work out dont feel guilty about it. I was not able to bf either of my girls due to inverted nipples and the girls have very high pallets. It was hard on me at first to think that i should be able yo do this without a problem and i couldnt. Not even trying with this one. Not sure if you use an ob or midwife but my midwife who delivers in hospital helped me slow down so my body could stretch without tearing and it was the best thing ever!

northerngirl11 · August 2014

Bleeding is worse in the hospital because you gush for lack of better word when you stand up the first few times. It's leaky and messy and the bigger the pads the better. I loved the always infinity because they do not have a loose layer on top of the absorbing part to stick to your vagina. As your bleedingslows you can sstill be sore and peeling a pad off hurts. Ice packs are great. I tore and had cuts one of which was a third degree other a second . I tore up into my bum so it really hurt healing and was very uncomfortable to sit after not using ice packs and pain meds due to swelling. Take stool softeners regularly even now if needed. I made the mistake of not and post partum pooping hurts let alone with a stitched up ass.
Use the bottle they give you it also helps you pee afterwards. For myself my muscles felt so stretched the bottle helped me pee.
All your questions are normal! It's a scary experience to think about.

ker180 · August 2014

I think you got a lot of good advice. I am a FTM and learned a lot of this through friends and being on this board. I don't have any personal advice but just wanted to offer an idea. At my first appointment my Dr. went over classes that I can sign up for including breastfeeding. I will def be going in hopes of feeling more prepared. You could also talk to your dr. to see what classes they offer.

RMama2012 · August 2014

OK Take a deep breath! There is plenty of time to learn about all of this. I would start with some basic books from the library and google "Lucie's list." It is really the best website and everyone I pass it on to loves it as well.

To answer your questions:

1. After birth- yes you bleed. A ton the first 2 days or so and then like a heavy period. Mine went on for about 2 weeks but i was able to switch to normal pads the second week. After that I had some other discharge for another 2 weeks or so. The hospital gave me these ice pack pads which are awesome but it depends on how m uch you swell. How much you swell usuaully deoends on how long you push per my nurse. Some people freeze pads soaked in witch hazel. This is totally NBD and managable.

2. Breastfeeding problems? It depends. I would read up on BFing as much as possible so that you are prepared for some more common problems. The bfing forum on this site it great. Kelly mom is a good site too. I had an easy enough time bfing but pumping was my problem. Everyone is different.

3. People in delivery room- This is also a personal decision. I had DH and MIL in the delivery room and a crazy amount of visitors until the day I left. I stressed over this big time and in the end it was totally fine. You have alot of time to think about this too.

4. , if you are given pain meds, how do you breastfeed? Don't the pain killers end up in your breast milk? I believe it is considered fine. I only took some IB profen for a day afterwards but you can ask the dr about this one since I assume it will be speciifc to whatevery pain killer youre taking.

kelseypie · August 2014

I haven't read all of the responses, so I'm sure I'm echoing PPs, but here's my two cents.

1. You'll bleed. There's nothing you can do to stop it. It's pretty excessive the first couple of days, and then it's like a 4 week long period. It sounds terrible, but it's not that bad. In the hospital, you'll have a nice "pad sandwich" which will consist of mesh underwear, an ice pack, a giant pad, and tucks pads. It's great, really a nice set up. You'll clean your self off with warm water in a peri bottle, which is wonderful. There's this awesome numbing spray called dermoplast. I bought some beforehand, per rec of my childbirth instructor, but they gave me some in the hospital too. Amazing stuff. Get the kind with the blue lid, not the red. You can get it at Walgreens or whatever drugstore you have.

2. Breastfeeding can be really hard and uncomfortable. You'll need to be guided, let the LCs help you. Don't let anyone tell you it's supposed to hurt. If it hurts, seek help until you find someone who really knows about BFing problems. Sometimes you have to seek out an LC after you leave the hospital. IMO, the LCs I've met that don't work in a hospital have been much more helpful and knowledgeable than hospital LCs. Search for your local La Leche League and other local (and non local) BFing groups on FB. Somebody will point you to someone who can really help you if you're having a lot of trouble.

Also, please don't use lanolin. The hospital LCs will cram it down your throat, but coconut oil is much better. If you need something stronger, look into nipple creams by bamboobies or earth mama angel baby. Much more effective and better for baby than lanolin. I wish I had known that sooner.

3. I had a 29 hour induction labor, so I let people come visit while I was laboring. After my epi, I was much more pleasant to visit with. When pushing and getting cervix checks, it was only my DH and I. This time I'd like to try a natural birth, so it might just be DH and I the whole time.

Do what you want, and don't let anyone pressure you to let them in. They may be pissed at the time, but they'll get over it when the hold the baby.

4. I took Vicodin and Motrin for about a week and BFd. My doc told me it would be fine, and I was in a lot of pain from a pretty traumatic birth (pushed for 4 hours, episiotomy and vacuum assist, baby broke collar bone on my pelvic bone). I felt like I needed the pain meds. I'm not sorry I took them, and don't feel like I damaged my baby.

Just relax. People do this all the time. Even people who are extremely ill-prepared. You will be fine. Hope that helped a little!

okayestmom12 · August 2014

Fear is an absolutely normal reaction to reading EVERYTHING that is coming down the pike in the next 7ish months for a FTM.

the girl shave given some awesome advice/ information. I'll add that you can read and research until you're blue in the face but the only way you'll really understand it all is when it happens. Prepare but don't panic. People have been birthing babies for millions of years... and plenty of us suckers go back for seconds (and thirds, fourths, fifths

).

nomnommama · August 2014

I agree with most of what PPs have said. Re: breast feeding. I second checking out a local La Leche League chapter as well as using kellymom.com which is an absolutely phenomenal BFing resource!

shootznladrz · August 2014

Thank you guys, I'm going to look into birthing classes and all of that, I'm having issues even getting in to see the right doctor let alone choosing a hospital

I'm just scared and nervous that I don't know how to do this. But seriously I love you all right now. (I swear my eyes are just leaking....damn hormones!!)

randomnames · August 2014

1. I never used depends, just giant pads for about a week and the smaller ones for another week or two. The ice packs were really nice and there is also a numbing cream they can give you. I think I used those for about a week. The water bottle was great too, I ended up getting more from amazon so I could have one in every bathroom. I never had any problem pooping afterwards.

2. Everyone is different. I never had any problems. It only because painful for me after I got my period back and the first month or so of this pregnancy.

3. I only had H and our doula in the delivery room, but I have no family or close friends nearby. I would highly recommend a doula, especially if you are considering a med-free birth.

4. I didn't take a lot of pain meds, but like others have said, they won't give you anything that will harm the baby if BFing.

I know the unknown can be scary. I felt that way about labor with my first. What really helped me was reading a lot of positive birth stories and learning from BTDT moms on TB.

nomnommama · August 2014

Oh and get the DVD of happiest baby on the block and watch it a million times before your baby comes home.

FrecklesInside · August 2014

I don't have the patience to read everyone's responses, so I'm breaking TB ettiquette here and posting before reading.

The one I really want to address is BFing. Yes, it is a misunderstanding that BFing just happens. For some women, it's like that, and I'm super fucking jealous of them. Read up on your materials and attend a class. Be as best prepared as possible. And then get all the help you need (don't be scared to ask for help) afterwards.

My story, in short, is that my milk never came in. I fed E with a syringe so she wouldn't get used to a bottle and pumped around the clock to try to get my milk in. We went to several lactation consultants. I used an SNS system (it has tubes to the nipple so that formula or BM can be fed through the tubes but at the nipple). My milk NEVER came in. I went on Domperidone, a drug I had to order from Canada, and that uped my supply to the point where I could pump all day to get 4 oz. That's right JUST 4 OZ! I did that for 6 months because even one bottle a day of my milk was worth pumping all day.

So, no BFing is NOT easy and doesn't just happen. Even if my milk had come in, we might have had latch issues, I might have had mastitis and other problems with my breasts. It is HARD! I did the best I could though, and that's all you can do, no matter what problems come up.

Again, do your reading and research and attend a good class. I suggest the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and La Leche League's book. Kelly Mom is a good website for info.

bumpuser10258960 · August 2014

Some of these answers are duplicate but here's my two cents...

1) I didn't use depends, but thick pads and mesh panties. They will provide this to you, take as many as they'll give you. You will bleed from 1-2 weeks depending on your body. The hospital will also prefer you to go poo before you leave the hospital, so keep that in mind. Some women end up constipated. I didn't poop for 1 week and that was difficult. That's what pain meds are for. And yes, it's ok to take the meds and breastfeed. You will be given a squirt bottle so you can use water to rinse your ladybits instead of wipe. You may also be sent home with tucs pads to help with hemorrhoids, which some ladies experience because of pushing your baby out. This happened to me but went away and I haven't had any problems since.

2. Breastfeeding is challenging. I was very young when I had my son so I did not know what to do and they didn't have consultants back then. So here's what I learned. even if your baby is sleeping you need to either wake the baby up to feed or pump regularly. If you do not breastfeed on the regular, your body will not know when it's suppose to give milk. This will be frustrating for LO because when he/she is finally hungry, you may not produce enough milk to feed the baby. Breastfeed as soon as possible after birth. This gets things flowing. Breast feeding hurt, especially when I wasn't producing and that poor lil guy was sucking for all his worth trying to get a drop of milk. I only lasted 2 weeks before going to bottles. So if you can speak with a consultant about breastfeeding, definitely do that!

3. People in the delivery room. Before I got my epidural, I did not want ANYONE near me except my XH. After the epidural, I was ok having my parents or XH's parents there, but frankly, you may not really want anyone around. Don't tell anyone beforehand that you're ok with it. You may change your mind later. IMO, tell people "lets see how I feel" and designate someone like your mom as the person they need to check with before trying to come see you. P.S. My hospital only allowed 3 people in the room at 1 time. You may need to check with your hospital on their policies.

My last suggestion will be to get the book "the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy". There is a lot of frank information in there about pregnancy and delivery. You're going to do just fine!

cafecreme · August 2014

pregarella said:

1)Yes, you need ice packs afterwards. I made the horrible mistake of checking my lady bits out in a mirror a few days after. Talk about a horror story. You are swollen and all kinds of messed up down there. And yes, bleeding. Loads of it. No way around it. Take home as many of those mesh panties and ice packs home from the hospital, you will thank yourself.
2) Breastfeeding is so much harder than I ever thought it would be and I wished someone had warned me prior. Yes, it doesn't just happen in many cases, many women have to work at it. Best advice I can give is to make the commitment if you want to do it, and stick with it for at least 3 weeks. That is when I got over the hump and things got easier with it. And don't give yourself guilt if it turns out you can't do it. Formula won't kill your kid (FWIW I nursed until about 15 months)
3) Not sure what you mean by "too much." I think most women just have DH in the room with them. It's completely your right to dictate who is in there with you. My mom and I are super close so I also asked her to be in there. And up until labor, I had said I wanted NO ONE else in there during labor. After I got my epidural, I had such a Bob Marley "Everything little thing is gonna be alright" moment, that I didn't care who was in there. In fact, I was happy that my whole family and DH's were in there keeping me company because it got boring. Once we were ready to push, however, we kicked everyone but DH and my mom out.
4) No idea on the pain meds, never took any.
Just breath and learn to relax. My friend was very much like you and literally cried every time we talked about the impending labor and birth. In the end, you will have the most perfect little person in your arms and you won't care about anything else. Millions have women have gotten through it and you will too.

+1. WSS

Adding to #1- I bled for roughly 2-2.5 weeks. To give you an idea, I wore overnight pads and changed them every 2-3 hours. It's a lot of blood. I mean, think of having 9 months worth of periods...all.at.once.

In addition to #4- I was given Percocet the first 2 days I was in the hospital. After that I was on a stronger dose of Ibprofen for about 2 weeks. Both are safe while breastfeeding.

RMama2012 · August 2014

nomnommama said:

Oh and get the DVD of happiest baby on the block and watch it a million times before your baby comes home.

yes! I read the book before my son was born (you will have no time to read afterwards) and it was after a couple days where DS was screaming all night and I didn't know what to do. I remembered the 5 S's and it was amazing. I was so glad I read that book! I followed te 5 S's for the first several months. It made a big difference.

kellbell1982 · September 2014

Yeah I made the mistake of looking down there a few hours after giving birth and I cried because it looked like I had balls that's how swollen it was! You bleed but it's nothing you chat handle

071115 · September 2014

1. Everyone kept mentioning after you give birth needing depends and ice packs and stuff. Obviously it's a traumatic experience...down there...but depends? Is there bleeding afterward? How bad? How long? Best way to avoid it if at all possible? How much pain? How do you go to bathroom after if you're in so much pain? All things like that...
Yes there is bleeding mine was a lot like a period first day was supper heavy though... I didn't find the pain that bad I mean the day we had our son I asked the hubby when we were having number 2! However I couldn't pee or poo for a couple weeks after so that was awful... I didn't have an epi and I pushed to hard and tore a lot!!

2. Breastfeeding problems? I thought breast feeding just happens? Apparently not? Also sounds painful and terrible and frustrating.
Breast feeding just happened for us... The doctor said she couldn't be olive how fast we got in to! The trick is to be relaxed!

3. People in delivery room, this one I just want your advice. I was only planning on having H in the room and allowing only close friends and our parents visit, could this be too much?
I had my hubby and my mom in the delivery room! Family came and visited after

4. Kinda an add on to 1, if you are given pain meds, how do you breastfeed? Don't the pain killers end up in your breast milk?
Never had pain mess can't help with this

Seriously just relax everyone is freaked out at first! I was so afraid to even hold my son I thought I would drop him. You get into a routine that works and all your problems wash away! Right after delivery I forgot about the pain when I looked in to my sweet bundles of joy!!

Amoreenamarlin · September 2014

First of all, giving birth hurts. Obviously. But looking at your baby takes so much of the pain away, even if it's temporarily..you'll realize how worth it the whole experience is. There is this thing that my hospital described as an "undie sundae" .. You take a huge pad (long enough to go from front to back), layer it with Tucks pads (witch hazel) and add a pain relief cream on top. It really does help. Also, the mentioned squirt bottle will be your best friend. I constantly filled that thing with warm water and sat on the toilet spraying it up there. It was my only relief. Breast feeding isn't for everyone and definitely isn't easy. I made it a few months with my daughter before my body just wasn't producing enough milk. The number of support people in the delivery room is up to you. I only wanted my husband, but at the last moment allowed my cousin to be in the room for picture purposes as well as the experience and it meant a lot to her. Don't be too scared. There's a reason people continue to have children

Christina80xoxo · September 2014

I don't have much to add, these ladies gave great advice.
Good luck !! Everything is going to be fine !

@FrecklesInside‌ , I wanted to reply to you. I never got my milk either ! People to this day (11 yrs later) tell me I just didn't pump long enough.
I tried EVERYTHING in my power , it just didn't work out for me.

OP, I had a c-section so I'm not much help on what goes on after a delivery. I can tell you , regarding who is in the room with you .... That's a personal choice. Choose people who can comfort and support you. Good luck ! It will all come together!

AmberBond87 · September 2014

I want to suggest a book:
The official Lamaze guide; giving birth with confidence. By Judith Lothian
Read it! It will help you!

cosmama · September 2014

First of all, please remember that every experience is different. What was awful for one person may not be a big issue for you. After you have your baby, all that stuff about your seems to kind of blur with the fascination of this brand new person in your arms. Most of the things I was nervous about the first time around never even came up, so don't yourself think too much and stress yourself out. I was worried about having a birth plan, but things went the total opposite of what I expected. You just to roll with it. You can do this!

1. Yes, there is bleeding. For me it was like a heavy period that lasted longer than usual. I had a c-section so even in that case you still bleed for a while. My hospital gave me these really unattractive but comfortable and convenient mesh undies that helped save my own good underwear. It's just one of those things you deal with and then it goes away.

2. Breastfeeding is also one of those things that differs from person to person. Personally, I tried but I never had the supply I needed to make it work. Do your best, and if you need to do something different, THAT IS OK!

3. With my c/s, my husband was there for the majority with the exception of when I was being given the spinal block. With the surgery, there is usually limited space but with a normal delivery its whatever you are comfortable with.

4. As for pain meds, I needed them but your doctor will know what is ok and what is not for breastfeeding.

crunchymamaof2 · September 2014

I haven't read the other replies but here's my 2 cents.

1. I've always used regular heavy flow pads and witch hazel pads. Rarely used ice, never so much as looked at depends, and never used a sitz bath either. It's painful but manageable.breastfeeding will help your uterus contract (afterbirth pains suck) but that helps you heal faster. They hurt worse with each baby so enjoy the easy cramps you get this time

2. Breastfeeding is hard. Baby has to learn how to latch just like you have to learn how to nurse. If you plan to breastfeed decline ALL bottles (rarely will a baby need formula after birth. Rarely) and just keep at it. It will feel like you are a cow and baby is starving. They're not. It may be sore at first but with a good latch after a week or so the soreness should be gone. If it hurts then their latch isn't right. Use the resources the hospital has or call a private lactation consultant.

3. We never allow anyone in he delivery room except for the two of us, and the doula we had with our first. We allow visitors within an hour of delivery but they were kicked out when I needed to nurse. This is your choice completely. Your nurses will be the bad guys if necessary. Use them!

4. As you know I'm on methadone. I've breastfed both our kids. With a narcotic you're not used to taking you want to be a bit cautious but it's perfectly fine to breastfeed. You may not even need anything stronger than ibuprofen. I had an epidural with my first (baby MAY be sleepy after this so nursing MAY start slower but that's ok!) and nothing with our second and never needed anything stronger than OTC stuff. Then my best friend was given Percocet after her med free delivery so who knows. If you're in pain speak up.

Eta: you are likely to poop and you may pee yourself. It's normal. Birth is messy. But it's not horrifying

crunchymamaof2 · September 2014

Some other things I wish I knew:

1. Baby's first poops are disgusting. Tarry and black. Meconium is just gross. Our hospital will not provide regular wipes, just thick tissue like wipes and water. These SUCK. grab a pack of wipes and bring with you,just in case.

2. Get a boppy pillow or similar.

3. Expanding on @frecklesinside (which I'm sorry to hear that happened to you- but you are a rock star for pushing through!). Your milk will take a few days to come in. I never got engorged (except for when he came home from the nicu and I went fm pumping to EBF). If, for whatever reason, you are not able to nurse within a few hours of birth have them bring you a pump. I had issues with my first and didn't start pumping soon enough and my supply sucked. I had to pump for 8 months before I gave up and hardly got anything. You need to nurse or pump early and often. If your supply seems low talk to a LC. Low supply is rare, but as you've read here it can happen.

4. Even if you feel fine take it easy for the first few weeks. I felt great after my first and insisted on doing laundry (going ip and down stairs) and other housework. My bleeding that had almost stopped started gushing again. Your body needs to heal.

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