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October 2013 Moms
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S/O crying in front of kids

dovetail223dovetail223 member
in October 2013 Moms
@NRyan55‌ UO made me think of the once or twice my mom cried in front of us kids. Once was when the cops were called cause my brother and I got carried away with a little game that involved throwing dog poop at our neighbors house to see if we could get it to stick. It was baaadddd. The police woke her up at 7am. She cried when they left...ugly cried.

Aside from death which we all agree is sad, what situations do you think it's ok to cry in front of your kids?
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Re: S/O crying in front of kids

  • ajjf1026ajjf1026 member
    I think it's ok to show emotion during times of happiness and when you're sad (to an extent). Children should know it's ok to show emotion and to be "human." Being an emotional person is not a bad thing; now me, I'm overly emotional and that's something I'm working on! Lol

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  • Chrisanna0508Chrisanna0508 member
    I agree that I think children should see that all emotions are ok. I saw all emotions from my parents and think that helped me. DHs father never showed emotion and was both emotionally and physically absent a lot of the time when he was growing up. Because of this, DH wants to make sure that DS knows it's ok to cry or show other emotions.
    I also agree though that crying because things don't go your way is not the way to go. Case and point, DHs crazy ex was crying around their 5 year old son, he asked what was wrong, and she told him that daddy was divorcing them. More issues than the crying there obviously, but an example of something that as an adult she should have handled away from him.

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  • skyla13skyla13 member
    This is interesting to me, I haven't thought about it much. My family never cried unless it was a really big deal, and I distinctly remember crying in my bed after my parents had a huge blowout, and being ignored. I didn't like that feeling, so I'd like L to be more comfortable about crying than I was (and I intend to reinforce that crying can be ok sometimes). My DH definitely has issues with crying in public. So...hmm...thanks for the good food for thought.
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  • Lee81Lee81 member
    I only have one memory of seeing my mom cry when I was young. I said something pretty mean and bratty to her and it made her feel really unappreciated (I was maybe seven or eight). She cried and I felt awful. It was probably the best thing she could have done. I think it taught me a valuable lesson about being careful about what I say to others. But if she was someone who cried at every little thing, I doubt I would have felt so bad or even realized how shitty I was being.
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  • PinkDahLia44PinkDahLia44 member
    My parents weren't big criers, but they never made me feel like I had to hide my emotions. I, on the other hand, cry about everything: happy, sad, whatever. My kids are going to grow up seeing their momma cry during movies, special events, Cheerios commercials...

    The other time I cry is when I am very stressed out. It's a good release and then I can move on with my life.
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  • Lee81Lee81 member
    sleepy33 said:

    Even now, I have a very hard time not tearing up/crying if I am around someone else who is crying. I don't know if the two are related.

    I fell like this is maybe not that unusual. I do the same thing. I am not very emotional and definitely not a crier, but other people's sadness is like my kryptonite.
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  • sleepy33sleepy33 member
    Lee81 said:
    Even now, I have a very hard time not tearing up/crying if I am around someone else who is crying. I don't know if the two are related.
    I fell like this is maybe not that unusual. I do the same thing. I am not very emotional and definitely not a crier, but other people's sadness is like my kryptonite.
    Well, that's good I suppose. Maybe we are just extra empathetic!
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  • KdansonKdanson member
    I want to teach DD not to be ashamed of her emotions, and to be empathetic. I definitely agree that children should not see their parents be brats and cry over nonsense, but to feel emotion (whether happy or sad,) and show it is never a bad thing in my book.
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  • sweettooth87sweettooth87 member
    I most definitely think it's ok - in fact, I think it's great. My DH is so in tune w/ his emotions and has shed many of tears in front of me and others. He has no shame w/ it. I hope Milo is the same way. 

    I'm on the total opposite side of the spectrum. I never cry. I've probably cried once in the past two years. I wish I would 'allow' myself to use this outlet to show my emotions more, but it's just not how I was raised so it doesn't come naturally. 

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  • Herefishy87Herefishy87 member
    deedee1017 said:

    I always had to be the strong one in my house growing up. It was hard. I want dd to always feel like she can express her emotions. However, I think it's important to not put my problems on my kid. If she asks me why I'm crying I think it's okay to say I'm crying because I'm sad, or hurt. I don't think it's okay to say I'm crying because mommy and daddy had a fight or because mommy lost her keys or whatever.

    I couldn't agree more. I was the youngest of 3 kids and the only girl, so I feel like my mom kinda dumped way too much emotional crap on me. I remember her saying/crying she has no friends, is fighting with my dad, having no money and not being able to afford stuff and just all sorts of sad, scary things kids shouldn't hear.
    Looking back at it I know she was also struggling with depression and it explains a lot but still, I will never understand exposing me to that kind of stuff.
    I want my boys to see "normal" emotion but if they catch my crying or throwing things and it's not a child friendly issue, than I'll just say I'm sad/upset and move on. I don't want them to feel like they have to be the adult in the situation and fix the problem cause I know it's a shitty feeling.
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  • Amjoy25Amjoy25 member
    I'm not a huge crier, and I don't think there is anything wrong with crying over something sad in front of the kids, but ridiculous things? No. You need to pull yourself together and act like an adult. That's teaching your child they can cry over spilled milk and get their way...I am intrigued if @NRyan55‌'s friends children will act this way.

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  • MySunshine213MySunshine213 member
    Oh I know, I wasn't implying your situation.. There's a difference between "I'm feeling a little down and need a snuggle from you" and "I just got news that a close family member died so I'm going to weep into my 3 year old's arms".
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  • AjoydAjoyd member
    The only time I remember my dad sad crying in front of me was when his dog died. I thought it was a good thing that I saw that side of him and that he loved his dog that much (I call it his dog because he got it before any of us were born). BUT I was probably 9 or 10 then so I understood what was happening. 

    I don't remember either parent ever crying over anything trivial. In all even my mom, who is a crier, never really did it much in front of us. 


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  • jennlinjennlin member
    my mom is a crier...not for not getting her way..but when watching "her shows". other than that, she cried when her parents died, and maybe one or two other non-tv related cries..

    my dad cried when his mom died, and i also vividly remember one time when my grandmother (his mom) was yelling at him...i don't know about what..but whatever it was, she was right, and he felt guilty about it. i was about 7.

    that's all i can think of.

    dd has seen me cry probably 50x's already..i'm the type that cries when a sappy commercial comes on tv...i cry at all graduations, even if i don't know them (i nearly bawled while they were reading the names of the doctorates.....they've all come so far! SIL was getting her BS). i get teary eyed and sometimes let a tear fall during the national anthem....i'm bad when it comes to crying. dd has seen me ugly cry a few times, too..when my IL's are being themselves. when the kids are older, i won't let them see the ugly cries..but for now, i think it's okay.


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  • Jalee85Jalee85 member
    I've only see my Mother cry a few times. My Grandma (who also raised me ) only once, that was the day I moved out of the home.

    I personally try not to get over emotional, because I have a hard time controlling myself. Meaning I could get hysterical quickly. I hope that I can show enough emotion to my daughter that I am not cold, but not come off as an emotional wreck.

    FTR - MIL cries very easily. When we got the x-rays on D's hips back saying there was something wrong. She called me balling her eyes out. I was all like MEH let's just get the problem fixed...lol
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