My first RE appt.

RazzyRN · September 2014

It went very well ladies.

I'm textbook PCOS which I already know. But my dr still wants to do lots of testing he is very thorough. We left with rx for :

CD3 bloodwork and ultrasound
SA
HSG and sonohyterogram
2 hour glucose tolerance test
A bunch of other labs (DHEA-sulfate, androstenedione, testosterone, lipid profile, amh, Ect.)

Everybody in the office was extremely nice and took thier time with us. They were impressed with how much I already know about all this (thank you TB) my head is kind of spinning from all the testing I have a head of me but I'm ready to get it all done so we can get this ball rolling.

The only thing H and I are on the fence about is if we are going to tell our families about all of this. It would make like easier in the aspect of not having to hide where we are at and getting off of work but we aren't sure we want all the questions that come along with it.

shirleymaeby · September 2014

Hooray! I remember how relieved I felt after my first RE appointment. The testing will go by super fast and you will be in treatment in no time! Good luck!!

ETA: I tell pretty much anyone who asks me about when I'm having kids. If they don't want to know about my IF they shouldn't ask questions like that in the first place. I think that it's easier to tell people who are close to you rather than trying to think up excuses and lies all the time. If you don't want to be asked uncomfortable questions afterward you could just say something like "We're in treatment right now so we're going to have a lot of doctor's appointments but we'd really rather not talk about it too much."

ky29 · September 2014

Glad it went well!! Good luck with the rest of the testing.

I opened up to my family, DH slowly mentions a few things to his. But that's his choice. Most of my friends and coworkers know too. I've found it more comforting to have people know. They don't make comments about when I'm having kids, or the ohh is she pregnant statement. But it's a personal choice. Don't rush into it, just whatever feels right to you!

lebradford · September 2014

Woo! I'm glad your appointment went well! It sounds like your clinic is great.

Personally, I'm for telling family. We took our time telling people, but now all of our immediate family knows (both sets of parents and siblings) as well as some key people at each of our jobs. We definitely had to take the time to tell people not only what was going on, but how we wanted them to discuss (or not discuss) it with us, etc. For example, I told everyone not to ask about it in front of other people, and that we would share general information, but not where we were in a treatment cycle. I sent everyone the RESOLVE article on etiquette as well. Even with all of this prep, my mom has managed to say some pretty hurtful things, but I took the time to explain why they were hurtful and gave her some space to think about it before trying to talk to her again. Even though it is not a perfect situation, I am very glad that our close family knows what's going on.

RazzyRN · September 2014

@lebradford‌ do you have a link to the resolve article? I think that may be helpful for me!!

steen9713 · September 2014

Sounds like you are off to a good start. I told my boss right away when we started with IF so she would be sure to approve and understand all my necessary Appointments. I also told my family, my family already kind of knew because my sister went through the same thing and we have very similar diagnosis. But I also told my DH family just so they were on the loop and knew to back off a little on the pushing is to GP. Now they are just very involved and always want updates. Which is nice and a annoying at times lol. But I'm pretty open with my family about what's going on. Just depends how you feel about it. I hope all goes well for you!

RazzyRN · September 2014

Thanks ladies!!

BunnyBerry · September 2014

Doesn't it feel good to have something concrete to do for IF like get all those tests done? (Sorry, just a jealous TWWer here, Lol!).

I tell family, because I can't imagine hiding anything from them. Shared with women at church to ask for prayers, and some have been really supportive. Also tell (NO details!) in a very nonchalant way to coworkers or others who might ask something about kids. But it's different for everyone. DH is really reticent to tell people anything, so that's a tension between us, and we try to compromise to respect each other's needs.

RazzyRN · September 2014

iPutKetchupOnKetchup said:
I'm so glad your appointment went well and that you like your office!

As for telling people, I am an open book. My family knows, MK's immediate family knows, my close friends know, the pet parent of our dog's best-furfriend knows, etc. You may get stupid questions and comments that will make you want to smack the shit out of the dipshit person. The more proactive you are about informing those you tell about IF and IF etiquette, the less likely you will be to have to deal with the ignorance of those around you.

I definitely second Bradford on the RESOLVE resources for Family and Friends, which can be found HERE. It can prevent a conversation from going south quickly when a person you are confiding in about your struggles offers up an insensitive suggestion because they are uneducated about IF. Have them read these articles first, then let them know that you are happy to answer any additional questions they may have.

I'd also suggest informing those you tell about what your personal triggers are and are not. For example, if being around KU family members would be a trigger, tell them. Unless they are total douchecanoes, they will be understanding and less likely to bring up a third cousin twice-removed who gets KU after {insert any seriously?! method} when you are calling to catch up. If it doesn't bother you at all, tell them. It will prevent them from walking on egg shells around you and treating you like you're about to break at any second. Since I did this, I've only had one or two unintentionally insensitive "suggestions," but they were from my grandmother and her memory sucks isn't quite what it used to be. Andplusalso, she can do no wrong in my eyes, so I let it go.

Hey that link just took me to a gif ! Can you try it again?? Appreciate it!!

williegsocks · September 2014

I'm in the same position you are. We finally had our RE appt and just finished all of our testing! The appt I have been waiting for is this Monday where we discuss results and start treatment...I can hardly wait for Monday (never thought I'd ever say that) We have not told our families either. They have no idea that we have even been ttc for over a year and a half now. With all of the testing and appts its been getting more and more difficult to keep it a secret. Every day that passes makes me want to tell them more and more, but like you I really want to avoid the questions and I REALLY want it to be a surprise when we are finally pregnant! Then I'll tell them all the pain and tears we went through for it. In the end, the decision is yours and you need to do what makes you happiest. The main thing is that you have gotten started and soon you will be one step closer to a precious baby! Best of luck!

RazzyRN · September 2014

Thank you ladies!!

lebradford · September 2014

Sorry for the delay! I'm usually on mobile, so I don't get notifications very often. Here is the IF etiquette link: https://www.resolve.org/support/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html

I have found this one helpful also, but I start with the other one: https://www.resolve.org/support/for-family--friends/when-infertility-strikes.html

Good luck!

RazzyRN · September 2014

thanks so much @lebradford!!

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