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February 2015 Moms
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Uncomfortable with people staring

toadandbug12toadandbug12 member
in February 2015 Moms
I am a FTM and have always been a little self conscious of my body. Now, being pregnant, it seems like all anybody wants to do when they see me is evaluate me to see whether or not I've started to show and stare at my midsection. It makes me extremely self conscious, especially because I just look like I've put on weight and don't look pregnant at all yet. I get that it comes with the "being pregnant" territory and people are just excited and wanting to see my body change, but it just makes me so uncomfortable. Has anybody else felt this way, and if so how did you deal with it?


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Re: Uncomfortable with people staring

  • katieohbaby18katieohbaby18 member
    I'm at FTM as well and I can relate to this. From the start medically it's been rough this pregnancy and I dropped a lot of weight. Once the cat was out of the bag, my family and friends wanted nothing more than to see an obvious bump. The attention that people would give my blump made me extremely uncomfortable. It went as far as touching my stomach, and in my head I just felt embarrassed because I know that it was nothing to be all googly eyes over yet. I'm now 17 weeks (woot woot!) and I popped out much sooner than anticipated. People stare and evaluate in public but I'm learning to take it as a compliment, they are noticing the miracle inside of me and that's something I'm okay with. :) Hope this helped at all!
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  • toadandbug12toadandbug12 member
    Thank you. Yes people touching my stomach makes me feel so uncomfortable because there's really nothing to feel yet, maybe just some extra pounds! I'm hoping that will change when I have an actual bump and I will be okay with people staring or touching. Right now I just find it difficult because I'm in the awkward phase of none of my clothes fitting right so it makes it hard to feel comfortable in my own skin!


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  • mommy510mommy510 member
    Once you get a bump and friends and family have their initial reaction it will get better. Of course, there are those who will stare and comment every time they see you, but for the most part it gets old to them after a while.
    Strangers will probably stare more as you get bigger. The last 3 weeks people acted like I was a time bomb ready to go off. When I was at the gym, literally every person who walked by wanted to know if I was currently in labor, if I was past due, or if I thought my water was about to break. These were all total strangers.
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  • kefttsckefttsc member
    I am average sized but was working hard to lose weight when it got pregnant. Now, I find it hard to eat so often and to be gaining weight. Having a belly is something I worked so hard AGAINST but now it's a blessing. So hard, but so wonderful at the same time.
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  • Maple403Maple403 member
    My office mates have been giving me the "look at the face, look at the belly, look at the face" thing for the past few weeks. I did what I could to spread the word that I'm pregnant, so I think most of these glances are people who are eager to see me getting bigger. People get really excited about pregnancy and new babies in my office (both men and women), so I think they basically just really want to see a noticeable baby bump. I've been wearing a lot of empire waisted summer dresses, so they have been disappointed. I'm also not showing very much.

    Unfortunately, people staring and evaluating how you look is going to be part of the game. I try to just ignore it, but it can be kind of irritating.
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  • Beth.1212Beth.1212 member
    toadandbug12 said:
    Thank you. Yes people touching my stomach makes me feel so uncomfortable because there's really nothing to feel yet, maybe just some extra pounds! I'm hoping that will change when I have an actual bump and I will be okay with people staring or touching. Right now I just find it difficult because I'm in the awkward phase of none of my clothes fitting right so it makes it hard to feel comfortable in my own skin!
    I don't think there's much you can do about stranger staring. For close friends and family, and maybe even coworkers who you know would take it okay, I think it's totally okay to tell them it makes you uncomfortable to have people staring at your tummy and if they could refrain, you'd really appreciate it. 

    The belly touching is another story in my book. That's really an invasion of personal space. If someone went for my belly (and I had the presence of mind - sometimes you don't think clearly till after!) I'd step backwards, extend my hand slightly, smile gently and say, "Please, don't. I'm not comfortable with people touching my stomach." 
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  • acpruchnikacpruchnik member
    I was in the best shape I've ever been in when I got pregnant with my DS and it was hard for me to deal with people noticing my belly at first, especially during the blump stage. I had worked SO hard to get so thin and he was a complete surprise. Once I started to round out, I got really excited to catch people looking and loved seeing little old ladies smiling at the sight of my bump. I'm much more relaxed this time but that could also be because we tried for a long time to get and stay pregnant and DS being SUPER excited makes me SUPER happy!

    As for people touching my belly.... That's a whole different story. If you're not my doc, my kid, my husband or my family (luckily they've always been polite enough to ask) then the belly is OFF LIMITS!

    I went to school with a girl that thought it was necessary to constantly touch my belly and would literally RUN down the hallway to grab it if she saw me. I didn't care for this girl anyway so her touching me was the LAST thing I wanted happening. I was only a few weeks along, was sick as a dog constantly and nowhere NEAR showing! I finally had enough one day when she started telling the other girls, with her hand rubbing like a mad scientist, that my baby was going to call her "Auntie." I then made it a point to rub her belly the next time she touched mine. She got really offended and barked at me telling me I was being rude. Needless to say, she never touched my belly again :)

    The few strangers that have reached for mine have also gotten returned belly rubs and it seems to help weed out the rudeness!
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  • tlglass91tlglass91 member
    Go buy some maternity clothes! They'll make you feel/look prego instead of just baby bloat.
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  • diamond7986diamond7986 member
    People have a natural reaction to stare. I don't think that makes it right for them to do, but they do it. I hate going out in public and people's eyes go directly to my belly. It's like when you notice someone looking at your boobs or something on your face other than your eyes--just makes you feel uncomfortable.
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