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January 2015 Moms
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What has happened to our society!?

thompniathompnia member
in January 2015 Moms
I have to go to bed, but I have to share the outrageous events going on in my small community. We are a conservative, friendly community of less than 3000. The outpouring of support for this employee is more than 1600 'likes' in less than 24 hours.

What do you think?

https://fox17online.com/2014/09/03/grocery-store-cashier-says-he-was-fired-for-hugging-a-customer/
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Re: What has happened to our society!?

  • BigbonededBigboneded member
    Bummer. Seems pretty unfair in a small town. I guess I can see that the corporation has to be corporate, but it is sad that somebody needs to jump to assault charges for one hug! Was she just passing through? Or is she a regular that had asked not to be hugged before? It is sad that after 30 years or so, probably just doing what he did, he would be fired.... :-(
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  • NatureLoversNatureLovers member
    He did not have the right to touch a customer. No one has the right to touch someone else without their consent, even if the contact was intended to be friendly. I would be very upset if this happened to me. I do not like strangers touching me. This guy clearly has issues with boundaries, and since he can't be trusted to behave appropriately with the public (especially women), he's clearly unfit for the job.
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  • MaebbMaebb member
    Sorry, I don't read Fox News.

    Jk (kind of), but my brother got in trouble for hugging another student in kindergarten because the teacher had a "no touching" rule. At first I thought she was so mean and heartless, but the other side is that it's good to understand boundaries and respect others' personal space.
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  • thompniathompnia member
    Maebb said:

    Sorry, I don't read Fox News.

    Jk (kind of), but my brother got in trouble for hugging another student in kindergarten because the teacher had a "no touching" rule. At first I thought she was so mean and heartless, but the other side is that it's good to understand boundaries and respect others' personal space.

    This is a local station, not the Fox news channel.

    I understand that they company had to let him go because of the criminal charges. What I don't understand is how a side hug becomes criminal assault and battery. A simple, "No, thank you," or "Dont touch me," or "please, stop" would have been sufficient.

    I have gone there for a long time and he hasn't hugged me, but he has always been very sweet. I can't imagine the hug went to a person who he had never seen before, unless she looked very upset and in need of a hug, and I am sure if she vocalized her distaste he would have stopped and apologized that moment.

    I wanted to try to get some perspective from people from outside the community. We are a "huggy" place. We hug in church, schools, athletic events, etc. It is not unusual for people to be hugging.
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  • thompniathompnia member
    I understand why the company did what it did (though I wish a suspension or other lesser disciplinary action would have been taken first.) I also understand the complaint at the store level.

    I just don't get how it elevated to criminal charges. I am very curious to see how this all plays out. Definitely needing some more details.
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  • nmrdnmrd member
    The article also mentions that there have been multiple complaints about him. I checked out the FB page for boycotting the store to see if there was any additional info and the victim blaming on that page is pretty offensive. People are attacking a guy who posted that his wife had complained several times (not the person who filed the suit) and they're telling him his wife should have just stopped shopping there. No. That's ridiculous.
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  • nmrdnmrd member
    edited September 2014
    Oh, also what's happened to our society is that people, after hearing only one side of the story, will start a campaign to defend someone accused of assault and then attack and blame anyone who disagrees or who would file charges, without having any information.

    ETA: Oh, and then they'll post the story to a baby message board lamenting the sad state of a world in which someone is fired for repeatedly touching customers after management had received complaints. And the sad state of a world in which someone can file charges and have the complaint heard in court. WHAT A SAD WORLD.
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  • nmrdnmrd member
    bookworm92 said:
    According to a few comments he used the hugs to "accidentally" touch women in inappropriate ways. Of course since it's a support page everyone was all pissed off that people would even say that. Also there are comments about how the management put out a statement that they have received multiple complaints and finally decided to terminate. I was unable to verify that through a search though. I couldn't sleep so I researched what I could find. There isn't much on the story
    I was wondering if something like this might have happened. We still don't know for sure. But while it's possible someone is just filing frivolous charges, it seems equally if not more likely that someone would go to the trouble to do this for actual reasons, such as the employee inadvertently groped her. The fact that so many people in this town are apparently unwilling to consider the latter possibility is sad and disturbing to me. I understand many of them care about this employee and want to come to his defense and don't believe he could have harmed anyone and I think that makes sense as a response. But at the same time, please be willing to expect that you could be wrong about something or someone until you've heard any of the actual reasons the charges were filed.
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    bookworm92 said:

    According to a few comments he used the hugs to "accidentally" touch women in inappropriate ways. Of course since it's a support page everyone was all pissed off that people would even say that. Also there are comments about how the management put out a statement that they have received multiple complaints and finally decided to terminate. I was unable to verify that through a search though.
    I couldn't sleep so I researched what I could find. There isn't much on the story

    Ugh!

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  • thompniathompnia member
    nmrd said:

    Oh, also what's happened to our society is that people, after hearing only one side of the story, will start a campaign to defend someone accused of assault and then attack and blame anyone who disagrees or who would file charges, without having any information.

    ETA: Oh, and then they'll post the story to a baby message board lamenting the sad state of a world in which someone is fired for repeatedly touching customers after management had received complaints. And the sad state of a world in which someone can file charges and have the complaint heard in court. WHAT A SAD WORLD.

    I did not start the campaign, and I will admit that there is more to the story that we don't know. I personally don't like the store for other reasons, and have only stopped there on occasion and it was because of this man's kindness. I did say that I understand the store's point of view.

    I reached out here because I wanted to hear opinions from an unbiased source. The person who started the Facebook group contacted the news, so that is why the story is one sided. And I understand that the law wants to protect the accuser - it is despicable the way people are talking.

    Obviously our community is behind the times. I feel terribly for Fred, and while I am confident that if any inappropriate touching happened, it was an accident, I am open to the idea that it may have happened.
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  • peggels24peggels24 member
    If I went to a grocery store and an employee tried to hug me, I would be livid.  I would definitely complain to the store and if this was not the first time this had happened, I may very well contact the police.  

    I am actually shuddering at my desk thinking of a stranger coming up to me and hugging me.
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  • literarymuseliterarymuse member
    edited September 2014
    thompnia said: Oh, also what's happened to our society is that people, after hearing only one side of the story, will start a campaign to defend someone accused of assault and then attack and blame anyone who disagrees or who would file charges, without having any information.

    ETA: Oh, and then they'll post the story to a baby message board lamenting the sad state of a world in which someone is fired for repeatedly touching customers after management had received complaints. And the sad state of a world in which someone can file charges and have the complaint heard in court. WHAT A SAD WORLD.
    I did not start the campaign, and I will admit that there is more to the story that we don't know. I personally don't like the store for other reasons, and have only stopped there on occasion and it was because of this man's kindness. I did say that I understand the store's point of view. I reached out here because I wanted to hear opinions from an unbiased source. The person who started the Facebook group contacted the news, so that is why the story is one sided. And I understand that the law wants to protect the accuser - it is despicable the way people are talking. Obviously our community is behind the times. I feel terribly for Fred, and while I am confident that if any inappropriate touching happened, it was an accident, I am open to the idea that it may have happened.


    -----------------------------------------------
     I don't think @nmrd meant to imply that you are the one who created the FB group. 

    I really appreciate your response to everything here. A lot of people, in the face of all those comments, would get really defensive and lash out. I appreciate that you're willing to actually have a conversation about this sort of thing. 

    I agree that any inappropriate touching (i.e. groping) was     probably accidental. But I agree with others that this was not the first time that someone has reported him for hugging when it was unwanted, so it's entirely appropriate for him to be released from his job. I'm rather appalled by the way commenters have been reacting on the news page. I didn't look at the FB page. 

    ETA: quote fail
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  • Roxycc55Roxycc55 member
    Can I just say as someone who has filed two different sexual assault reports, which neither of were taken any further by police, that legal action doesn't get taken when it shouldn't. I fact, the opposite is usually the case. Just saying. There had to be more going on here for them to actually pursue charges.


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  • juls427juls427 member
    Sounds like they didn't want to pay his retirement annuity to me!! Let's see how much business that store gets in that town now! Ha!
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  • nmrdnmrd member
    thompnia said:
    [snip]
    I did not start the campaign, and I will admit that there is more to the story that we don't know. I personally don't like the store for other reasons, and have only stopped there on occasion and it was because of this man's kindness. I did say that I understand the store's point of view. I reached out here because I wanted to hear opinions from an unbiased source. The person who started the Facebook group contacted the news, so that is why the story is one sided. And I understand that the law wants to protect the accuser - it is despicable the way people are talking. Obviously our community is behind the times. I feel terribly for Fred, and while I am confident that if any inappropriate touching happened, it was an accident, I am open to the idea that it may have happened.
    Thanks for clarifying your position and sorry if it seemed as though I was suggesting you started the campaign. I was mainly reacting to the comments on the facebook page and to your posting this story with a rhetorical question suggesting that there is something wrong with our society because a man (claims he) was fired for hugging someone.
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  • nmrdnmrd member
    Also, my heart goes out to those on this thread who shared stories about having sexual harassment and violence complaints dismissed. Thanks for sharing your stories, and I'm sorry that this is something you went through.
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  • GraceInCAGraceInCA member
    aditigirl said:

    Hi @GraceInCA‌! Nice to "see" you here.


    (Bumpie formerly known as MrsNorry on the loss boards)

    Hi!

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