How involved w/ your shower are you?

sweetdreamz6700 · September 2014

Right after I announced to all the in laws SIL1 mentioned she was excited to host a baby shower and mentioned maybe in early Nov. with the holidays and all. It hasn't been discussed since then until this past weekend and she mentioned a convo w/ another cousin about not getting decorations yet since I haven't told her what theme I wanted. I've always though "baby shower" was a good theme, no clue about the other stuff. So is MTB choosing a theme a "thing" now?

I guess I'm stumped because where I come from (area and social circle) and what I have always known to be appropriate is basically providing a registry and guest list and then showing up. The hostess(s) would handle all the rest. It seems quite the opposite around here and its weird to me. Both SIL1 and SIL2 were quite involved in each of their showers last year (wedding and baby). SIL1 did put together a surprise wedding shower for us which was nice There were several people there I had never met before so it was a bit odd and I wasn't able to invite any friends (wasn't asked who should come) but generous regardless. I've just really not been in this position before and honestly my guests would be 95% percent DH's family as my close friends and family live 3k miles away.

So how involved are each of you with the planning of your showers? Should I go against what I've always known and start becoming involved or just let it ride and go from there?

crystalw88 · September 2014

No one has mentioned a shower to me yet. For my wedding shower however, I created a guest list and registry and just showed up!

Nvywife · September 2014

The host usually adds some of the mommy to be's likes into it. The last one I threw was a rubber duck theme. The mom kept a lot of the decorations for room decor, and scrap booking.

sweetdreamz6700 · September 2014

sugahcookie01 said:

I'll be involved in choosing the date (my family doesn't do surprise baby showers, so I get to say when a good date/dates would be for me), providing a guest list/contact info (I may make things easy on my sister and just give her printed out labels) and registry info.

Otherwise I just show up and feel grateful!

This is exactly what I'm used to! I honestly don't care where it is or what you decorate with. I'm just grateful to have someone host.

It just doesn't seem to be how anyone here does things and its FREAKING ME OUT. lol

Hernsy · September 2014

I guess I'm the only one who totally read this subject line and thought initially that you were talking about the amount of time it takes me to take a bath. I guess that would tell you how much I have thought about a baby shower to date.

I am pretty sure that I will provide a guest list, registry and show up. I do trust my friend not to totally embarrass me by getting people to guess my weight as a game, but that's about it.

MommyOfAMiracle · September 2014

My mom is throwing my baby shower and we both decided on a date. We had to really think about it since it's so close to the holidays. But other than that, i'm providing the guest list, contact info and registry.

I've mentioned a little about decor and my mom has told me that it's been taken care of. So I've just kept quiet.

kefttsc · September 2014

Made the registry, made the guest list (at least most of it), picked my favorite kind of cake and showed up!

Cookie0875 · September 2014

I haven't been asked yet, but it's typical around here to just do the registry, provide a guest list and show up. When I did one for my BFF a few years ago, I went with the theme she was using in her nursery. Maybe you could just tell them what theme you plan for the nursery, and tell them to take it from there?

cls78 · September 2014

Just choosing the date since I am traveling to VA for it. My Stepmom was asking about themes I liked, but I am not doing a theme nursery so I didn't have a lot of ideas.

jaztastic · September 2014

Shower 1- Im involved with all things, but currently opting to take a back seat now that major decisions have been made

Shower 2- Other than date, and offering my house as the place, Im totally in the dark

Shower 3 - will be a work thing, and I will have ZERO input.

ordinary1 · September 2014

Typically it's how much your host wants you to be.

For my first shower I was only asked to provide a guest list. For the second I was asked on guest list, date, and asked what my nursery theme was.

rosieo52 · September 2014

No one has mentioned a shower for me yet. But for most of wedding showers I picked a date that also worked well for the hostess and a guest list. The one my DH's godmother threw for me I didn't even have input on the guest list. Which was odd to me because any shower I have thrown that's the one thing the guest of honor gets to do. But that's just another thing my in-laws do I think is weird! Like a PP said I didn't know many people there so it was a little awkward!

ksgsmu · September 2014

For my shower I gave the hostesses some date options and a guest list. They did ask me if I preferred a theme and I didn't care so I told them they could pick it.

I will also be buying my hostesses a gift for having the shower... something small but personal

jennjilljo · September 2014

I was so uninvolved in my shower that I was in a different state.

lizjennings81 · September 2014

My sis is planning long distance (MI to DC). I'm letting her know the places around here that are good for food and cake. Other than that, dates, people to invite, offering my place since I'd hate for her to spend to rent a venue.

lizzybean · September 2014

My Mom planned mine (we don't do crazy elaborate parties, but a nice get together with friends and family). I live 3000 miles away so she just planned it for my last visit before having the baby.

Oem617 · September 2014

I had say in the date, the guest list and the registry. My friends and family took care of the rest.

AshleySparkle720 · September 2014

I will be involved in mine.I hate not knowing anything

PeaceofKia · September 2014

My only job is to create the invitations. And this is only because we're having our maternity photos taken October 5th and will have digital versions of the pics, so I told my mom I'd go ahead and create them online, she'll place the order and mail them out. Other than that, I just get to show up!

rainbowbrite22 · September 2014

I gave my sister a few friends to invite, the rest is family. I'm in the same boat as you OP, my sister and mom asked me where I want it, what theme I want, if the games they chose are ok, etc. I told them I trust their judgment and I'll be happy with whatever.

sweetdreamz6700 · September 2014

Thanks for all the responses!

I'm gonna have a chat w/ SIL and the rest of the fam in a week or so. *Hopefully* they understand I'm not trying to be difficult and completely trust them.

krysmill · September 2014

I'm just showing up. My mom has a guest list I helped with but I told her what ever she wants to do. I trust her and she knows what I like. I choose my cake at my bridal shower and my MIL had a fit that I did everything. A good friend of mine offered to do it for me and she also offered to do my baby shower cake. This time around though we are not doing joint showers. Do what ever you are comfortable with.

kimmykaye · September 2014

My sisters did my shower with dd1. I gave them names/numbers and did a registry. They wanted my input for what food/snacks I'd like and flavor of cake and the date/time. My shower was actually held after dd1 was born, while she was still in the NICU (born @ 32wk). They planned the games and everything else. I didn't have showers with dd2 and dd3. As far as I know I won't have one this time either, but with the SILs that we live by now, ya never know.

Amaryllismagic · September 2014

I've been to several showers where the theme was matched to the nursery, that might be why they asked you. Other than that, your instincts are correct - you're not supposed to be involved beyond guest list and registry.

jaymo517 · September 2014

My mom and mother in law are hosting and have asked my opinion on a lot of things. It's not that I need to be involved, it's just they both have never done this before (only girl on both sides) so they want to make sure they're not missing anything. Plus our shower is going to also be our gender reveal so that's another element they wanted to get right I guess. To each their own.

mahalo3 · September 2014

My sister and sister in law are hosting my shower at my house. They both live really far. Sister tells me she doesn't want me to help at all, other than providing the house and helping to choose invitations. HOWEVER, planning parties are hereditary in my family. I have already started pinning stuff, and I have platters, tablecloths, vases, and everything else needed to host large parties. So...I have a feeling I will be more involved than we all think. I also coowned a dessert business, so I will most likely be providing those as well.

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