How Would You RSVP?

AmandaJean12 · September 2014

DH has friends (think same social circle, wouldn't call them to get together outside of that) getting married the week before my EDD, about a half hour away.

I 100% realize I could be totally fine, or could have a newborn already. It's not so much if I CAN go, because I don't think I can really know ahead of time.

It's how to RSVP. I feel bad making them pay for two dinners when there is a high probability of us not going. But DH said while he agrees there's a good chance we won't go, we should RSVP yes or it looks like we didn't even try.

And now I've overthought this from every angle. What would you do?

caranichole · September 2014

I would probably do as DH suggested and then possibly contact them now to let them know your situation. They may be planning for a few extra plates just in case anyway.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

Honestly, I would probably decline but then send them a gift. But that's just me.

persephonerose · September 2014

I would honestly just decline. If you would not hang out with them normally I would not feel bad for saying no.

Or you could just call and ask if you can RSVP to the ceremony and skip the reception. That way you can spend a little time celebrating with them but not worry about if you feel up to staying for the entire event.

MrsMac613 · September 2014

If you really want to go I would RSVP and if you end up not making it send a gift and text/ call to explain why you couldn't make it and congratulate them. I had a few ppl that rsvp'd to my wedding that got sick or had an emergency and couldn't make it. I wasn't upset with them at all. Things happen.

Aurora1181 · September 2014

theresat858 said:
Based on how close/not close it seems you are to them, I would decline and send a gift.

However, we did have a couple who was due right around the time of our wedding. We told them that a last-minute yes or no was completely acceptable, because of the circumstances. (I'm pretty sure DH called and told them this maybe a week or two after invites went out).

If the couple is not close enough to you to be aware that it is right by your due date, then I wouldn't feel bad declining the invitation.

Not sure how to bold the last sentence (on mobile), but this is my thought exactly!

Not that close to them? Id decline and send a gift.

Dani0329 · September 2014

I agree with many other PP, calling and saying you would love to go but don't want to mess up the count if the baby has other plans. Then you can play it by ear. I am in a wedding 2 weeks before my EDD and I HOPE the bride will understand if I am unable to make it, though mine is farther than 30 minutes.

DaniGrace89 · September 2014

I have my sister's wedding one week before my due date. I'm the matron on honor. If it wasn't my sisters wedding I would be RSVPing absolutely NO.

angeltennis3 · September 2014

I was supposed to be in a wedding 5 days after my EDD. I told my friend I wouldn't be able to stand up with her, but if I can stand to sit in a pew I would be at her ceremony. However I know how expensive weddings are and i didn't want them to have to pay for me to be a no show so I would decline their reception. She completely understood and was grateful I was so considerate to be honest.

AmandaJean12 · September 2014

Thanks ladies. If it were only up to me I'd send the the gift and decline, but I think the idea of having DH call about when they need the final count will at least make him feel better about not looking like he is flaking for no reason.

I just know how expensive wedding stuff is and it makes me feel bad wasting people's money!

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