Parenting

Behavioral concerns :(

DS is 4 and has always been a challenge. He's very strong willed and can be quite the PITA. We've always been really consistent with him and I've pulled out lots of "teacher tools and tricks" to manage his behavior.

The past several months his behavior has really declined and I've gone from thinking that he's a challenge, to--now I'm really concerned it's something more. DH and I have been mulling it over and over and we've decided to get him
an outside evaluation by a psychiatrist. He already gets a full eval through the school district as part of his speech services, but I'm interested to see if the findings match up.

I want the absolute best for my baby and will advocate for him to the best of my ability, but it's so hard and scary to see things in him that I know in my heart and mind are not really ok. :(

I'm just sad about it and feel like a bad parent that I can't fix him.

Re: Behavioral concerns :(

  • I'm sorry.  I know how it feels to think there is something "wrong" with your child and have to take steps towards having a professional look into it.  You are most certainly not a bad parent.  You are obviously attentive, involved, loving and concerned.  A bad parent wouldn't try to work with their child or seek help for them.  He's very lucky to have you.  I hope you get some answers.  ((hugs))
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  • Thanks guys. It's so hard.

    His behaviors include:

    Defiance
    Manipulation
    Hitting
    Kicking
    Disrespectful to adults/strangers (one day the cashier at the grocery store smiled and said hi to him when we were checking out and he screamed back at her, "I'm gonna hit you!"...I nearly died).
    Talks down about himself-"I'm a bad boy" (we never call him that).
    He purposely destroys things and does not care about consequences.
    He has zero currency-as in, there is NOTHING that I can use to bargain with him. He doesn't care that much about anything.

    This list makes me feel sick to my stomach. Looks so awful.

    But, when he's having a good day he is the most warm, mushy, affectionate, loving, thoughtful, funny, silly boy. Just this weekend we were at a BBQ and a little girls' mother asked her if she wanted a cookie and the girl
    said yes. DS heard so he went over and picked up a cookie and handed it to her. She said thank you and he said you're welcome and gave her a hug. Some days I'll walk out of my room after getting dressed and he'll say, "Mommy you look beautiful". He's totally juxtaposed. I've been trying to dig and find out if it's something specific that's bothering him and I've come up with nothing.

  • I hope you can get some answers. Some of those behaviors sound like age Factors to me.


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  • I'm sorry you're having a tough time with your boy. I too, have been having a really hard time with my 4 year old. My challenges are different, but I definitely understand the stress. ((Non creepy hugs))
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