Kindergartner misses Mom...how do I deal with this?
jallen76
member
Hey!
My son started Kindergarten this Tuesday. He did Pre-K in the same school last year which was all day, every-other day. Kindergarten is all day, every-day this year. Mid-summer, he started developing separation anxiety with me. If we went to the park, he had to stay 3 feet from me, I took him to the fair and he wanted me to wait "right by the exit" and not move so he knew where I would be. Cried when I dropped him off at Vacation Bible School and during, saying he missed me. Those are just a few examples. He did great in Pre-K last year. No issues at all. I feel like he is regressing. He is almost 6! He was so brave the first day of school until it was time to walk into the room and then he just clung to me, hid his head and cried. I finally got him in and he was fine the rest of the day. He said that he was "to sick" to go to school yesterday, but after some positive reinforcement, he got going and had a good day. Now today, I just got a phone call from his teacher saying that he was crying and missed me. She wanted me to talk to him to hopefully make him be happier. Not sure what to do!!!!
How do others deal with their kids who are fearful of going to school, who miss them, and don't want to go? What do I tell him? How can I make him toughen up? Do I coddle or be forceful? I don't know how to handle this situation.
Any thoughts?
Re: Kindergartner misses Mom...how do I deal with this?
Maybe? I gave him a "be brave" bracelet. He wore that the first two days and said that he didn't need it today...maybe he did. :-)
As you can imagine it is a bit overwhelming to jump back into a school year and if he was in a separation anxiety phase then it would be hard on him. Best thing you can do is to be firm, consistent but understanding and caring. Don't let him get in the habit of staying home because he is missing you because it will make it really hard to break that habit.
Make sure he isn't feeding off an anxiety or worry from you...if you are oozing confidence he will soak it up. Maybe give him something to look forward to at the end of the day? Acknowledge what is worrying him but remind him of the cool things he gets to do.
In general practice calling him doesn't help most homesick children...hearing mom's voice will send most kids into a meltdown. I hope it didn't upset him more! Are you able to chat with the teacher so you both have some strategies? Maybe send him a special note in his lunch that the teacher will read to him stuff like that. Have the teacher remind him that he will see mommy after __ (what ever their end of day activity is). Have them inform him of the schedule so he knows what to expect.
I've worked in kindergartens...the first little bit is tough but they soon all fall into routine and things run smoothly...hopefully your little guy settles in soon!!
I think the transition from summer to school must be difficult if your home with mom. Maybe take him out for ice cream and talk about how cool kindergarten is. Maybe get a list of all the great things he'll be doing there? Maybe come up with a list of things you can do on the weekends together that will make life special.
As a side note: I would highly suggest getting him involved in some camps next summer so you don't run into the same issues.