February 2013 Moms

Toddler still wants to be fed like a baby

Am I the only one whose toddler doesn't like to feed herself? I'm pretty sure she could do it, but she won't. She still likes me to feed her at every meal. She doesn't seem interested in touching her food or using utensils (though she will play eat with her play utensils from her toy kitchen!). It's so frustrating. Is the only solution to just not feed her and let her eventually feed herself??? I hate the idea of doing that, but I do want her to learn (and I want to stop eating with one hand while I feed her with the other)!

Re: Toddler still wants to be fed like a baby

  • Hmm.  We do not have much success with utensils but finger feeding has been going on for over a year.  In the preemie world, there are a lot of sensory things, etc. that prevent successful self-feeding so you should probably describe this to your pedi next time you are in.  

    Are non-sticky things (like Cheerios or puffs) also rejected?  We still feed 95% finger food options (broadly--things like hamburger are finger foods to my LO) and then regularly give something like yogurt or oatmeal in a bowl to provide a spoon development option.  I also have started giving a fork when a fork is appropriate to use but hands could also be used.  When M asks me to help her with the spoon or fork, I do, but then I might load the next bite and hand it to her or encourage her to do a bite herself.  She would probably starve if she needed to be able to get enough yogurt in her mouth to live using a spoon, but she is getting better.

    Although my child is extremely independent in some ways, the number of times she gives up or asks for help is a million/day and I often find myself saying "you can do it."  If you can't get any progress with encouragement and options, I would not just stop feeding her.  I would call the doctor and perhaps get an early-on assessment which might get you some free occupational therapy and could give you some good techniques to encourage her. 
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  • What do you do while she eats? Are you sitting with her and eating, too, or are you moving around doing chores? She might just want your attention and to be engaged somehow during meals. I think that's how DS is sometimes. It's inconvenient, for sure.



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  • Thanks, everyone. It IS frustrating! I'm sitting with her and eating, too. She will feed herself dry snacks - goldfish, puffs, yogurt melts, pieces of bread - things like that (and she's better about it when she's not in her high chair). I guess in her high chair at mealtime, she just expects me to feed her. I try to encourage her to put food in her hands, or I hand her the fork (with a little bit of food on it), but she sort of seems annoyed and pushes it away. If I go to feed her, though, she opens her mouth! Maybe she doesn't like to touch non-sticky food? I feel like I may have better luck just trying to teach her to get better with utensils since she seems so reluctant to eat with her fingers. She just seems disinterested in learning how to feed herself. I will keep trying to encourage her!
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