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Working Moms
citymama2012
member
Au Pair
citymama2012
member
in Working Moms
Has anyone used an au pair? Can you tell me a little of your experience-- pros AND cons? It seems like good value for the amount of child care you get. We have extra living space so room and board is not really an issue.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Au Pair
First of all, there is a great site aupairmom.com that has a ton of information and just moms chatting about their experiences. Supposedly the site is searchable, but I have had better luck just typing my search into google. Almost every problem I have had, I have found an answer to on that site.
Anyway, back to your questions.
I think that the pros and cons of the program kind of vary by family. A big pro for me was flexibility. Aupairs can work up to 10 hours/day, 45 hours/wk. They have to have 1.5 days off every week, and a true weekend once a month. Other than that, there aren't many limitations. Unlike a nanny or babysitter, they do not have other obligations outside your home (although they will probably have a social life).
Cons: Roomate issues. You are sharing your home (and maybe your car) with a young woman in her late teens/early twenties. She will almost certainly do things you don't like, from loading the dishwasher the wrong way to eating all of the oreos to doing the walk of shame back into your home at 6am. Our first aupair totaled our car. Fortunately, the kids weren't in it, and no one was hurt.
Language barrier: Both girls spoke pretty good english, but neither spoke english well enough to have an easy conversation or participate at a holiday dinner where multiple people were speaking at the same time.
Other than that, there are a lot of differences, but it is kind of up to your family if they are pros or cons. One is that most are relatively inexperienced (although all of them have some experience in childcare). On one hand, it's great to be able to tell them how you want things done. On the other hand, you generally have to take the lead in discipline, potty training, etc. Our more experienced babysitter kind of did these things on her own and acutally showed us some tricks she had learned in the past.
Another is that they live with you/share meals with you. With our first aupair, my kids were really little, and I kind of resented feeling like I was expected to make dinner every night (although this was absolutely, totally on me, and not a requirement of the program at all). With our current aupair, I am making dinner every night anyway, and I like the company and hearing about the kids day.
Cultural exchange. Again, good aspects and bad aspects of this. It is interesting to learn about another culture, and see our own culture through someone else's eyes, but it can make some things awkward.
That's all I can think of right now, although I am sure there are a lot more pros and cons. I know that some people really love the program. And while I really love the girl living with us now, I am still kind of on the fence about recommending the program in general.
She does have her own television and computer, so she can skype with her family or watch her own TV shows without feeling like she is on display. Of course, that also means that the kids will run in her room with her if they don't like what the other one is watching on TV or playing on the computer. I do sort of think that's on her though. She could kick them out rather than putting on their favorite shows and giving them cookies